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Last night, Jon Stewart took another look at the presidential campaign during the dog days of summer, and at the various ads being run against Obama and Romney, and how the right-wing freaked out when Romney spokeswoman Andrea Saul brought up Romneycare.

ANDREA SAUL (8/8/2012): Obviously, it's unfortunate when anyone loses their job.  This particular case was a plant that was closed years after Governor Romney left the company.
Whoa, whoa.  Slow down there, Fact-Check Johnson.  Of course Romney wasn't in day-to-day control of Bain when that guy got laid off, and the guy's wife wasn't on his health insurance at the time.  Anyway, but that's not the point!  They say your man Romney is running around this country killing ladies.  What say you?
ANDREA SAUL (8/8/2012): And, to that point, you know, if, you know, if people had been in Massachusetts under Governor Romney's health care plan, they would have had health care.
Oh, you done fucked up now!  (audience laughter and applause)

No, no, no, no, no!  What?!  Your response to this full-force face punch is, "Well, if you want a President who believes the government should provide everyone with health care, you should vote for the guy who designed that plan, Mitt Romney, I just...."?

Conservative freakout in 3... 2...

....

ANN COULTER (8/8/2012): Anyone who donates to Mitt Romney, and I mean the big donors, ought to call Mitt Romney and say if Andrea Saul isn't fired and off the campaign tomorrow, they are not giving another dime, because it is not worth fighting for this man if this is the kind of spokesman he has.  To respond to an ad like this by citing health care in Massachusetts??
"God, this whole thing just makes me so unlikeable, I mean, mad!  Mad!  I meant mad!"

And then, in her rage, Ms. Ann Coulter drew back the curtain, and revealed the great and powerful Oz.

8/8/2012:

ANN COULTER: ... it is not worth fighting for this man if this is the kind of spokesman he has.

SEAN HANNITY: I agree with you.

ANN COULTER: I'm serious.  There is no point to you doing your show!

SEAN HANNITY: I agree with you.

ANN COULTER: There is no point to us going to a convention and pushing for this man if he is employing morons like this!

Did you guys catch that?  The part where she said to Sean Hannity, the Republican presidential candidate has made a move we disagree with and it makes me so mad, because you all here at this news network have been working so hard to push for him!  Yet he continues to go off the message you designed!

But you can't really blame Ann Coulter, she's a part-time conservative contributor pundit.  Or Hannity, he's just a square-headed life support system for Roger Ailes' Post-It notes.  He really is.  I gotta believe, he's what would happen if the coach from Friday Night Lights ate G. Gordon Liddy.

You would never actually find a news person at Fox being told by one of Fox's in-house political operatives that even discussing this ad is not following the correct narrative.

8/8/2012:

KARL ROVE: This ad may be seen by only a few people, shown a few times, and more attention is going to be given to it on the national media by programs such as yours covering it than are actually going to be seen by ordinary people.

STUART VARNEY: I guess you're right, Karl.  Maybe I should not have done this.

What?!  "Aw, Karl, you're right!  I didn't even think of that!  Gaaah!  You're so far ahead of me!  Ah, Varney, you idiot, idiot, idiot!  Before I report a story, I should always consider how it might damage our ultimate political goals!  Argh!  Karl Rove, I'm sorry, I forgot who's in charge here.  Please don't do that thing where you make my throat close from a distance!"

But understand this.  Karl Rove is not a cruel overlord.  He can temper justice with mercy.

KARL ROVE (8/8/2012): No, no, I'm glad you did, because it draws attention to the fact that they're really over the top and desperate.
"Oh thank you Karl!!  I will not fail you again, sire!  I will cut off my finger as a symbol of loyalty!"  (Jon mimics cutting off finger and blood gushing everywhere)
Video and full transcript below the fold.

Let's begin on the campaign trail with Democalypse 2012: Dog Days Edition.  It's August, the election's approaching, we're going to check in on how both candidates are sharpening their message.
ALINA CHO (8/8/2012): We want to talk about a comment that a lot of people are talking about today, the President critiquing Mitt Romney's tax plan with a new name for Romney that's already becoming a bit of a buzz word.  Let's listen.
OK, OK.  First of all, thank you for showing us what an Italian widow wears to a lobster wake.  "I can't believe my Antonio, he was such a good boy!  I'll have-a two pounds, broiled, not steamed.  Antonio!!"

