From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
It's Okay To Not Make A Change
An ad I'd love to see. Thanks, RNC, for the inspiration:
Announcer: Mitt Romney entered the 2012 campaign promising big ideas to strengthen the economy, put more people back to work, and bring change to Washington.I'm Billy in Portland and I approved this message. Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
So what are Mitt's big ideas?
Corporations are people…47 percent of Americans, including veterans, seniors and the disabled, are moochers…the middle class should pay a higher tax rate than the rich…the Israeli-Palestinian peace process is hopeless…scrap Medicare in favor of health care coupons…send the uninsured to already-crowded emergency rooms…make students borrow whatever money they need for college from their parents…add trillions to the deficit by giving even more tax cuts to the wealthy…remain dependent on dirty energy for the foreseeable future…maybe even prepare for war with Iran.Today Republicans and Democrats agree: Mitt Romney tried to be the candidate of competence and vision...a man you could trust and respect. He tried so hard. He really did. And you tried hard to trust him and respect him. But it just didn't work out this time. Mitt's just not ready. And that's okay.Mitt tried. He really did. But it just didn't work
out. America, it's okay to not make a change.
Yes, it’s okay to let go of Mitt Romney in favor of the candidate with a proven record of leadership, accomplishment, optimism and a vision for a brighter future.
Mitt Romney tried. Bless his heart, he tried his best and gave it a shot. But his best just wasn't good enough this time. And it's okay to not make a change. On November 6th, re-elect President Barack Obama.
Who knows? Maybe Mitt Romney will be ready next time.
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Note: Newsrooms across America report a shortage of films at 11. Film at 11.
By the Numbers:
Weeks 'til the 2012 general election:
10 9 8 7 6!!!
Days 'til the Berklee Beantown Jazz Festival in Boston: 2
Number of the 13 forecasting models created by "eminent political scientists" that predict an Obama victory: 8
(Source: American Political Science Association via USA Today)
Percent of voters who find Obama and Romney, respectively, more trustworthy: 50%, 44%
(Source: USA Today-Gallup poll)
Overall annual amount spent on fish & game activities in Maine: $1.4 billion
Percent of Mainers over 16 who hunted, fished or watched wildlife last year: 49%
(Source: U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service via The Portland Press Herald)
Liters of beer consumed last year during Oktoberfest in Munich: 7.5 million
(Source: Der Spiegel)
Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
I think, going forward until Nov 6th, Romney should simply shut up. No answers on any position. We know that the base will vote for him and as of now we only expect a living creature with enough digits in the WH. Let the Romney camp and Romney STFU.All together now: 1…2…3… Nooooo!
---Commenter draggin at RedState
Puppy Pic of the Day: My kitteh has informed me that resistance is futile…
CHEERS to the cutthroat bastards of the progressive netroots. So yesterday this is what my email inbox looked like:
From: Netroots Nation You Have Been Outbid!Gurgleblurrrg!!! Stop outbidding me, please, in the annual Netroots Nation Fall Online Auction. It pisses me off. The action continues for a couple more days (they extended it a couple days because of Yom Kippur), and here are some of the goodies up for grabs:
From: Netroots Nation You Have Been Outbid!
From: Netroots Nation You Have Been Outbid!
> Suites at the official Netroots Nation-affiliated hotels in San JoseProceeds go to help fund the Netroots Nation convention (San Jose next June) and its
> An iPad signed by Howard Dean> A Keith Olbermann talking bobbleheadSigned by the Goddess herself
> Autographed photos from Van Jones, Paul Krugman and Elizabeth Warren
> A gigantic apple spice cake (gluten-free!)
