Republican spokespeople are out in force today to tell us that Obama and Democrats need to develop a sense of humor.
And they are right. Oh come on! It's just a little Birther joke. It doesn't really mean anything. It's just a joke!
May I make a suggestion that may assuage any hurt feelings and help put this election cycle back on a more friendly, less negative footing?
I think, to prove that there's no hard feelings, Mitt and Obama should just get together and laugh it off over a beer. Maybe even a Whiteouse Honey Ale. Mmmm...
OH WAIT! I forgot. Mitt doesn't drink beer like a normal person does. I know... Okay, okay... How about this: Instead, they could get together for a cup of coffee, the breakfast of champions...
OH SHIT OH WAIT! MITT DOESN'T DRINK COFFEE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. Sorry, I'm really fucking dumb today for some reason.
Well, I get it. He's religious. Right. Well, if they can't do either of those things, maybe the president and Mitt could get together for a laugh-filled evening of watching Mitt's own number one fan, Jeff Foxworthy (who has publicly endorsed Mitt at rallies), on the new GSN show he hosts, The American Bible Challenge. That would create a nice wholesome atmosphere...
OH WAIT DAMMIT. THEY DON'T ASK BOOK OF MORMON QUESTIONS ON THAT SHOW. Right. Mitt's a Mormon! They have their own religious book, the Book of Mormon, by the prophet Joseph Smith. I don't know now. Might it be unfair to taunt Mitt with Bible questions when he is probably more acquainted with the BOOK OF MORMON and all its non-Bible saints and religious imagery. I'm sure Mitt has had some acquaintance with THE REAL BIBLE that NORMAL CHRISTIANS READ, but it might be unfair to expect him to know it as well as the MORMON HOLY BOOK. Sort of like a MORMON KORAN. It even has its own set of Mormon religious laws, sort of like Sharia for Mormons. With all that stuffing his head, he might not get the purpose of the show.
I'll save the worse for below the fold. You have only yourself to blame if you click it.
Okay, scratch that idea then. Maybe they could watch a little HBO then. Like Big Love, that show about the guy married to all those hot sister-wife chicks. Maybe Mitt knows a few people like that. Hell, maybe he has his own set of sister-wives in the Utah desert somewhere, collecting welfare while they make and sell knick-knacks on Ebay and schtup each other's children.
Okay, I'm just kidding now. Just funnin' with you Mitt. I know you don't have any sister-wives stashed away. Well, probably not. But really, we do need to do something about this caustic atmosphere. Sharing a little humor like this can only improve that atmosphere. Right?
By the way, have you ever noticed how HOT some of those blonde Mormon chicks are? I can't help myself. I drool over them. Where do you get 'em all? It must be from all that in-breeding, sort of like breeding miniature ponies, only it was generations of in-breeding for hot, hot blonde Mormon chicks.
By the way, speaking of hot blondes, Ann's still looking good. But in those old wedding photos, like... WOW! Just curious, does she wear that magic underwear stuff? Does it come in black? I just want to know, because blondes in black underwear, well, wow. So how does that work at bedtime? Do you, like, peel the magic underwear off each other with your teeth to get things started? That must take some doing. Sort of like Sex-Twister, but only more Mormony.
Those of us that are only used to THE NORMAL BIBLE can only imagine and wonder about that, so, sorry if it seems so intrusive. But hey, loosen up, dude! Listen to your own spokespeople. They are on to something there. I'm just funnin' with you. Grow a skin.