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It's down to the wire, now, and Mitt's brain is unable to absorb much more advice from his soon-to-be-fired campaign advisers. Unaccustomed to seeking or following the advice of anyone from the Lower Classes, it has to be especially galling to have these Useless Consumers of Oxygen telling him, Mighty Mitt, how to conduct himself in the debate. The cheek!

To simplify matters, advisers have opted to create a simple mnemonic device to help Mitt remember the many bits of advice that they've hurled at him like confetti in a wind tunnel over the past few weeks. By converting it from paragraphs and pages of explanatory text to simple childhood rhyming schemes, they hope that Mitt will remember at least a few of these career-critical hints.

You must be bright
You must be brief
Do not say things
Beyond belief
Please try to smile
And do not smirk
Or snicker like
A pompous jerk
If questions turn
To RomneyCare
Take credit and
Move on from there
If you are asked
About your plan
For tactics in
Remind the viewers
You will win
Repeat the surge
Crank up the spin
Your tax plan will
No doubt appear
Among the questions
You will hear
"Why do the rich
Get off Scot free?
While others face
More poverty?"
Remind the folks
That it's not cute
Obama wants to distribute
Nice people's wealth
And give it to
The shiftless poor
Not folks like you
Steer clear of Bain
Or jobs you've slashed
You'll wind up bloodied
Bruised and bashed
Your Cayman funds
And Swiss accounts
Wll keep you from
That needed bounce
If you mis-speak
Do not freak out
Demeanor's what
It's all about
Don't gnash your teeth
Or roll your eyes
And please do not
Don't speak of envy
Of your wealth
Or questions on
Your mental health
I'd leave your kids
Out of the fray
And skip cute stuff
That Ann would say
Don't brag about
Your many homes
Do not sing songs
Or quote from poems
And when you go
On the attack
Please don't point out
Obama's black
Work in the zingers
That we wrote
They're in the pocket
Of your coat
If no one laughs
Do not get mad
We'll simply run
Another ad
And when it's done
Get on the bus
And please oh please
Don't fire us!

Originally posted to Indigo Kalliope on Mon Oct 01, 2012 at 07:58 PM PDT.

Also republished by Readers and Book Lovers.


What one thing will Mitt remember?

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