> Chess lessons
> A 4,000-pic digital photo album
> Autographed copy of Lizz Free or Die by Lizz Winstead
> Jewelry, art, home-baked items, political collectibles and more
CHEERS to a sure sign you're losing. Here's a little unwritten law about campaigning: boasting in front of a cheering crowd that you're absolutely going to win the election is GOOD, but boasting in a one-on-one interview with a journalist that you're absolutely going to win the election is BAD. The former is a way to fire up your base, the latter is a feeble attempt to beg your entire party apparatus to PLEASE not abandon you. Here, I'll give you a quick example:
Mitt Romney insisted he's going to win the presidency---despite polls showing him losing ground to President Barack Obama in battleground states. In an interview with NBC News' Peter Alexander, the Republican presidential nominee rejected the idea that he's failed to connect with voters anxious over issues like high unemployment and the struggling economy. "We're going to win. There is no question in my mind. We're going to win."In the distance, the fat lady sips tea to warm up her vocal cords.
P.S. Things are so bad now that Paul Ryan has been tasked with begging his audiences not to vote for Ron Paul. Pathetic.
CHEERS to G-d's Amazing 25-Hour Miracle Diet. The Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur starts at sundown (which in Maine is, like, 5 O'clock now) and continues through tomorrow. According to C&J's go-to guide, Torah Tots:
one of these over your head.
Pretty sure it's the chicken.
Even when Yom Kippur falls on a weekday, Yom Kippur is a Shabbat, no work can be performed on Yom Kippur. It is well-known that you are supposed to refrain from eating and drinking (even water) on Yom Kippur. It is a complete, 25+ hour fast beginning before sunset on the evening before Yom Kippur and ending after nightfall on the day of Yom Kippur. The Talmud also specifies additional restrictions: washing and bathing, anointing one's body (with cosmetics, perfumes, etc.), marital relations and wearing leather shoes.The holiday is a somber one during which Jews confess their sins and seek forgiveness over the course of a day. That's why I'm not Jewish---I'd barely get started before the closing buzzer went off.
JEERS to stupid people tricks. A man jumped off the monorail at the Bronx Zoo and got mauled by a tiger. Everyone's still alive. The man suffered punctures and a broken ankle, and said he wanted to be one with the tiger. His health insurance will pay to patch him up, and thanks to Obamacare they won’t be able to deny him coverage for having a pre-existing condition. Which I believe in this case is a disease called being an idiot.
CHEERS to Great Moments in Democracy. On September 25, 1789---back when everything was still in black and white---Congress adopted twelve amendments to the Constitution and FedEx'd them to all 50 states for ratification. Ten of those amendments became the Bill of Rights. Had this same event occurred in 2012, the Republicans would've re-written them to please ALEC, Grover Norquist and the Koch brothers, threatened a filibuster and waited for the Democrats to "meet in the middle." But my point is: Ha Ha! They wore funny grampa socks back then!
Five years ago in C&J: September 25, 2007
CHEERS to beachcombing with Barack. After Senator Obama and I spend some quality time making a White House sandcastle today at a Maine beach, he'll make a stop at the Portland Expo building at 5 O'clock to explain why Mainers are superior to all other life forms (hint: L.L. Bean boots). It's quite possible he could secure my endorsement today. If he can convince me that his commitment to intellectual laziness is genuine, I'll consider him a soulmate. Otherwise I'll still be leaning Republican.
JEERS to making us look bad. Fidel Castro recently gave his first TV interview in months, and the AP describes him as "gaunt but lucid." Which one-ups the guy we got running our joint at the moment.
And just one more…
JEERS to eerie similarities. I come here not to bash Ann Romney, but to figure out who she was channeling when she said, repeatedly, that politicking is "hard work." I mean, it sounds so familiar. But where have I heard that before? Where??? Gahhhh!!! Oh, yeah…the nightmarish vision I just had means it's coming back to me now:
And therein lies the difference between Republicans and Democrats. Republicans complain that "It's hard work!" while Democrats boast that "We're workin' hard!" Funny dat.
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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"We’re a nation of people dependent on Cheers and Jeers, and that is what Bill in Portland Maine gives us.”