[crossposted at "Hey, Marty, WTF?]"
Speaking off the cuff at an informal gathering of cherubim late Sunday, Supreme Deity and creator of the universe God said He was at a loss as to what further he could do to convince the Republican party of his displeasure with its failure to follow His dictates, including "blessed are the poor" and "love thy neighbor," while professing to act in His name.
"At this point, I am literally sending a mighty wind to wash them into the sea, yea, even down to the seventh generation," said the King of Kings. "You'd think something like that might get a person's attention."
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God was likely referring to Hurricane Isaac, a tropical storm currently bearing down on this site of this week's Republican National convention in Tampa, Fla.
"Don't make me do the thing with the fire," added the deity.
God reminded those assembled that this was not the first time he had sent the GOP a sign. "If you'll recall—not that anyone does—I sent my mighty breath to blight their last great gathering as well," said the Author of Eternal Salvation, commenting on the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., whose first night was disrupted by preparations for Hurricane Gustav.
"Of course, they assumed it had something to do with gay bookstores in Minneapolis," God concluded, staring sullenly into his drink.
The Lord of Hosts then added that he had sent a glowing, disembodied hand to write "Judge not, lest ye be judged" on Rep. John Boehner's (R-OH) bedroom wall, but the House speaker assumed the phenomenon was some sort of promotion for the film "Exit Through The Gift Shop."