We said good bye to my beloved father last weekend. My brother and I eulogized him. That was a tough spot of writing and delivering, but a labor of love. One must choose one's words carefully out of a lifetime of memories and love, be brief enough not to push a sympathetic audience too far.
Writing his eulogy, I was compelled to sort out the things my father did best. There were several, but in the end his greatest talent was his refusal to be haunted by his yesterdays or his regrets, his ability to enjoy the present, and his belief in the future. When we whined and complained to him as children, and as adults, he'd often shrug and say, "Honey, that's life. Now, what are you going to do about it?"
The Postlude in his service was Frank Sinatra's "That's life." He always got misty over Frank.
So I come home from the service, and a couple days later find myself watching the debate, and feeling so frustrated and discouraged. And I was not able to overcome my disappointment immediately. But I've done it sooner than I might have before the world changed immeasurably by not having my father in it. Maybe it's true that we can't appreciate the full wisdom and impact of a good parent before they are gone, and we are left to take the measure of their life.
Follow me below the fold to discuss the way a parent's death can hopefully make you a little wiser---in all things, including politics.
I do not have my father's gift for living in the now. I'm a worrier. And it seems to me, in this community, I'm far from alone. It's interesting to consider that on this site, and I think with Democrats in general, there is little to no sense of entitlement. Democrats do not assume they are entitled to success the way republicans do. Democrats do not let go of disappointments and regrets the way republicans do. Republicans get more arrogant and aggressive in the wake of a misstep, Democrats get more worried, more fatalistic. Republicans double down, Democrats clutch their pearls.
The president has run an almost flawless campaign up till now, brilliant in many aspects. His decision to define Romney early and brutally will have no small part in his victory, and yes, I absolutely think he'll win. (This is hard for me to say, practicing.)
Yes, Democrats have enjoyed weeks of good news, and worried ourselves through a lot of it. Then comes our first big disappointment, our first big loss, and BOOM! The predictable explosion of Democratic heads as our lack of any sort of entitlement to the reasonable truths of the world---like the idea one bad night does not obliterate months of a strong campaign---puts us in a world of despair.
I totally count myself in this group, I too was way too devastated by Obama's performance. Expressed my disappointment here in no uncertain terms the night of the debate. But then, the very next day, my better angel, perhaps fueled by my father's spirit in me, took over. Much more quickly than she usually does.
It's not a matter of making excuses for the president. It's not a matter of denying the reality that he had a bad night. A no good, terrible, very bad night, if we must.
We are entitled to our disappointment, and to the extent that it re-energized Romney's campaign, it's a bummer.
But even in the depths of my discouragement that night, there was a small, bright voice struggling to be heard. She was saying, don't worry, he won't let this happen again. She was saying, don't worry, no one's more pissed off about his performance than the president, and he will fix it. She was saying, don't worry, the wind is still under his wings. She was saying...don't worry.
I hear her more clearly with every day, and I think of my sweet father, and his refusal
to let his disappointments get the better of him.
RIP Dad. I know you're with me, because I'm worrying just a little less. Forward.
In honor of my Dad, the word's to "That's life."
That's Life lyrics
That's life
That's what all the people say
You're riding high in April
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top, back on top in June
I said that's life
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'Cause this fine old world
It keeps spinning around
I've been a puppet, a pauper,
A pirate, a poet,
A pawn and a king,
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself
Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get back in the race
That's life
I tell you, I can't deny it
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/... ]
I thought of quitting baby
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird
And then I'd fly
I've been a puppet, a pauper,
A pirate, a poet,
A pawn and a king,
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing
Each time I find myself laying
Flat on my face
I just pick myself up and get back in the race
That's life
That's life, and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there nothing shaking coming this here July
I'm going to roll myself up in a big ball
And die...
My my...