Skip to main content

Reddit user RegBarc just posted a really disturbing, heartbreaking letter, which has already gone viral on social media sites. It's a letter from his father. It was written five years ago, when he finally worked up the guts to come out to his dad. RegBarc writes:

In August of 2007, I finally built up the courage to tell my father I was gay. The moment I said it, the phone got quiet and he got off the phone after a few "Okay"s. I decided to give him time to process the news.
A week later, right before his birthday, he received a handwritten note from his father. In it, he was summarily disowned, completely cut out from his dad's life. It was seemingly done without much heartache, and years of being raised by this man were effortlessly put in the proverbial toilet and flushed. Pure, unadulterated hate: that's the only way to describe something so heartless, soulless, and cruel.

Follow me below the fold for the letter and more.

Here is the letter:

Image Hosted by

If you have trouble reading some of the handwriting, here is what it says:

James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write.

I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past.

Don’t expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house.

You’ve made your choice though Wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle.

If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand.

Have a good birthday and good life.

No present exchanges will be accepted.


And, with that, it was over. A father-son relationship completely destroyed, all because the dad doesn't approve of whom the son loves.

RegBarc writes:

I've never done drugs, was an excellent student, an obedient child (far less trouble than many of my classmates), didn't drink until I was 22 because it terrified me, and have had just 1 speeding ticket in my life. Yet I am still seemingly deserving of this terrible act of hate and cowardice that one person can place on another. 5 years on and I am still doing fine, though this letter saunters into my mind every once in a while. When it does, I say without hesitation: F**k you, Dad.
This is nothing new to many LGBTs. Disowning is far, far more common than it should be. Just take a look at the numbers of LGBT homeless youth. On an abstract level, this is indeed nothing new. But to look at this letter, an artifact of hate and a reminder that no matter how far we've come we still have lightyears to go, is nevertheless jarring. Necessarily jarring.

RegBarc writes something else that I think is important:

It's important to know just what this zealotry from Bryan Fisher, Maggie Gallagher, Dan Cathy, et al., does to everyday people.
Of course, he's right. During this whole Chick-fil-A thing, when bigots and haters kept harping on "free speech," this is what they were supporting. This is indeed what Dan Cathy and his company advocate and fund. This is what Bryan Fischer pushes on his radio program. This is what they want. This is a down-to-earth example of how hate speech can and does impact real people.

Originally posted to Chrislove on Tue Aug 07, 2012 at 01:47 PM PDT.

Also republished by Angry Gays, Milk Men And Women, and LGBT Kos Community.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

buddhistMonkey, Angie in WA State, TXdem, CJB, Chi, filkertom, MadRuth, madmsf, Bob Love, SanJoseLady, LuvSet, Jay C, Mlle L, moira977, LeftHandedMan, freelunch, lady sisyphus, davelf2, JLFinch, CatM, bronte17, susans, cskendrick, whenwego, Ian S, boadicea, PBnJ, mrblifil, chimpy, Bill Roberts, splashy, KathleenM1, aitchdee, wader, revsue, NMRed, slippytoad, psnyder, Dallasdoc, Miss Jones, CitizenOfEarth, elmo, Teddifish, exiledfromTN, HeyMikey, BMarshall, dwahzon, Steven Payne, renaissance grrrl, outragedinSF, bwintx, econlibVA, zerelda, ybruti, Sembtex, Pam LaPier, vacantlook, sebastianguy99, davidkc, Bluesee, BluejayRN, qofdisks, Erik the Red, craigkg, dewtx, YucatanMan, madmommy, boofdah, owlbear1, bleeding blue, Viceroy, uato carabau, ladybug53, blue jersey mom, jeff in nyc, Carnivorous Plantling, kaliope, PinHole, Shotput8, Ginny in CO, mph2005, Floja Roja, kerplunk, coloradorob, kathny, martini, third Party please, rserven, Shirl In Idaho, redcedar, irishwitch, myboo, Kingsmeg, Clytemnestra, BlueInARedState, BeadLady, hungrycoyote, profundo, VolvoDrivingLiberal, praenomen, SadieSue, Preston S, myrealname, middleagedhousewife, BlueMississippi, Texdude50, jkshaw, cpresley, GoldnI, Thinking Fella, Tamar, One Pissed Off Liberal, pgm 01, rchipevans, devis1, LSophia, ColoTim, gloriana, EdSF, wildweasels, terabytes, Dave in Northridge, sfbob, newpioneer, glbTVET, bnasley, Swill to Power, jayden, Back In Blue, Killer of Sacred Cows, CT Hank, Rumarhazzit, uciguy30, Aynsley, gizmo59, JDWolverton, adrianrf, TruthFreedomKindness, wayoutinthestix, Marko the Werelynx, Senor Unoball, bythesea, smrichmond, Akonitum, royce, Cassandra Waites, left my heart, Gemina13, J V Calin, petulans, Cardshark, luckylizard, nokkonwud, My Spin, DixieDishrag, JamieG from Md, HoosierDeb, enufisenuf, CA coastsider, RWN, oldliberal, 207wickedgood, MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrel, maggiejean, robbinsdale radical, Louisiana 1976, Ran3dy, DontTaseMeBro, juca, BoiseBlue, banjolele, DefendOurConstitution, Mylies Voice, Alise, sfarkash, Dragon5616, EAColeInEmporia, jpmassar, America Jones, Larsstephens, Lefty Ladig, BlueOak, commonmass, marabout40, NMDad, TFinSF, gramofsam1, stunzeed, eb23, Polly Syllabic, freeport beach PA, mjbleo, ATFILLINOIS, Eddie L, JoanMar, pixxer, anonevent, shel3364, elengul, Otteray Scribe, Oh Mary Oh, dwayne, stevenaxelrod, Its a New Day, annieli, yellow cosmic seed, MidwestTreeHugger, oldmilitant, slowbutsure, jardin32, FarWestGirl, asterkitty, kevin k, SoCaliana, skip945, marleycat, sethtriggs, thomask, SueM1121, floridablue, Prinny Squad, marianevans, peregrine kate, mali muso, Hayate Yagami, jolux, SteelerGrrl, CoyoteMarti, Apost8, caryltoo, DEMonrat ankle biter, allergywoman, No one gets out alive, AnnetteK, stormicats, OldDragon, anodnhajo, Flying Goat, Williston Barrett, Siri, nellgwen, midgebaker, pimutant, Yonkers Boy, congenitalefty, Horace Boothroyd III, DollyMadison, Tyler R, jan4insight, belinda ridgewood, pot, BC Progressive, MartyM, Brown Thrasher, jennyp, arizonablue, Kayjay, Melanie in IA, Robynhood too, Arilca Mockingbird, allensl, Blue Bell Bookworm, nomandates, countwebb, Eric Twocents, Late Again, JayRaye, quince, ljcrazyhistorian, sweetsister, Scottie Thomaston, Smoh, Avilyn, GreenMountainBoy02, Politikator09

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site