Skip to main content

Last night, Jon Stewart had a hilarious segment noting that while some trends would indicate that Obama should be losing, he is running against Mitt Romney, who Jon then compared to Charlie from Flowers for Algernon.

In an ordinary election involving a stagnant economy, global unrest, and the typical incumbent President would be at an enormous disadvantage.  Unless....
9/23/2012:

SCOTT PELLEY: Does the government have a responsibility to provide health care to the 50 million Americans who don't have it today?

MITT ROMNEY: Well, we do provide care for people who don't have insurance. ... We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care.  And different states have different ways of providing for that care.

Unless!  Normally he would be in trouble, unless an incumbent President is running against a guy who just appeared to suggest that we don't need a new health care plan for uninsured Americans, because we have emergency rooms!  And, like, they're open all night!  They're like 7-Eleven's... (audience laughter and applause) but splattered in blood and feces.  Ah, whaddaya gonna do?

....

I swear to God, what is happening to Romney?  It's like he's Charlie from Flowers for Algernon.  And the serum is wearing off.  (to audience)  Yeah, read a fucking book!  (audience laughter)  Here is... really, you almost heard the disappointment in the audience there.  They just went like this, "Oh, I'm going to have to look that up!"

Here's Romney making a defense of his low personal tax rate just two months ago.

MITT ROMNEY (7/29/2012): My view is I have paid all the taxes required by law.  I don't pay more than are legally due.  And frankly, if I had paid more than are legally due, I don't think I'd be qualified to become President.
"I mean, heck, if I overpaid my taxes, who knows what else I'd overdo?  Instead of pardoning one turkey, I might pardon all the turkeys!"

So anyhow, paying more than the legally required amount of taxes would disqualify one from the presidency, that was two months ago.  Flash to this weekend.

JIM ACOSTA (9/22/2012): According to that 2011 return, Romney donated $4 million to charity, but only claimed a deduction of $2.25 million.  He reduced his deduction, and in essence paid more in taxes, the campaign said, to conform to his earlier estimate that he had paid a 13% rate in 2011.
"Oh Charlie!  Oh Charlie!  Oh Charlie, you're fading on us Charlie!  First we lost Algernon, and now you, Charlie?  The election's around the corner, and you can no longer complete a maze that just months earlier, you designed yourself!"

And whatever's happening to Mitt Romney, it is happening fast.

MITT ROMNEY (9/19/2012): I know that there are some people who believe ... that if you simply take from some and give to others, that we'll all be better off.  It's known as redistribution.  It's never been the characteristic of America.  Just... a tape came out a couple of days ago with the President saying yes, he believes in redistribution.  I don't!
"Oh come on Charlie!  You can do this, Charlie!  Remember, redistribution is socialism, Charlie.  You gotta remember!  It's only been four days, Charlie.
MITT ROMNEY (9/23/2012): So what I do in my Medicare plan for younger people coming along is say this.  We're going to have higher benefits for low income people and lower benefits for high income people.
THAT'S FUCKING REDISTRIBUTION!!!  (wild audience cheering and applause)  That's what you just said!  It's what you just....  Don't you understand that?  Don't you get that?

"Oh, right.  You don't get that.  Not anymore.  We ain't teachin' Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney's teachin' us."

Video and full transcript below the fold.

It's moves like these in an election season that you would think would be crushing Obama's re-election chances.  And yet they are not.  Why, you ask?  It is the subject of tonight's new segment, Barack Obama Is The Luckiest Dude On The Planet.

In an ordinary election involving a stagnant economy, global unrest, and the typical incumbent President would be at an enormous disadvantage.  Unless....

9/23/2012:

SCOTT PELLEY: Does the government have a responsibility to provide health care to the 50 million Americans who don't have it today?

MITT ROMNEY: Well, we do provide care for people who don't have insurance. ... We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care.  And different states have different ways of providing for that care.

Unless!  Normally he would be in trouble, unless an incumbent President is running against a guy who just appeared to suggest that we don't need a new health care plan for uninsured Americans, because we have emergency rooms!  And, like, they're open all night!  They're like 7-Eleven's... (audience laughter and applause) but splattered in blood and feces.  Ah, whaddaya gonna do?

Now, that, what he just said is an amazing and unappealing policy statement, which, on its own, would perhaps level the field for the incumbent President.  But apparently, leveling the field isn't good enough for Massachusetts Republican Mitt "up until I was running for President in the Republican primary, I believed fervently in the exact opposite of what I just told CBS's Scott Pelley" Romney, which is also a terrible nickname.

MITT ROMNEY (3/3/2010): Look, it doesn't make a lot of sense for us to have millions and millions of people who have no health insurance, and yet who can go to the emergency room, and get entirely free care, for which they have no responsibility.

MITT ROMNEY (11/14/2007): When they show up at the hospital, they get care, they get free care paid for by you and me.  If that's not a form of socialism, I don't know what is!

"The uninsured being cared for in emergency rooms is irresponsible and socialist, and I am totally cool with that, if that's how your state wants to deal with it."

