Skip to main content

Oh, there aren't any LW Fundamentalist preachers?  No wonder this isn't breaking news.

I was all set to get into arguments about how it's really uncivil to call Paul Ryan the Antichrist just because he's.... um ....anti Christian?

Or to eviscerate those who think it's really stupid to think there's a God who sends weather events to, for instance,  New Orleans to punish those infidels for being ....black?  Poor?  No, immoral, immoral is better.  If by immoral you mean black, poor, and unwilling to punish teh gayz.  Or terrorists to NYC because we've done something.  It was 11 years ago, cut me a break!  Was it gayz or welfare queens or not praying in schools?  Too disinterested to bother with Google.

Seriously, we need to get out there and recruit us some Speakers For God.  We're running a deep deficit here in the religious wars, and it makes us look atheistic.  Or open-minded, which is probably the same thing and definitely evil.

Fuckitall, I'm a Left Wing Preacher's kid, I'll go there!

Let's see.  Okay, it was a vision in the middle of the night.  Well it might have been a holy-shit-there's-a-lot-of-garlic-in-this-soup sort of nightmare, but let's go with vision.

So in my vision the clouds parted (it must have been daytime) and a Bright Light shown through and a loud voice said unto me "I sent the nuns on the bus.  I even goaded a couple of Bishops out of their torpor.  What is it about "A budget that is the opposite of Christian teachings" is too complicated for you people?"

And then He (very deep Charlton Heston type voice, must have had a gender) spake, saying "I will send a perfectly predictable weather event to smite those who hear but cannot process critical thought so that they shall know that I am God."

TWEET THIS!  Make it go viral.  

No don't, I'm 62 and "go viral" makes me think of stomach flu and high fevers and stuff.

Speaking of aging and Intelligent Design, what's the deal with my eyebrows are invisible now that they're turning gray but my nostril hairs have enough melanin to morph from blonde to black?

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (12+ / 0-)

    I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

    by I love OCD on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 07:51:05 AM PDT

  •  Just because I'm a Very Serious Thinker! (5+ / 0-)

    Or it's Saturday and I don't want to clean birdcages or vacuum the bedroom.

    It's the latter, gotta be honest.

    I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

    by I love OCD on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 08:00:07 AM PDT

    •  If you're in the mood to clean birdcages, I have (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      I love OCD, grover

      a few that are on today's to-do list....

      •  My two live in Birdie McMansions. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        lineatus

        They wear me out!  But they also saved them during a raccoon invasion, so well worth it.

        I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

        by I love OCD on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 08:47:44 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  She's lucky I just cleaned up the yard. (0+ / 0-)

        I have a couple of dogs, and my big one eats a lot. It's not fair for a woman of God to choose which of God's critters she prefers.

        She can skip my house this week.

        Besides, she has a lot of prophetizing to do in the next fe days.  As Jesus said, go from town to town, spreading the message; carry no money.

        Visa is accepted pretty much everywhere.

        © grover


        So if you get hit by a bus tonight, would you be satisfied with how you spent today, your last day on earth? Live like tomorrow is never guaranteed, because it's not. -- Me.

        by grover on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 12:05:10 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  From another serious thinker- (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      I love OCD, grover

      I can't fix politics, but about those greying eyebrows:
      Rapidlash serum is amazing. It's meant to make eyelashes longer (which it does amazingly well), but it also makes them darker after a few weeks.  Same with eyebrows.

      Changing the world one step at a time..

  •  I'm just waiting for it to hit Tampa so (6+ / 0-)

    I can make the call.

    God is angry with Republicans.

    And their lifestyle choices.

    The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

    by xxdr zombiexx on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 08:12:23 AM PDT

  •  And how apropos is it that it is named Isaac? (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    I love OCD, SuWho

    The name of a famous scientist ...and teacher....

    Sometimes I think repubs would violate the law of gravity, if they could.

