No one loves an affable wealthy twit more than we do, right?
How we've enjoyed following the antics of G.O.P. Presidential Candidate Governor Mitt Romney as he bungles his way through life alienating friends and supporters and making a hash of the most basic tasks. Nary a day goes by that Governor Romney doesn't demonstrate that wealth and common sense have no correlation. In fact, he might be walking proof that wisdom and wealth are inversely proportional.
Governor Romney's missteps put one in mind of another bumbling rich guy, who always has to have his fat pulled from the fire. Fortunately for him, he's got the help of the wisest most intelligent worker to be found. Of course I am referring to Bertie Wooster and his exceptionally handy valet Jeeves.
Wooster and Jeeves are the early 20th century invention of P.G. Wodehouse.
You might recognize them from the PBS show "Jeeves and Wooster" with Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. Or you might know Jeeves from the search engine. Wooster is a member of the English upper class. He is idle and shiftless. Most if his time is spent partying, helping one friend or another woo a girl or tricking some rich older relative into supporting one of those enterprises. In the fictional world it's Wooster's job to make a complete hash of things, and Jeeves' job to smooth things over and save the day.
Mitt Romney is the Republican Party's candidate for the Presidency of the United States. It is his job to alienate as many people as he can while still pretending to want to become President. There is no egg-headed genius waiting in the wings to save him.
(image Talk Radio News Service - 2012)
Both Wooster and Romney use lies and deceit to get what they want. Both come from money and expect everything to be handed to them. Neither could figure his way out of a paper bag.
Here's the game:
We have two contestants:
Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
Willard Mitt Romney
Below the squiggle of socialism will be presented various scenarios.
Your job is to decide which of the two contestants is the culprit.
The Summer holidays have arrived, and our hero fancies a bit of a ramble. With car packed to the gills, he is ready to set off for adventure, when a relative insists that he bring along a beloved pooch. (one can never say, "no," to Aunt Agatha, nor to Ann) No amount of hemming or misdirection can keep the doggie out of the mix, so our hero must find a way to get his gear and the dog to the place of relaxation. A flash of inspiration hits! He decides to strap the dog to the roof of the car! The family is made happy and our hero can go on holiday as planned. Hijinks ensue.
Who is described in the story above? Is it the doddering dimwit whose sole concern is for his own comfort and needs or is it the fictional character from the Wodehouse stories?
While studying at school our protagonist becomes smitten with a young lady. They hit it off so well that they become betrothed then married. With a young bride under roof, our shiftless buffoon feels it only appropriate that he provide support for them both. Not wanting to do any actual work, and unable to con his family out of the funds, he hits on a scheme to sell of various items of value in order to continue their life of ease, while not lifting a finger. Labor is for losers.
Is it the disingenuous doofus from the monied set, or Jeeves' fictional employer?
As a child of wealth, our subject has access to the circles of power that most of us never see. Regardless of the fitness of revealing secrets to persons of poor discretion, money grants access. In this scenario 10 Downing Street is the locale of the antics. Imagine the looks of chagrin on the faces of the U.K.'s top diplomats as our fumbling little rich boy makes an ass of himself and embarrasses a nation by revealing a secret meeting with top British intelligence officials. It's hardy-har-har for us as our hero blows the cover on the hush hush.
Who done it at Downing, he who thinks "diplomacy" is a craft involving turning your university degree into a placemat, or the character played by Hugh Laurie on TV?
At a posh luncheon held in his honor, Mr. Snooty Pants goes on a tirade against the working class. He doesn't pull any punches as he lets his friends know that he thinks anyone who isn't a part of the monied set a worthless wastrel. But the joke's on our guy this time! Everyone can hear him! Sadly it doesn't look like even the man's man of men's men could save him this time.
Who's looking down his nose at the whole world? The crass and condescending cretin or Good 'ol Bertie?
Cookies! Who could mess up eating cookies? How about an upper class twit, like Bertie or Mitt?
In this outing our man finds himself out in the country facing down some little old ladies. Having heard such lovely things about him from friends and relatives, the ladies decide to bake our man some cookies. Rather than graciously receiving them, and eating them like a good chap, our man insults the cookies and insults the ladies.
Who's got egg on his face now?
The Self Serving Sniveler or that one guy with the valet from those books?
Scenario one: Mitt Romney from "Family Vacation and Torturing the Dog" -1970s
Scenario two: Mitt Romney from "We Struggled So When Young, Having to Sell Off Bits of Our Stock Portfolio" - 1960s
Scenario three: Mitt Romney from "Bloopers Abroad; How Not to Impress the World" -2012
Scenario four: Mitt Romney from "47% for Nothing" - 2012
Scenario five: Mitt Romney from "You Baked these? Yech!" -2012
How did you do?
Update: Thank you all for the comments and for playing along.
I should give a shout out to PBS and our local public libraries where we can all go to read books like the Jeeves series at will.
http://www.pbs.org/ They introduced many of us to Bertie and Jeeves.
http://www.ala.org/... This is the Public Library Association