I have been somewhat confused for several months on some really non issues and then again maybe they are real issues. You be the judge. I think soul searching is relevant to us all. What is important and why? I am not talking politics here, I may seem like a rambler but I do have a point.
My husband had a heart attack back in March.been hospitalized many times and came up missing more than once, He has acted somewhat strangely since we moved to Florida in my opinion with his obbsessive behavior of taking things apart and leaving a mess. I am talking about old computers, old electronics, things that do not work and probably never will again but just IMO creating havoc in my dining room and of course the bedroom where most of the music recording equipment is.
I have spoken to VA about how it looks like early dementia to me but I have no faith at all in the VA in Florida. Worst healthcare in the United States, I have thought about getting a storage shed for the back but met with resistance. I have pleaded to please get that junk off the table so we can eat. It is met with resistance as it is some sort of
rebellion due to the fact he complains that people eat whenever and can't get the family together for a meal.
I have tried but it is difficult when you have a teenager who grabs a bite and has online classes and trying to graduate this year. Me, I get caught up in work and he sleeps at really odd times. We just eat after I cook and sometimes it was at the table and sometimes not. What does it matter? We all have family time..Maybe too much. The kids don't want to be bogged down with constant input day in and day out. Music..Music..Music and other things that are not interesting to them or me.
My husband keeps dragging in old computers or cabinets or whatever and is constantly never finishing a project. He is expanding here lately. I end up getting really frustrated and angry about a mess. I cannot stand it. I get angry but say little because when he is in this frame of mind to him it is an attack. He now has started piddling in the yard and staying up for days on end with endless projects in the yard and will never let anything be OK. Everything has to be replanted, mowed, pulled up or rearranged. That is OK because it is outside and actually looks better except the Cedar trees he had my son cut limbs off half way up the tree, His thinking to me is so unorganized that I can't grasp it. He is piddling. Tinkering. I will not let it become hoarding,,,But IMO he is very close to hoarding electronics. I am talking wires and junk that is antique. 8 tracks, old old...things to be disassembled and just put in the dining area or bedroom. I buy groecries and have to sit the bags on the floor to put up because that table is covered. Now he has started taking light bulbs out of the bathrooms to save money because he is tired of telling everyone to turn off the bathroom light. What does it matter? That little bulb is not running up the bill but him keeping the AC down to 73 does. I actually called him Mitt the other night, and he got pretty angry about that.
He has totally quit going to church. That is not like him at all so I suspect someone has said something about his behavior. I feel, he feels we are in the great depression yet at a whim will disrupt the banking account on a whim. Buy something, forget about it and I have to go back and cancel the order. There is no way he knows what he has strewn and what is good or not.
I talk to doctors and therapists and they are non concerned. I try to talk to him and he gets angry. Angry enough that the rage is intense and you can see it, I know what is happening. He is trying to stay busy and trying to accomplish and with his health it turns to chaos and he is trying to figure it out. He forgets, loses track of time and I get no help whatsoever with the mental health at the VA. If I just live with the tinkering I have a little peace but only until he decides to start a new project and he wants us all to particiapte. It is hard. The little one loves the tinkering but the teenager is like me..We have to clean things up. Does it matter? As long as he is not wandering off, should we just accept this kind of behavior? Should it matter that we are inconvienced to the point of pulling our hair out so he is stable? Last night our teenager had her boyfriend over and my husband wanted her in the room to test the microphones. He doesn't go to me anymore because I won't participate. I ignore, It is sad and it is frustrating.
I am at my witt''s end because I am thinking of talking him into going to Phoenix with DaNang for awhile and maybe DaNang could get him into the Arizona therapy program.
I don't know anymore. We live here as a unit. We all need out time and he remidns me of someone who is methed out with the tinkering and staying up all night but he is not doing meth or anything else. I wonder if the meds are crossing up and causing that effect but who would change anyting since we have the sorriest VA and mental health facility in the world. I don't get it and I can't change it.
I went with this kind of behavior with my Dad with early dementia. I have seen this type behavior with my Daddy and wood before he was diagnoised with alzheimers. I mentioned this to his doc but she asked three questions and stamped OK on the computer. How? He has a method to remembering certain things....He totally loses memory in other areas. When being tested he knows how to give correct answer and fake it. I just don't know.
Does it matter about us? Should I be happy he is tinkering and expecting us to pick up a pretty heavy load? Does it matter? It is beginning to.