By the way, if you like that, you'll love my new one-man show.

Said the New York Times, "Big mistake for a show".  Anyway, let's be serious.  Let's hear what the President says.

BARACK OBAMA (8/6/2012): He'd ask the middle class to pay more in taxes so that he could give another $250,000 tax cut to people making more than $3 million dollars a year.  It's like Robin Hood in reverse.  It's Romneyhood.
Should be pretty easy for Romney to top "Romneyhood".
MITT ROMNEY (8/7/2012): We've been watching the President say a lot of things about me and about my policies, and they're just not right.  And if I were to coin a term, it would be Obamaloney.
(Jon facepalms)

How can a guy who looks so much like Don Draper be so bad at writing ad copy?  I mean, everybody loves baloney.  At least try for a meat no one likes.  Obalive loaf.  Do something!  That's an insult.  Then maybe they hit you back with Pastromney, and then you counterpunch with Barackwurst.  Look, then, I know it's August, and you all are as bored with this as the rest of us, but the election's in 2 ½ months, I think pun time is over.  Raise your game!


JOE SOPTIC: When Mitt Romney and Bain closed the plant I lost my health care ... a short time after that, my wife became ill ... there was nothing they could do for her, and she passed away in 22 days.  I do not think Mitt Romney realizes what he's done to anyone.
That's what I'm talking about.  Don't dance around Romneyhood or Obamaloney.  MITT ROMNEY KILLED THAT GUY'S WIFE!!  Who's full of Obamaloney now, wife-killer Romney?

Take a bow, super PAC guy who created the homicidal Romney ad.

8/8/2012:

ANDERSON COOPER: How can you imply that Mitt Romney and Bain are somehow to blame for that poor woman dying of cancer?

BILL BURTON: My goodness, we don't, and we would not.

(in feminine Southern drawl) "I mean, my goodness, how could you think so little of me?  To say such a thing, Anderson Cooper, why I do declare, you are a cad and a bounder of the highest order!  And I thank you to fetch my petticoat and my coachman!  Good day, sir!"

Burton, what are you doing?  What are you being coy for?  Just say it!  Mitt Romney gives wives cancer!

BILL BURTON (8/8/2012): The point of the ad is to tell the story of the impact that Mitt Romney had on the lives of thousands of people.  When he came to town, they lost their jobs, they lost their health care, they lost their pension benefits, and that impact is felt still today in those communities.
Stop your bullshit.  Just say it.  Mitt Romney is the leading cause of wife cancer!  I don't understand, own it!  If Burton's not going to stand behind the ad, maybe White House spokesman Jay Carney will.
8/7/2012:

BRIANNA KEILAR, CNN: I'm wondering if the President believes that Mitt Romney shares responsibility in her death.

JAY CARNEY: Ah, you know, I have not seen the ad. ... I haven't seen this, I can't respond to it.

BRIANNA KEILAR, CNN: I followed up with Carney after the briefing, and he told me that he may look at the ad, but if I ask about it, quote, "my assessment will be, I have no assessment."

(audience laughter)

Jay Carney, you are truly as crafty as the circus people who bear your name.

But don't think that you will escape the wrath of Team Romney.

ANDREA SAUL (8/8/2012): Obviously, it's unfortunate when anyone loses their job.  This particular case was a plant that was closed years after Governor Romney left the company.
Whoa, whoa.  Slow down there, Fact-Check Johnson.  Of course Romney wasn't in day-to-day control of Bain when that guy got laid off, and the guy's wife wasn't on his health insurance at the time.  Anyway, but that's not the point!  They say your man Romney is running around this country killing ladies.  What say you?
ANDREA SAUL (8/8/2012): And, to that point, you know, if, you know, if people had been in Massachusetts under Governor Romney's health care plan, they would have had health care.
Oh, you done fucked up now!  (audience laughter and applause)

No, no, no, no, no!  What?!  Your response to this full-force face punch is, "Well, if you want a President who believes the government should provide everyone with health care, you should vote for the guy who designed that plan, Mitt Romney, I just...."?

Conservative freakout in 3... 2...

