Listening to Romney's speech last night, I couldn't help but shout conclusions to his idiocy. Follow below the squiggle for snarky retorts. This is part one.
Mr. Chairman, delegates. I accept your nomination for President of the United States of America.
thanks for holding onto it for me, McCain.
I do so with humility, deeply moved by the trust you have placed in me. It is a great honor. It is an even greater responsibility.
and one which I am owed. tithe your presidency to me, the money-god of utah. or massachusetts. or michigan. but NOT kenya. No one thinks i'm from there.
Tonight I am asking you to join me to walk together to a better future. By my side, I have chosen a man with a big heart from a small town. He represents the best of America, a man who will always make us proud – my friend and America’s next Vice President, Paul Ryan.
this is true, ryan is a great representative of the america that values faith over facts. They have faith obama is the debbil, facts be damned.
In the days ahead, you will get to know Paul and Janna better. But last night America got to see what I saw in Paul Ryan – a strong and caring leader who is down to earth and confident in the challenge this moment demands.
the challenge being 'lie outright to the electorate'. Way to step up, Paul.
I love the way he lights up around his kids and how he's not embarrassed to show the world how much he loves his mom.
But Paul, I still like the playlist on my iPod better than yours.
mine has audio of rich friends discussing which top 40 bands they're members of. you just have little
songs.
Four years ago, I know that many Americans felt a fresh excitement about the possibilities of a new president. That president was not the choice of our party but Americans always come together after elections. We are a good and generous people who are united by so much more than what divides us.
When that hard fought election was over, when the yard signs came down and the television commercials finally came off the air, Americans were eager to go back to work, to live our lives the way Americans always have – optimistic and positive and confident in the future.
That very optimism is uniquely American.
and since the GOP can't resist pulling the rug out from under optimism and good cheer, we decided instead to oppose everything obama proposed, even if it was OUR IDEA FIRST. You're welcome, you niave hopey-changey voters. you almost got fooled into thinking congress could function. you're welcome.
It is what brought us to America. We are a nation of immigrants. We are the children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren of the ones who wanted a better life, the driven ones, the ones who woke up at night hearing that voice telling them that life in that place called America could be better.
it can be better, now that we aren't purely electing the oldest crotchety white guy every time...
They came not just in pursuit of the riches of this world but for the richness of this life.
Freedom.
Freedom of religion.
if you are christian
Freedom to speak their mind.
just not about romney's taxes, or his business experience at bain. or his term as governor of massachusetts. or that he's a registered lobbyist.
Freedom to build a life.
but not to make decisions about whether you expand that life to include children. hint:
if you don't, your marriage is a sham.
And yes, freedom to build a business. With their own hands.
using public roads and education. and maybe a SBA loan and some tax credits.
This is the essence of the American experience.
but not mine. i inherited, chumps.
We Americans have always felt a special kinship with the future.
personally, i like it because the facts are still up in the air in the future.
When every new wave of immigrants looked up and saw the Statue of Liberty, or knelt down and kissed the shores of freedom just ninety miles from Castro’s tyranny, these new Americans surely had many questions. But none doubted that here in America they could build a better life, that in America their children would be more blessed than they.
because obama made america into a shithole. luckily, the GOP wont let your brown kids into this mess.
But today, four years from the excitement of the last election, for the first time, the majority of Americans now doubt that our children will have a better future.
It is not what we were promised.
white people, you were promised unlimited upward mobility, and I will restore that mobility so that you can see it used on me, a white guy. you're welcome.
Every family in America wanted this to be a time when they could get ahead a little more, put aside a little more for college, do more for their elderly mom who’s living alone now or give a little more to their church or charity.
since i'm not going to help with your wages, i'd suggest not building that car elevator this year. you know, save a little.
Every small business wanted these to be their best years ever, when they could hire more, do more for those who had stuck with them through the hard times, open a new store or sponsor that Little League team.
lucky for you, the GOP thought putting one more black guy out of work would be a better use of three years.
Every new college graduate thought they'd have a good job by now, a place of their own, and that they could start paying back some of their loans and build for the future.
obama told your parents not to help you and stole your blind trusts! That bastard!
This is when our nation was supposed to start paying down the national debt and rolling back those massive deficits.
that the GOP accrued through the same policies i advocate.
This was the hope and change America voted for.
and got, by and large. but
we can change that...
It’s not just what we wanted. It’s not just what we expected.
It’s what Americans deserved.
You deserved it because during these years, you worked harder than ever before. You deserved it because when it cost more to fill up your car, you cut out movie nights and put in longer hours. Or when you lost that job that paid $22.50 an hour with benefits, you took two jobs at 9 bucks an hour and fewer benefits. You did it because your family depended on you. You did it because you’re an American and you don’t quit. You did it because it was what you had to do.
...to get through 3 years of do-nothing lawmakers trying to sabotage a presidency
But driving home late from that second job, or standing there watching the gas pump hit 50 dollars and still going, when the realtor told you that to sell your house you’d have to take a big loss, in those moments you knew that this just wasn’t right.
But what could you do? Except work harder, do with less, try to stay optimistic. Hug your kids a little longer; maybe spend a little more time praying that tomorrow would be a better day.
also, start electing white guys again. clearly all this mess is because we bucked our 'greatest traditions of american leadership'...
I wish President Obama had succeeded because I want America to succeed.
but not so much that i want obama to actually, you know, succeed. i mean, c'mon, I've been running for this office since before he was a senator. His success makes this election suck for me, and i'm rich so that's unfair.
But his promises gave way to disappointment and division. This isn't something we have to accept. Now is the moment when we CAN do something. With your help we will do something.
Now is the moment when we can stand up and say, “I’m an American. I make my destiny. And we deserve better! My children deserve better! My family deserves better. My country deserves better!”
just as i deserve the presidency and you deserve to eat crumbs that fall from my golden plates!
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thanks for reading. i'll get the other part up later today.
12:04 PM PT: Part Two:
http://www.dailykos.com/...