Mitt's debate performance and the news of the past week has left many chroniclers with a sudden onslaught of nausea, projectile vomiting, and carpal tunnel syndrome. If this miscreant is elected, we'll find ourselves stripped of our coverage for these ailments, and all the other illnesses and injuries that his reign of error has caused.
Covering his innumerable flaws is a tough job, so this time around, your intrepid diarist is imploring you to lend a hand by adding your own poetical observations. It takes a village to document their idiot!
Here's your next installment of flaws:
A is for Ann; every time she opines
It's just more admonitions; more kvetching, more whines
B for Big Bird who's no use to ol' Mitt
He's got plans to be roasting Big Bird on a spit
C, Constitution: Mitt gave it full props
To check off the list of Right-wing photo ops
D for debate skills - no answers? Just lie!
It's clear that this worked, but the question is: why?
E for electorate: will they be fooled
Or will the turn tables, so Mitt's the one schooled?
F, foreign leaders who are not impressed
With Mitt's hasty judgments: he's failed every test
G, gender gap, or should I say "abyss"
Mitt's bullying manner scared many a Ms.
H, halloween, where this year's top disguise
Will be Mitt's wild hair and those strange, beady eyes
I, independents: were they really swayed?
Or simply put off by Mitt's lying charade?
J for job numbers; they're driving Mitt mad!
He cannot be happy unless they look bad
K for his kids who Mitt claims told tall tales
Like father, like son: what a family of "fails"
L is for Lehrer who let Mitt run wild
Like somebody's sugar-amped two-year-old child
M is for money; Mitt's rambling raves
Were aimed at rich donors whose checks he still craves
N is for notes; the debate rules say "no"
It seems that our Mittens did sneak them in, though
O for Obama, with much on his mind
Did not do so well (but folks sure are unkind)
P for the polls that show Mitt earned support
And flip-flopping's now an Olympian sport
Q is for quick, Mitt's machine-gunning rant
Did he try some caffeine or a stimulant plant?
R, rapid fire: Mitt's blustering blast
Of lies and misstatements left us all aghast
S for Sununu, whose vicious remarks
Like shrieking dog whistles elicited barks
T is for taxes; where are those returns?
We still need to see them (teh hubris, it burns!)
U, unemployment, Mitt prays it will rise
This mornings new numbers brought tears to his eyes
V, voter fraud, looks like GOPers were caught
Thinking "this is so easy! The race CAN be bought!"
W for the wonks who now think Mitt's their man
While Obama was only a flash in the pan
X for excuses for Mitt's endless lies
You know when he's lying: he's blinking his eyes
Y for YouTube, if you Wednesday's show
It's there for your replay (but please - just don't go)
Z is for zingers, that rapier wit
But comedic timing's a mystery to Mitt