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Here's a roundup of today's news about the Mitt Tape, the leaked tape of Mitt Romney addressing a $50,000-per-plate fundraiser by, of and for the very rich. Yes, the release of this one tape has become a big enough thing that it requires a "roundup," mostly because it consists of Mitt saying stupid things at two-minute intervals for the better part of an hour. It's like a standup routine, except not funny. Or funnier. I forget which.

Today saw the release of the full tape. Mitt had argued that a release of the full tape would exonerate him: As it turns out, he did not know what that word meant.

  • Mitt's ability to handle crisis is once again called somewhat into question by his campaign's six freaking hour delay in responding to the tape. Americans being attacked in Libya? He'll put out a statement condemning them and the president before the smoke has even cleared. Someone leaks a tape of Mitt being a jackass? Tthat'll require six hours of study before getting back to you. Sheesh.
  • When Romney finally pops up to defend himself, he says his remarks on how 47 percent of America will be voting for the other guy because they're moochers were "not elegantly stated," but otherwise stands by them. I can see why that answer took six hours to think up.
  • Other lovely sentiments expressed in the tape: That he thinks Obama has too much "magnetism" and "charm" to conduct foreign policy properly.
  • ... and that the Palestinian people have "no interest whatsoever in establishing peace."
  • ... and that if presented with something like the Iranian hostage crisis, he would "work to find a way to take advantage of that opportunity"—which seems an especially telling answer given the Romney campaign's eagerness to exploit the events in Egypt and Libya.
  • ... and the time he went to China to buy a factory, and why they have barbed wire around it.
  • ... and that the reason you don't see much of Ann Romney on the campaign trail is because they "don't want people to get sick of her."
  • Embattled idiot Todd Akin declined to say whether Mitt Romney should bow out of the campaign. When you've got Todd Akin being asked questions about your political viability, things have gone horribly, horribly wrong. But you can bet Akin's enjoying this.
  • Just a little reminder: While Romney is going on about how lazy and coddled 47 percent of America is, it's entirely possible that Mitt Romney himself was one of the very wealthy Americans who managed to pay zero income taxes in 2009. Release the returns, Mitt!
  • It turns out the wealthy Wall Street tycoon and "old friend" of Romney who hosted the event is also known for his wild parties. As in, "orgies"? Ah, the lifestyles of the rich and famous.
  • The conservative response coalesces around "yeah, but this one time, in 1998, Barack Obama said something that we don't like, so take that!" Despite the notable handicap of this being something very few people will give a flying damn about, this is apparently deemed a sufficient enough response that it manages to make it into Romney's talking points by the time of his late afternoon interview on Fox News.
  • The other half of the conservative response? We meant to do that. Or, rather, what Mitt Romney said is exactly right, and more conservatives should say it. According to Rush Limbaugh, this is a "golden opportunity" for conservatism, and it's "time to stop pretending." Here's hoping.
  • The Republican governor of New Mexico is not happy:
    Asked if she was offended by the remarks, “[Gov. Susana Martinez] said New Mexico has many people who are living at the poverty level and their votes count just as much as anyone else.”
  • Finally, John McCain weighs in. He compares the current Mitt fiasco to his own declaration during the 2008 financial crisis that "the fundamentals of our economy are strong", those heady days when McCain "suspended his campaign" to go do something-something in Washington, an episode that earned him widespread scorn and mockery. So chin up, Mitt—the guy who got trounced by Obama four years ago doesn't see this as a big deal. It may even be good news for John McCain!

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