Oh, there aren't any LW Fundamentalist preachers? No wonder this isn't breaking news.
I was all set to get into arguments about how it's really uncivil to call Paul Ryan the Antichrist just because he's.... um ....anti Christian?
Or to eviscerate those who think it's really stupid to think there's a God who sends weather events to, for instance, New Orleans to punish those infidels for being ....black? Poor? No, immoral, immoral is better. If by immoral you mean black, poor, and unwilling to punish teh gayz. Or terrorists to NYC because we've done something. It was 11 years ago, cut me a break! Was it gayz or welfare queens or not praying in schools? Too disinterested to bother with Google.
Seriously, we need to get out there and recruit us some Speakers For God. We're running a deep deficit here in the religious wars, and it makes us look atheistic. Or open-minded, which is probably the same thing and definitely evil.
Fuckitall, I'm a Left Wing Preacher's kid, I'll go there!
Let's see. Okay, it was a vision in the middle of the night. Well it might have been a holy-shit-there's-a-lot-of-garlic-in-this-soup sort of nightmare, but let's go with vision.
So in my vision the clouds parted (it must have been daytime) and a Bright Light shown through and a loud voice said unto me "I sent the nuns on the bus. I even goaded a couple of Bishops out of their torpor. What is it about "A budget that is the opposite of Christian teachings" is too complicated for you people?"
And then He (very deep Charlton Heston type voice, must have had a gender) spake, saying "I will send a perfectly predictable weather event to smite those who hear but cannot process critical thought so that they shall know that I am God."
TWEET THIS! Make it go viral.
No don't, I'm 62 and "go viral" makes me think of stomach flu and high fevers and stuff.
Speaking of aging and Intelligent Design, what's the deal with my eyebrows are invisible now that they're turning gray but my nostril hairs have enough melanin to morph from blonde to black?