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Last night, Stephen Colbert looked at Fox News whining about the sound of all the applause at the DNC, and on the diversity showcased at the DNC.

BRIT HUME (9/4/2012): This hall is quite a bit smaller than the hall that the Republicans used in Tampa.  And the result is that the noise you hear from the delegates is much magnified, naturally.  In addition to that, the Democratic planners here have cranked the volume on the sound system up to the absolute max.  So that when you're in the hall — and a number of the network anchor booths are open to the hall — the sounds from the floor and the platform is absolutely deafening. ... A small thing, but it's suggesting that they don't quite have their act together.
Clearly.  Clearly they don't have their act together.  I mean, I watched it, it was a cacophony of unbridled enthusiasm.  They seemed unable to mute their joy.  And I'm sorry, that volume of pleasure is just unprofessional.  I mean, the Fox News people could barely hear themselves saying it sucked.

....

And then, the headliner.  Michelle — wait for it — Obama.  Oh, I wonder how she got that gig.  Crony capitalism.  Solyndra.  Now, she came out and talked about the President's character, their life together, their children, meow meow meow.  I'm not gonna get into a lot of details about her speech, because it was very good.  Jim?

....

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (9/4/2012): Michelle Obama's speech, I thought, was a brilliant speech, brilliantly delivered. ... But I didn't buy a line of it.
Yes.  Brilliant speech, brilliantly delivered, but I don't buy a line of it.  Jimmy?  Cut me off a line of it.
MICHELLE OBAMA (9/4/2012): Barack knows the American Dream because he's lived it, and he wants everyone in this country — everyone — to have that same opportunity, no matter who we are, or where we're from, or what we look like, or who we love. ... You see, at the end of the day, my most important title is still "Mom-in-Chief."  (DNC audience applause)  My daughters are still the heart of my heart and the center of my world.
(wild audience applause)

(crying) It just doesn't ring true!  In here I can tell that's all bullshit!  Warm, soul-restoring bullshit!  Ahhh!  Romney's gotta get some better bullshit.

....

The whole evening smacked of desperation, folks.  No, no, not desperation, there's another D-word that means terrible.  Diversity.  Yes.  Everywhere you looked, there was black people, Asian people, Latinos, Jews, Sikhs, Hindus (clip of Ewoks), I think, I don't know.  And that's in the audience.

On stage, the Democrats trotted out every race, creed, color, sex, and identity, and that's just congressional candidate Tammy Duckworth.

Video and full transcript below the fold.

It was night one of the Democratic National drum circle last night, and I am sad to say it was a disaster.  First of all, it was beset with technical difficulties, starting with the audio.  All night, there was this constant buzzing roar.  It was like "hhhhhhhhh", "whoooooo", "wheeeeeee".  It's hard to describe.  Jimmy?

(sounds of massive DNC audience cheering and applause)

Yeah, yeah, that was it.  What was that?  You could barely hear the speeches.  They didn't have that problem at the Republican convention, I'll tell ya.  (audience applause)  They know how to do audio.

And Mr. Brit Hume knows exactly what I'm talking about.

BRIT HUME (9/4/2012): This hall is quite a bit smaller than the hall that the Republicans used in Tampa.  And the result is that the noise you hear from the delegates is much magnified, naturally.  In addition to that, the Democratic planners here have cranked the volume on the sound system up to the absolute max.  So that when you're in the hall — and a number of the network anchor booths are open to the hall — the sounds from the floor and the platform is absolutely deafening. ... A small thing, but it's suggesting that they don't quite have their act together.
Clearly.  Clearly they don't have their act together.  I mean, I watched it, it was a cacophony of unbridled enthusiasm.  They seemed unable to mute their joy.  And I'm sorry, that volume of pleasure is just unprofessional.  I mean, the Fox News people could barely hear themselves saying it sucked.

The sound system was not the only problem.  There were also the people talking over it.  Speeches by Deval Patrick, Kathleen Sebelius, Joaquín and Julián Castro.  Two Castros?  Can we now end the debate on whether the Dems are socialist, please?

And then, the headliner.  Michelle — wait for it — Obama.  Oh, I wonder how she got that gig.  Crony capitalism.  Solyndra.  Now, she came out and talked about the President's character, their life together, their children, meow meow meow.  I'm not gonna get into a lot of details about her speech, because it was very good.  Jim?

9/4/2012:

FOX BUSINESS REPORTER: The First Lady absolutely delivering here on every note.

CHRIS WALLACE: As you heard her delivery, it was just masterful.

BOB CUSACK, THE HILL: I think this was... I think, the speech of the conventions.

NEIL CAVUTO: She knocked this house down.

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER: Michelle Obama's speech, I thought, was a brilliant speech, brilliantly delivered. ... But I didn't buy a line of it.

Yes.  Brilliant speech, brilliantly delivered, but I don't buy a line of it.  Jimmy?  Cut me off a line of it.
MICHELLE OBAMA (9/4/2012): Barack knows the American Dream because he's lived it, and he wants everyone in this country — everyone — to have that same opportunity, no matter who we are, or where we're from, or what we look like, or who we love. ... You see, at the end of the day, my most important title is still "Mom-in-Chief."  (DNC audience applause)  My daughters are still the heart of my heart and the center of my world.
(wild audience applause)

(crying) It just doesn't ring true!  In here I can tell that's all bullshit!  Warm, soul-restoring bullshit!  Ahhh!  Romney's gotta get some better bullshit.

Arg, shake it off!

The whole evening smacked of desperation, folks.  No, no, not desperation, there's another D-word that means terrible.  Diversity.  Yes.  Everywhere you looked, there was black people, Asian people, Latinos, Jews, Sikhs, Hindus (clip of Ewoks), I think, I don't know.  And that's in the audience.

On stage, the Democrats trotted out every race, creed, color, sex, and identity, and that's just congressional candidate Tammy Duckworth.

CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE TAMMY DUCKWORTH, D-IL (9/4/2012): My name is Tammy Duckworth. ... My father served in the Army and the Marine Corps. ... My mom is Thai and Chinese. ... I became one of the first Army women to fly combat missions in Iraq.
Duckworth.  Female.  Disabled.  Thai.  Chinese.  And a veteran?  That's not a convention speaker, that's Diversity Voltron!

I'll tell ya, the ultimate sign of the Democrats' desperation was all the signs.  Whether the message was moving forward, or not moving backwards, or just loving the First Lady, these audience signs seemed to materialize out of nowhere.

What the...??  Oh sh.... (gets rid of sign)

Stephen then mocked the media for counting the number of tweets made during Michelle Obama's speech.
He then had another Sport Report segment about the NFL referee lockout.

Meanwhile, Jon covered the security and the diversity at the DNC with John Oliver.

Sam Bee and Jason Jones then interviewed DNC delegates talking about being inclusive, right before they made derogatory comments about teabaggers, hillbillies, gun-owners, and evangelicals.  Sigh.
Stephen spoke with journalist Michael Grunwald about how Obama's stimulus actually was much more helpful than people realize, and Jon spoke with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), which went long.  Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2

Originally posted to BruinKid on Thu Sep 06, 2012 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by DKOMA and Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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