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The shootings in the Sikh temple in Wisconsin, along with the shootings in Aurora Colorado make it clear we need to have a serious discussion about firearms and public safety. We need to have that discussion now, while these events are fresh in our minds.

Clearly, the status quo is not working, we are not safe in our schools, theaters, homes, streets, or places of worship. Cool-headed and thoughtful commentators have suggested, and I agree, that the answer is a more heavily armed populace. The problem is that only 47% of adults in the USA have firearms in their home and only one third of Americans personally own a firearm. That statistic is pathetic when you consider that 52% of Americans are covered by health insurance. Where are our priorities? There has to be a solution to this problem.

The solution I see is mandatory handgun ownership and mandatory carry laws covering all adults in the USA. The Supreme Court says this kind of mandate is constitutional, so that’s no problem.

We would have to subsidize ownership for those who cannot afford it. That would be easy enough. We clearly cannot afford food or shelter for the poor, but subsidizing their firearms would be a snap. Conservatives may balk at the handout, but we could sweeten the pot by making this an employment bill, too, simply by requiring that the handgun be manufactured in the USA. My home town of Springfield MA (home of Smith & Wesson) will be booming again!

Well trained counselors from the NRA could help ensure that each individual purchases a handgun appropriate to their age and physical condition. Weak-minded, anti-American peaceniks could require additional education, but the NRA (perhaps we make the NRA a cabinet-level, quasi-governmental organization?) could run educational institutions in peaceful, rural areas where the pleasant surroundings and wise counsel would enlighten their minds—kind of a gun camp—sounds like fun!

Once this law is in place and we’re all heavily armed, peace will rule in the streets. Under no circumstances could anyone even imagine that a minor traffic incident could escalate into a shootout with half a hundred bystanders taking potshots at each other. Giving another motorist the finger because he cuts you off would be a thing of the past when you realized you would be running the risk of getting that finger blown off by the other driver’s Kel-Tec PF9!

What we need now is a snappy acronym and this law practically writes itself!

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