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Hello, human diary. It is I, Mitt Romney, your better.

I am off to the convention! Plans have been underway for some time, but I must admit some trepidation as to how many details need to be worked out for these things. We are thinking now that we will move the voting portion of the event to take place on the first day, and as early on that day as possible, so as to allow the delegates as little opportunity as possible to get second thoughts about the matter. After that comes another three days of speeches and videotaped celebrations of my obvious superiority, with the coronation event itself apparently taking place on the last day. We are still working out exactly who will praise me and in what order they will do so.

Most of the focus of the event seems to be on convincing the commoner units that I am not an objectionable fellow. This is similar to our general efforts on the campaign trail, except there will be a great deal more individuals involved in stating that message, many of them somewhat famous in their own states or professions. I am certain I will do well, as I tend to function best in environments in which a great many people are praising me.

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