I know you want us back. Really, I do.
I get that you're sincere in that. I know you think that you've got our best interests at heart.
But, I've been checking out myself, getting some help, and as it turns out...
Our relationship Just didn't work, Republicans. And unless you change, it isn't going to work.
(Apologies on the flip.)
Let's start with the lying. I mean really, the lying. You lied about everything. You wouldn't admit where you were spending your money, and pretended that it didn't need to be put in the budget. Then when it was put on the budget, you claimed that it wasn't your fault.
That's not fair, and you know it. But then you lied again. You kept saying how great everything was when you were in charge, when it really wasn't. You keep talking about how we all had money, when really it was just you and your friends who were out till all hours, blowing our surplus on your little tax cut parties. And then you lied about them too.
And then you lied about the unimportant things. Look, it doesn't matter what you did in high school, or how popular you were. Nobody cares about that now. What matters is what you are doing for us now, and as always, you're lying about that or sidestepping the issue.
I could forgive that. I did forgive that, for almost thirty years. But then you started cheating on us. Oh, you say you aren't, but we've seen the huge amounts of gifts that you mysteriously have, that you keep saying were just from domestic friends. But you won't talk about who they are. We never see these friends. You are hanging around with those multinationals an awful lot. The way they hang all over you, what are we supposed to think? Are we supposed to just pretend that we don't see them.
I don't think we'd even really have a problem with them. It's not like we're jealous. Hell, if you shared some of what you get around with us, maybe we'd enjoy spending time with those folks too. Did you ever think of that? Or is the idea of sharing, just too kinky for you?
We just can't trust you right now. Sure not everything is great with who we've got. There are issues. There'd be considerably less of them if you didn't keep slashing the tires of every proposal we try to get started. Seriously, this petty sabotage isn't going to make us think less of anybody except YOU. I know, I know, it's all his fault, you keep saying that, but we are NOT blind, thankyouverymuch.
It's not us, it's YOU. Completely you. Every time we get back into a relationship with you, you steal from us, leave us in debt, and then tell us it's our fault. All while playing the victim.
We're just plain tired of saving you, and sacrificing everything that we've built up to bail YOU out of some jam or another. It's over Republicans. It isn't going to work. It isn't going to be like it used to be. Honestly, it hasn't been the same since you first started cheating on us and lying to us. We shouldn't have given you another chance then, but we did. More the fool us.
I think we owe you a song at this point...