Today, in an exclusive interview, David Axelrod revealed that President Obama is preparing some "zingers" of his own in anticipation of his rematch with Mitt Romney.
"Yes, I can confirm the rumors that for the next debate, we will be employing a strictly "all zinger" strategy!
Axelrod indicated to me that people really don't give a crap about policy details, so they figured they might as well give this a try for the second debate.
"What do we have to lose? If we lose, we're all still rich, so fuck it, we're gonna let it all hang out this time!"
"Obviously, our first debate did not go as planned", a surprisingly upbeat Axelrod told us.
"However, we feel that this new "all zinger" strategy that we are going to use is the best way to communicate with the american people."
"By just sticking with the "zingers", people will not have to think too much. We'll just try to keep 'em laughing and in a good mood, and hope that takes us across the finish line."
"We realize now that everybody hates when President Obama tries to explain things, so we're just gonna keep things light, give 'em what they want."
Axelrod did provide us with a few tantalizing tidbits on the types of things we might expect from the Prez. next time around.
"Well, we did get a lot of great feedback on the presidents "Al Green" impression, so I think were going to reprise that, but we're going "all in" this time and just have him sing the whole song! We might even have him break into it during one of Romney's answers to annoy the shit out of him!"
"Also, we're going to challenge Mr. Romney to a round of "Your Mama" jokes. We've brought in Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy to coach Mr. Obama on how to sound like a more authentic, angry black guy! We know this has been a problem for the president, so who better than Chris and Eddie to get the president on track? Also, we've got our hands on some old VHS tapes of Richard Pryor, so the president will be checking those out too."
"You know, two can play at this "zingers" game", Axelrod said. "Why should Romney be the only one that gets to have any fun?
Agreed, Mr. Axelrod, agreed.