You see, whatever his missteps are as a candidate, Barack Obama's surging in the polls, because the closer we get to the election, the dumber Mitt Romney appears to be getting.  Here he is, touting his economic plan... (interrupted by audience cheering and applause) settle down.  (to audience)  Really?  Is that how you want to win this thing?  The other guy just tears his ACL?  That's how you wanna win?

Here's Romney touting his economic plan at the start of his campaign last year.

MITT ROMNEY (9/5/2011): My economic plan lays out how I will ultimately get government to shrink, grow our economy, balance our budgets, so that investors in new jobs and enterprises will have confidence in America. ... It's about 150 pages with 59 different policy ideas.
59 policy ideas!  150 pages!  11 herbs and spices!  99 bottles of new beer on the wall!  It's a total...!  Now here he is touting his economic plan just eight months later.
MITT ROMNEY (5/17/2012): If we win on November 6th, there will be a great deal of optimism about the future of this country.  We'll see capital come back, and we'll see — without actually doing anything — we'll actually get a boost in the economy.
This is the businessman candidate, he's gone from having a 59-point economic plan to — poof — magic!  (audience laughter)

Don't worry, all this country needs is a little shot of Vitamin Mitt.  It's like he read The Secret.  I don't need a plan, let's just put positive vibes out in the universe and watch it....

I swear to God, what is happening to Romney?  It's like he's Charlie from Flowers for Algernon.  And the serum is wearing off.  (to audience)  Yeah, read a fucking book!  (audience laughter)  Here is... really, you almost heard the disappointment in the audience there.  They just went like this, "Oh, I'm going to have to look that up!"

Here's Romney making a defense of his low personal tax rate just two months ago.

MITT ROMNEY (7/29/2012): My view is I have paid all the taxes required by law.  I don't pay more than are legally due.  And frankly, if I had paid more than are legally due, I don't think I'd be qualified to become President.
"I mean, heck, if I overpaid my taxes, who knows what else I'd overdo?  Instead of pardoning one turkey, I might pardon all the turkeys!"

So anyhow, paying more than the legally required amount of taxes would disqualify one from the presidency, that was two months ago.  Flash to this weekend.

JIM ACOSTA (9/22/2012): According to that 2011 return, Romney donated $4 million to charity, but only claimed a deduction of $2.25 million.  He reduced his deduction, and in essence paid more in taxes, the campaign said, to conform to his earlier estimate that he had paid a 13% rate in 2011.
"Oh Charlie!  Oh Charlie!  Oh Charlie, you're fading on us Charlie!  First we lost Algernon, and now you, Charlie?  The election's around the corner, and you can no longer complete a maze that just months earlier, you designed yourself!"

And whatever's happening to Mitt Romney, it is happening fast.

MITT ROMNEY (9/19/2012): I know that there are some people who believe ... that if you simply take from some and give to others, that we'll all be better off.  It's known as redistribution.  It's never been the characteristic of America.  Just... a tape came out a couple of days ago with the President saying yes, he believes in redistribution.  I don't!
"Oh come on Charlie!  You can do this, Charlie!  Remember, redistribution is socialism, Charlie.  You gotta remember!  It's only been four days, Charlie.
MITT ROMNEY (9/23/2012): So what I do in my Medicare plan for younger people coming along is say this.  We're going to have higher benefits for low income people and lower benefits for high income people.
THAT'S FUCKING REDISTRIBUTION!!!  (wild audience cheering and applause)  That's what you just said!  It's what you just....  Don't you understand that?  Don't you get that?

"Oh, right.  You don't get that.  Not anymore.  We ain't teachin' Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney's teachin' us."

So that's why President Obama is the luckiest dude on the planet.  Although, you have to wonder, watching Romney, how the hell did this guy even get the nomination.

RICK PERRY (11/9/2011): It's three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone.

NEWT GINGRICH (1/25/2012): We will have the first permanent base on the moon.

RICK PERRY (11/9/2011): Commerce, Education, and... the, um, what's the third one there?

MICHELE BACHMANN (9/13/2011): Her little daughter took that vaccine, that injection, and she suffered from mental retardation.

RICK PERRY (11/9/2011): Commerce, Education, and... uh, the, uh... um, um...

HERMAN CAIN (11/14/2011): OK, Libya. ... President Obama... (pregnant pause) supported... the uprising.  Correct?

RICK SANTORUM (2/27/2012): President Obama once said he wants everybody in America to go to college.  What a snob!

RICK PERRY (11/9/2011): The third one, I can't.  Sorry.  Oops.

(wild audience applause)

Oh.  Right.  That concludes our segment, Mitt Romney Is The Second Luckiest Dude On The Planet.

We'll be right back.

Meanwhile, Stephen covered Romney's airplane window gaffe, and how conservatives are now whining about the polls being biased against them.
He then promoted his NEW book coming out next week!
Stephen then noted how the ratings have increased with these NFL replacement refs, so the free market has spoken.
Stephen interviewed gold medalist boxer Claressa Shields, and Jon had two segments with King Abdullah II of Jordan, which went long.  Their fascinating discussion about Iran and the Middle East is here unedited in three parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Originally posted to BruinKid on Wed Sep 26, 2012 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site