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Welcome to Thursday Coffee Hour. This is an open topic thread so help yourself to the goodies and sit a spell and let us know what is on your mind. Today I am thinking about what it is like to be responsible.

With the death of my brother I am now the oldest sibling in my family. I have always been the only girl so that came with special responsibilities. My younger brothers are leaving it to me to get the house ready to sell. I am responsible for cleaning out my parent’s and brother’s house. I am going to be responsible for trying to clean up the financial mess my brother made of everything.

You know something? It sucks having to be the responsible one. One brother helped me out and stayed as long as he could. One brother has M.S. and can’t come out and help. The other brother was out of work for seven months and didn’t have the money to come out. My niece has three school age kids so she couldn’t stay. She is falling apart any ways because of her Dad’s death. She is going through the guilt of not being able to save him even though there was nothing she could have done. So I have to hold her up and keep her going.

I have decided when everything is done and over with and the house is sold I’m taking off for England to see my friends and enjoy myself. I’ve been through Hell the last couple of years and when I get done being responsible I’m going to go have some fun.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (7+ / 0-)

    "A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." Oscar Wilde

    by michelewln on Thu Sep 13, 2012 at 12:58:38 PM PDT

  •  I wanted to reach out and extend my condolences (5+ / 0-)

    on your recent losses.  Here's hoping you find the strength both emotionally and physically to get through this time and take care of what needs tending to with your family's affairs.

    I live in another state from my dad who is currently in great health even though he just turned 82 last week.  However one never knows what will happen.  We have agreed that if the house became too much for him to handle or it was dangerous for him to live by himself, he would go into assisted living.  My mom passed away in 2007 so he's been on his own since then and has done very well for himself.  We have all estate, DNR and medical proxy paperwork filled out and on file with all of his doctors just in case something unexpected and catastrophic should happen.

    One day he will be gone and even though I have an older brother he has never been reliable.  My folks didn't include him in their will except to say that they don't want him to have anything because he'd proven himself to be unreliable and untrustworthy.  So that leaves it all to me including doing what you're currently doing now.

    You're task is a huge undertaking and the idea of you going to see friends in England sounds like a great idea.  You'll probably be needing to get away quite badly by the time everything is taken care of on the family front.

    Take good care of yourself at this time,
    DES

    Is anybody listenin' ? - by Tori del Allen

    by Dumas EagerSeton on Thu Sep 13, 2012 at 02:46:56 PM PDT

  •  condolences (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    michelewln, Navy Vet Terp, DJ Rix

    Interestingly, this is a topic around our dinner table nearly every night lately.  Responsibility.  My wife and I have a young daughter.  We have always tried to teach her about the responsibilities we have as humans, as citizens, and community members.  She is currently learning American history in school and the concepts and consequences of American freedom keep coming up.  Our freedom to believe what we want, our freedom to say what we want, our freedom to act in ways that benefit ourselves only. In other words our freedom to engage in Rands "enlightened self interest."  

    Now our daughter is quite young, but she gets freedoms certainly.  Interestingly, SHE is the one that brought up the idea that responsibilities limits these freedoms.  True, there is no law stating you have to be responsible, except where it comes to taxes and stuff. But there is a responsibility placed on us at a deeper level she argues - and I am quite proud of her for this.  For instance, we support our local church.  A large portion of its money goes to local charities and the church is a good way of finding the needy and getting the help to them they need.  It is our responsibility because they are our responsibility.  Or how about this - Say you are a member of a church that truly believes that gays are bad (our church does NOT follow such a doctrine).  Yes, you have the right to say hateful and hurtful things - but these can, and do, lead to other members of the community physically harming people - teens that are gay or questioning and have little defense of their own.  We have the right to make movies that belittle another's religion when it is different from or own, but what of our responsibility to consider the effects of that movie on others - both intentional and unintentional.  Or when you are a country sitting on hundreds of tons of nuclear weapons, you may be entitled to the right of believing what ever you do with these weapons is ordained by God, but what of our responsibility to act in a fashion that seeks to understanding the causes and effects of world events before we press the button?  Are we entitled to our opinions, or are we entitled only to an informed opinion?

    In some cases this is very clear.  Like when you must take responsibility for a departed loved ones affairs (above), or yelling fire in a crowded movie theater when there isnt one. In some cases it isnt so clear so we look to theological and philosophical guides.  Interestingly though most world religions - Christianity included - are very, very clear about what our responsibilities are.  In the case of Christianity (I choose this only because I am the most familiar with it) we are constantly reminded to consider responsibilities above all others.  Responsible for our behavior as it effects others.  Responsible for our speech, our beliefs, our own self view, as it would impact another human life.  Indeed, in Christianity, that responsibility trumps even the responsibilities to the religion itself!  (I could quote verses here but wont - readers here probably know more than I do).

    Accepting those responsibilities, for those near and those not so near, IS the spark of God in us humans - no matter what name he goes by in your holy writing with very few exceptions.  And, I believe, it leads us to a better version of ourselves. And, I believe, that even though we all must fulfill our human needs of blowing off a little of this responsibility from time to time - with a quick trip to England for instance, once we really accept the responsibilities of caring for our fellow man (or woman), we can never truly put it down again.                

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