If the now well documented reports that Romney has been practicing a host of #ZINGERS in order to "create a moment" during the first Presidential Debate as a way to staunch the swing state hemorrhaging of his Campaign.
Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August. His strategy includes luring the president into appearing smug or evasive about his responsibility for the economy.The problem that Romney has is that his campaign and his attacks against the President - particularly on the economy - are just Flat. Out. Wrong..
They're based on myth. They are Delusions. And you know what's really not ..not.. NOT.. Funny?
When someone shoots off a #zinger and everyone in the room doesn't accept the premise, or worse yet - Groans - in response to a factless cheap shot.
Can you just imagine how this is going to play out?
Take My Economy, Please!
Mr. Obama just can't get no respect!
Don't let Obama borrow your wallet, he'll do to it what he did to Medicare!
Hickery, Dickery, Dock...this Government is sucking my.. heh Heh Heh.
Are you going to Apologize for America again, Mr President? Don't bother - We already know "your sorry".
Why don't you try putting congress in your air-tight car top dog carrier, Mr. President - it worked for me.
Have you left any Welfare Waivers lounging around the House lately without sending them to work, Mr. President?
Don't you wish you could say "I. Love. You. Women!" Mr. President?
So you say you want to lower the corporate tax rate and close loopholes Mr. President? Um, so do I. Which ones? I'll tell you when you need to know. (After the Election)
How 'bout those good parts of Obamacare?
Yeah, everything goes so much better with a little Dressage, Mr. President.
Why don't you Love America, Mr President?
Where were you really born, Mr. President?
How are those so-called Free Elections in Egypt working out for you, Mr. President?
You've Created Jobs? Where have all the School Teacher, Firefighter and Police jobs gone, Mr President? (Oh, yeah right - See Republican Governors & Congress about that!)
Where's you Jobs Plan, Mr. President (Whattahamean sitting in Congress under Rock put there by Paul Ryan?)
I'll let you see my taxes after I see your college transcripts Mr. President.
Since you only offered $4.5 Trillion in Deficit Reduction Mr President, while I'm offerring about $8 Trillion in tax cuts with additional Defense Spending that is of course revenue neutral - why don't you show your math, then I'll show mine? (heh heh, After the Election!)
Hey, Mr. President - aren't you missing an Ambassador? That Arab Spring's Eternal doesn't it? Bet you wished you were a strong leader and had squashed that down with mightly MittFrontation don't cha?
And now that I've got you on the ropes, Mr President - why don't you just concede so I can go about the business of checking "President" off my bucket list - and allow the economy to roar forward without actually doing anything.
You know who I'd like to Fire, Mr. President? - You.
To the Romney-ites I'll bet these are Hum Dinger Zingers!tm, but to the rest of the public? Not so much. If Romney and his campaign existed in the real world they could slam about with a one liner about him Drone Striking GrandMa or possibly reaching behind his ear and going Hah, Got your "Public Option!"
But he's not gonna do that. We know he's not gonna do that. Anything he could really slam Obama with that is TRUE - he can't use. He can't say it.
He can't. Go. There.
So he's stuck where he is, floundering in a Sea of #Clintwood - only this time the chair isn't emply.
He'll be standing Right There.
This President isn't an empty suit that you can fill up with your worst fears and fantasies.
He's Flesh And Blood. And he can #ZingBack, with the best of 'em. Anyone else thinking Correspondant Dinner!?
If these are the waters Romney wants to swim in - he's in way over his head! He's about to get what Seth Meyers got that night. And Seth is a Professional at the #Zingers!
So far watching the Romney campaign careen like a Mr. Toad Wild Tea Party ride down the ideological turnpikes has been quite a show. Sort of like Caught On Camera without the quick blur editing - or seven second delay - to keep you from inadvertantantly seeing the really dirty disgustion bits sprayed across the highway.
If Romney comes into this debate with a warmed over Henny Youngman Act, if he thinks he can win the right to Presidency with a game of Dozens with the sitting leader of the Free World.
Dude - you're so gonna get PWND!
I'm bringing lots of Redenbacher, you?