Last night, Stephen Colbert brilliantly took apart the scourge that is Ayn Rand, and how her heartless philosophy has infected Paul Ryan and the modern day Republican Party.
And Paul Ryan is a true believer. Here's how he celebrated Rand on her 100th birthday.
PAUL RYAN (2/2/2005): The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand. ... I grew up reading Ayn Rand and it taught me quite a bit about who I am and what my value systems are, and what my beliefs are. It's inspired me so much that it's required reading in my office for all my interns.
Now, requiring Ayn Rand for interns fits perfectly with her message that you should work for free and think exactly the way your boss tells you to.
And, you can see the Randian influence in Paul Ryan's own work of Ayn Rand fan fiction, the Republican budget.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
It's just as readable as Atlas Shrugged. Just as good as Atlas Shrugged, he rewards job creators by cutting their taxes, and teaches society's parasites self-reliance by cutting health insurance that would treat their parasites.
He also looked at how the Romney campaign has stated he'd model his presidency after that of
James Polk.
It's a perfect comparison, because Mitt Romney has also said he'd do four things as President.
1) You'll
2) Find
3) Out
4) Later
(wild audience cheering and applause)
Now, like Polk, Romney will continue the priorities of the Polk administration. Like slashing the bloated Tariff of 1842, or as it was called, VanBurencare. I'm sorry folks, I don't want some government bureaucrat coming between me and my whale tallow and hoop iron!
Plus, Polk invaded Mexico to annex Texas, making him almost as unpopular with Hispanics as Romney.
So folks, I am pumped about a Mitt K. Polkney presidency. Except the comparison may not do Mitt justice, because Polk was President in the 1840s. And Romney's and Ryan's positions are a little bit older than that.
Videos and full transcripts below the fold.
Tonight in Tampa, the libertarians are having their moment. We will here from great political philosophers like Senator Rand Paul, and see an inspiring tribute to his dad Ron. So sad Ron Paul isn't around anymore to speak for himself. I'm sure he's in a better place. Like, Orlando.
Now, more importantly, tonight is the vice-coronation of Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan, the man who has electrified the party base with his homespun down to earth way of telling the poor to suck it up.
Now, one of the key figures who unites these small government crusaders is libertarian philosopher and lost Addams Family cousin Ayn Rand. Rand is the mother of objectivism, the philosophy of rational self-interest — which, according to your college roommate, means in order for man to achieve his highest potential through reason, he must leave his shit all over the common room.
But, Ayn Rand saw her mission as something much deeper.
1959:
AYN RAND: I'm challenging the moral code of altruism.
....
MIKE WALLACE: Christ, every important moral leader in man's history has taught us that we should love one another. Why, then, is this kind of love, in your mind, immoral?
AYN RAND: It is immoral if it is a love placed above one's self.
....
MIKE WALLACE: If a man is weak, or a woman is weak, then she is beyond, he is beyond love?
AYN RAND: He certainly does not deserve it.
Sorry fellas, she's taken.
Now, the popularity of Rand's novels, like The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged has surged recently with sales of her books skyrocketing since Paul Ryan joined the ticket. Just like Mitt Romney's nomination boosted sales of the book he's based his career on, He's Just Not That Into You.
And Paul Ryan is a true believer. Here's how he celebrated Rand on her 100th birthday.
PAUL RYAN (2/2/2005): The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand. ... I grew up reading Ayn Rand and it taught me quite a bit about who I am and what my value systems are, and what my beliefs are. It's inspired me so much that it's required reading in my office for all my interns.
Now, requiring Ayn Rand for interns fits perfectly with her message that you should work for free and think exactly the way your boss tells you to.
And, you can see the Randian influence in Paul Ryan's own work of Ayn Rand fan fiction, the Republican budget.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
It's just as readable as Atlas Shrugged. Just as good as Atlas Shrugged, he rewards job creators by cutting their taxes, and teaches society's parasites self-reliance by cutting health insurance that would treat their parasites.
But just because Paul Ryan got into politics because of Ayn Rand, requires his staff to read her, and uses her philosophy in his budget, doesn't mean he likes her.
8/14/2012:
BRIT HUME: What is your view of Ayn Rand? Are you an Ayn Rand disciple?
PAUL RYAN: No. I really enjoyed her novels, Atlas Shrugged in particular. It triggered my interest in economics. ... Later in life, I learned about what her philosophy was, it's called objectivism. It's something I completely disagree with. It's an atheistic philosophy. ... Those novels I thought were interesting, but her philosophy, which is quite a bit different, is something that I just don't agree with.
See? He loved the economic ideas in Atlas Shrugged, but it wasn't until later that he found out about the book's subtle anti-religious messages. I mean, who could see the atheism buried in such coded language as:
"... that dark, incoherent passion within you, which you take as the voice of God ... is nothing more than the corpse of your mind."
— Atlas Shrugged
(audience laughter and applause)
I mean, I'm pretty sure, I mean, she could be a Lutheran! So, how important is Ayn Rand's philosophy to the Republican Party? When we return, I'll ask author and Rand expert Jennifer Burns. And in keeping with Rand's philosophy, I will be a complete jerk to her. We'll be right back.
He then sat down to talk with
Jennifer Burns.
After another Star Wars parody opening, Stephen also looked at how the RNC was trying to tell Mitt Romney's story with Ann Romney's speech.
We don't need this convention to tell us what a Mitt Romney presidency will be like. We can learn that straight from the horse owner's mouthpiece. Romney campaign manager Matt Rhoades, seen here contemplating murder, Rhoades told the Huffington Post that Mitt would model his leadership on superstar President James K. Polk. Goodbye, boring Mitt Romney, hello Polkmania! James K. Polk! Come on! One of America's 44 best-known Presidents! (wild audience cheering) There's Polk fever here tonight!
I mean, you probably know him best as the man who invented the mullet. And Mitt's campaign manager isn't the only one pointing out Mitt's Polk-ritude.
KARL ROVE (8/27/2012): He will be like Polk. ... Here's a guy who ran, he said he was going to do four things. He was going to reform the Treasury. ... He was going to lower the tariffs. He was going to resolve the Oregon border dispute. ... And he was going to admit Texas. ... He did these four things, and served one term and got out.
It's a perfect comparison, because Mitt Romney has also said he'd do four things as President.
1) You'll
2) Find
3) Out
4) Later
(wild audience cheering and applause)
Now, like Polk, Romney will continue the priorities of the Polk administration. Like slashing the bloated Tariff of 1842, or as it was called, VanBurencare. I'm sorry folks, I don't want some government bureaucrat coming between me and my whale tallow and hoop iron!
Plus, Polk invaded Mexico to annex Texas, making him almost as unpopular with Hispanics as Romney.
So folks, I am pumped about a Mitt K. Polkney presidency. Except the comparison may not do Mitt justice, because Polk was President in the 1840s. And Romney's and Ryan's positions are a little bit older than that. We'll be right back.