After 19 installments of The Innumerable Flaws of Mitt, it's time to turn our attentions to conservative wunderkind Paul Ryan.
If you're new to this exercise in poetical alphabetical enumeration of political shortcomings, fear not. Your intrepid diarist generates an A-through-Z list of foibles, peccadillos, sins, character flaws, misdeeds, and witless prounouncements. You're welcome to add the list, since it will clearly take a village to keep up with the many reprehensible aspects of youn Paul Ryan. Now that he's in the rarified air of the Romney campaign, we can expect more shocking revelations. So without further ado, let's get started.
A for abortion; Paul Ryan says "no!"
His mentor Ayn Rand was okay with it though
B for the budget to slash Medicare
Consigning old people to lives of despair
C is for Catholic, Paul's faith, so it's said
(Did Jesus say poor people shouldn't be fed?)
D for his district where he must still run
A bargain for folks in Wisconsin 01
E, economics, a double-edged sword
Be careful, young Paul; you don't want to get gored
F foreign policy street cred Mitt lacks
Young Ryan won't help him fend off those attacks
G for the government Paul wants to shrink
Though for 14 years; it's the trough where he'd drink
H for the House where he rosed to acclaim
Now he's just a scapegoat for Willard to blame
I for ice floes where eskimos send
Their elderly people when life nears an end
J for wife Janna who's married to Paul
A pretty campaign wife who'll answer the call
K is for Koch Brothers who've pulled all the strings
Now Paul's on the tickets; expect awesome things
L is for Limbaugh; will he bless this choice?
It isn't official 'til we hear his voice
M is for Mitt, who has now jumped the shark
Will Ryan provide him with that campaign spark?
N is for Norquist who calls all every shot
On who can be rented and who can be bought
O for Obama, who now has the script
For countering Romney whose ratings have slipped
P for the poor, whom the Catholics hold dear
But Ryan says "hey, don't dump those people here!"
Q for the quotes that live on on YouTube
That show he's a big hypocritical boob
R for Republican budgets that slash
The poor's safety net so rich guys get more cash
S for that smirk he can't wipe off his face
When thinking of seniors he's going to displace
T for low taxes for Mitt and the rich
While poor folks pay more; Paul says "hey, life's a bitch!"
U, USA, once the land of the brave
Our poor founding fathers now turn in their grave
V for the vouchers that Ryan would give
No matter if they won't let old people live
W for Wisconsin, the land of the cheese
We don't want your Ryan; just take him back, please
X for the X Grover tells him to sign
On every tax cut when their plans all align
Y for the youth vote; will Ryan do well
When they see the snake oil he tries to sell?
Z zero taxes for one-percent folks
As Medicare cuts mean your grandmother croaks
Now it's your turn; use the "comments" to add
More reasons why Ryan is truly that bad