    The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

    by xxdr zombiexx on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 08:14:54 AM PDT

  •  I love you. (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    lineatus, I love OCD, SuWho, grover

    Yes I do.

    That "Bright Light" was probably Noise of Rain and the OLB.

    Theodicy was my favorite subject in Seminary. No, really. We screwed the pooch on that one from the beginning.

    If someone would invent a time machine, there are a few "Church Fathers" who I'd like to slap the living shit out of. Someone needs to get on that.

    Shall I pray for your nose hairs? Couldn't hurt.

    Love,
    A left wing preacher who manages to be accused of preaching politics every time she preaches the Gospel. Go figure.

    Nobody is normal because everyone is different- my eight year old daughter

    by left rev on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 08:19:31 AM PDT

    •  Your comment needs expansion into (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      left rev, SuWho, grover

      a diary.  I LOVE that you get clobbered for being political when you preach Gospel.  It's the whole religion issue in a nutshell, and you have valid experience I'd be interested in hearing.

      I play the organ at our local Catholic Church and we have a brand new Priest I may be falling in love with.  The super-conservatives bailed from the church after he preached a radical sermon suggesting that God loves everybody, and doesn't choose His People by virtue of what they call themselves.

      The guy he replaced spent every Sunday bolstering Armageddon beliefs with quotes from various Visions of Mary.  I perfected my look of pious inscrutability.  Do Not play poker with me!

      I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

      by I love OCD on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 08:40:54 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  It's nothing paticularly (4+ / 0-)

        diariable (izzat a word? should be). Its simply that the message of Jesus Christ and the early church is freaking RADICAL. They squirm at Luke's preferential option for the poor, Matthew's Beatitudes (I'm working them slooooowly into Luke's Woes), Mark's messianic secret and sacrificial faith, and John just makes an audible sound as it flies right over their dear little noggins from time to time. And those Communistic Act's church communities....don't get them started.

        Its just been rough for them, understanding Wesleyan theology and gospel radicalism in their Calvinistic/Evangelical context. They're trying, though. Bless their little hearts.

        Nobody is normal because everyone is different- my eight year old daughter

        by left rev on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 09:11:23 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  How DARE you actually teach Jesus' words (2+ / 0-)

          and deeds to folks who expect "Christianity."

          And yet, I have hope for many of them.

          I know someone who teaches cooking classes to young people. Every time they bite into pizza they made with their own hands, chicken they baked, or Mac and cheese they whipped up from scratch, they exclaim "this is NOT like what we are used to!" (Pizza Hut, KFC, Kraft Neon M&C) before they take another bite and then devour the whole serving.

          Many of us only know what we have been served. We think it nourishes our souls until we're shown the real thing. Then we simple can't get enough.

          Bless those who are trying and the one who leads them with patience and wisdom. {hug}

          © grover


          So if you get hit by a bus tonight, would you be satisfied with how you spent today, your last day on earth? Live like tomorrow is never guaranteed, because it's not. -- Me.

          by grover on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 12:20:35 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  "When I feed the hungry they call me... (0+ / 0-)

          ...a saint.  When I ask why they are hungry they call me a communist." Helder Calmara, archbishop (1909-1999)

          "The opposite of faith is not doubt. It's certainty."

          by Simul Iustus et Peccator on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 12:52:19 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  •  Oh, haven't you heard???....Isaac is the son of... (3+ / 0-)

    ...Sarah, so that means that God has sent this storm to throw the Republican Convention into a state of chaos,,,

    ,,,from which will emerge the anointing of Sarah Palin as the Republican Candidate who will save the whole freaking world!

    Amen.

    draw a window on the wall to remind you of the silkrain that makes things grow - Yoko Ono

    by quinn on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 10:17:02 AM PDT

    •  OK, now that really garlicy soup (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      quinn, SuWho, grover

      has thrown my stomach into uproar.  Or Sarah Palin as the savior of the world makes me puke?

      I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

      by I love OCD on Sat Aug 25, 2012 at 10:29:35 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site