Republicans entertained us last night with Attorneys General who used the plural correctly (ever notice how Members of Congress have started addressing them as "General?") came on to deliver the line that rights come from God, not the government. John Thune recounted the tale of how his family farm once grew South Dakota's mightiest flag lapel pin crop. And they even came up with a speaker whose actual name was "Tad True." And he was, just a tad.
Rob Portman, Bush's budget director, showed up to complain about the spiraling debt, and of how Obama is always blaming others for his problems. And "small businessman" Steve Cohen took the stage to deliver the fifteenth repetition of the fake "we did build that" line, even though his company built it with $220,000 in stimulus money.
Tim Pawlenty told us something about regretting getting a tattoo. I never figured him for a "tramp stamp" kind of guy, but hey, maybe that's "bold" nowadays. I don't know. Then Mike Huckabee confused us with lines about Old Uncle Sugar, and accusing President Obama of supporting post-natal abortion, or something.
Condi Rice actually delivered the best speech of the night, which made Paul Ryan something of an anti-climax, which they softened by putting New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez on in between, making us forget about Condi. Ryan rambled around for a while, cocking his head and thanking his mom for stuff, then told us about his rockin'-ass iPod, went a little Randian on us, and then blew us away with his "SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!" exit!
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