We all know it's coming, but what will it be?
1. Arrive by golden helicopter.
2. Admit he produced "Bumfights" DVD series.
3. Use 19th century ethnic slur to refer to the Irish.
4. Erupt in a stream of filthy, pent-up-for-decades profanity.
5. Absentmindedly strangle a kitten.
6. Lapse into his native tongue: fax machine screech.
7. Discuss his governing philosophy using simple, clear language.
NOTE: Read "The Big Money," which is about sexual fantasy, fashion, World War II trivia, drunkenness, betrayal, the Spider Demon in Doom, and a love story involving cat sitting. Kindle it, or Nook that sucker.