ALEX WAGNER (8/8/2012): In response to Saul's remarks, Erick Erickson, the conservative editor-in-chief at RedState.com, tweeted:
OMG.This might just be the moment Mitt Romney lost the election.
O.M.G.?  I didn't know the guy who runs RedState.com is a 13-year-old girl.  "Mitt Romney has put himself at a disadvantage electorally.  TTYL XOX."  Can someone show Erickson how a real man reacts?
ANN COULTER (8/8/2012): Anyone who donates to Mitt Romney, and I mean the big donors, ought to call Mitt Romney and say if Andrea Saul isn't fired and off the campaign tomorrow, they are not giving another dime, because it is not worth fighting for this man if this is the kind of spokesman he has.  To respond to an ad like this by citing health care in Massachusetts??
"God, this whole thing just makes me so unlikeable, I mean, mad!  Mad!  I meant mad!"

And then, in her rage, Ms. Ann Coulter drew back the curtain, and revealed the great and powerful Oz.

8/8/2012:

ANN COULTER: ... it is not worth fighting for this man if this is the kind of spokesman he has.

SEAN HANNITY: I agree with you.

ANN COULTER: I'm serious.  There is no point to you doing your show!

SEAN HANNITY: I agree with you.

ANN COULTER: There is no point to us going to a convention and pushing for this man if he is employing morons like this!

Did you guys catch that?  The part where she said to Sean Hannity, the Republican presidential candidate has made a move we disagree with and it makes me so mad, because you all here at this news network have been working so hard to push for him!  Yet he continues to go off the message you designed!

But you can't really blame Ann Coulter, she's a part-time conservative contributor pundit.  Or Hannity, he's just a square-headed life support system for Roger Ailes' Post-It notes.  He really is.  I gotta believe, he's what would happen if the coach from Friday Night Lights ate G. Gordon Liddy.

You would never actually find a news person at Fox being told by one of Fox's in-house political operatives that even discussing this ad is not following the correct narrative.

8/8/2012:

KARL ROVE: This ad may be seen by only a few people, shown a few times, and more attention is going to be given to it on the national media by programs such as yours covering it than are actually going to be seen by ordinary people.

STUART VARNEY: I guess you're right, Karl.  Maybe I should not have done this.

What?!  "Aw, Karl, you're right!  I didn't even think of that!  Gaaah!  You're so far ahead of me!  Ah, Varney, you idiot, idiot, idiot!  Before I report a story, I should always consider how it might damage our ultimate political goals!  Argh!  Karl Rove, I'm sorry, I forgot who's in charge here.  Please don't do that thing where you make my throat close from a distance!"

But understand this.  Karl Rove is not a cruel overlord.  He can temper justice with mercy.

KARL ROVE (8/8/2012): No, no, I'm glad you did, because it draws attention to the fact that they're really over the top and desperate.
"Oh thank you Karl!!  I will not fail you again, sire!  I will cut off my finger as a symbol of loyalty!"  (Jon mimics cutting off finger and blood gushing everywhere)

Come on, you pussies, stand up!  Oh, this ad shows they're desperate.  Fight fire with fire, boys.  Obama's super PAC is saying Romney is killing people.  You need to step up.

VOICEOVER: Barack Obama promised us change.  But since his election, the only change we've seen is this.  And this.  And this.

Since Barack Obama became president, we've lost 75% of our Golden Girls, and one Designing Woman.

So vote for Mitt Romney.  Don't let Obama finish the job.

BETTY WHITE: I'm scared to death, if you must know.

VOICEOVER: Paid for by Americans in Favor of Keeping Betty White Alive.  Betty White is in no way responsible for participating in, or aware of this ad.  Estelle Getty's death in July 2008 was not technically during Obama's presidency, but was considered close enough for him to be blamed by us.

We'll be right back.
Jason Jones then went to Maine to cover the Redneck Olympics, oops, I mean, the Redneck Blank.  (The actual Olympics prevented them from using their name.)
Meanwhile, Stephen used the news about Michele Bachmann's witchhunt against Huma Abedin to preview his next Better Know a District series, where he talks with Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN).
He then noted the new psychological study from scientists in New Zealand and Canada about "truthiness" having a basis in reality.
Stephen talked with actor Woody Harrelson about his new Broadway play, and Jon talked with author Joanna Brooks about Mormonism, which went long.  Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Aug 10, 2012 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by DKOMA and Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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