Skip to main content

pen on paper: 'Dear diary'
 
Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.

These commoners continue to confound me. Of all the things my campaign has focused on over the last few months, now it is firing a large television bird that is gaining the most attention? I have already clearly explained to them that we will need to fire that bird in order to pay for the required tax cuts for job creators, by which I mean myself. If we do not fire large swaths of people, we will not be able to create jobs, and the number of people who will need jobs will be much greater after we have fired them all so it make sense to fire as many of them as possible in order to create those jobs.

Wealthy Americans have no use for improperly tall television birds. I have watched that show before, and found it boring, pedantic and entirely implausible. Why do these obviously lower class residents not simply eat the large bird? Why are unidentifiable creatures allowed to live in garbage cans—is there no law enforcement at all, in America? And C should not be for Cookie. C should be for Capitalism, or perhaps for Credit Default Swaps. At the least we ought to be teaching these irritatingly perky little urchins about proper wealth management techniques.

My apologies, Mr. Diary, I am just reminded of how misguided these commoner units are. In better news, my post-debate experiment in forgoing all sleep continues. So far everything seems to be going smoothly.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site