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Besides a chill in the air (for most of you) low humidity, falling leaves, and earlier sunsets; October brings us the spine tingling fun and anticipation of Halloween.  No one is too young or too old to enjoy this holiday.

Harris Interactive Polls conducted a survey last September that listed Halloween as American's third favorite holiday.  Not surprising was that Christmas and Thanksgiving were one and two respectively.  

Halloween ranked among the top 5 in all the polling demographic breakdown ratings:

Echo Boomers (10-34) 3rd place
Gen X (35-46) 3rd place
Baby Boomers (47-65) 4th place
Matures (66+) 5th place
All Males 4th place
All Females 3rd place
To kick off this month's spooky topics, I bring you a collection of humorous epitaphs freshly copied from tombstones designed to get you in the spirit (get it?  ha ha spirit) of the season.

The following are from actual tombstones

On the grave of a woman who died in 1984. Colorado Springs, Colorado. Her son, owner of Zeezo's Magic Castle in Colorado Springs, stated that his mother had been married to a Texan who is buried in Texas:   I would rather be here than in Texas.

Gravestone near Uniontown, PA: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, Stepped on the gas instead of the brake

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona: Here lies Lester Moore, Four slugs from a forty-four. No Les, No Moore.

Cemetery in Key West, FL: I Told You I Was Sick

Tombstone in Edinburgh, Scotland:  Stranger tread this ground with gravity.  Dentist Brown is filling his last cavity.

Ruidoso, New Mexico tombstone:  Here lies Johnny Yeast.  Pardon me for not rising.

A spinster postmistress in a North Carolina cemetery: Returned--Unopened

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:  Here lays Butch,  We planted him raw.  He was quick on the trigger,  But slow on the draw.

East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:  Here lies Ezekial Aikle  Age 102 The Good Die Young

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:  The children of Israel wanted bread  And the Lord sent them manna,  Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,  And the Devil sent him Anna

On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:  Under the sod and under the trees  Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod:  Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:  On the 22nd of June - Jonathan Fiddle - Went out of tune.

Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:  She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.

Mel Blanc tombstone
Rodney Dangerfield tombstone
.

Jackie Gleason: “And away we go.”

Frank Sinatra: ”The best is yet to come.”

Billy Wilder:  “I’m a writer but then nobody’s perfect.”

Merv Griffin: “I will not be right back after this message.”

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Here is a collection of Epitaphs from some creative minds (these are not real):

Count Dracula: "Fangs for the Memories"

Pillsbury Dough Boy:  Here lies the Pillsbury Dough Boy - He will rise again

H. Dumpty:  "I was pushed!"

Charles Borden, father of Lizzie: "Get out of her way when she's having a tizzy!"

Don Adams (known as Maxwell Smart in "Get Smart"): "Would you believe..."

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This section is for the computer geeks:

Son of SIMM: His random acts of murder (RAM) are some of the most shocking in recent memory. Hated his motherboard.

Billy the CAD:   Was the fastest drawing program in the West.

Pretty eBay Floyd: Modern-day Robin Hood auctioned faux antiques to the rich and donated the spoils to failing dot-coms.

Bugsy C++-gul -: A good coder gone bad.

Hack the Ripper: Brutally ripped MP3s and burnt them to CDs. Displayed total disregard for copyright laws.

SCSI Borden:  Gave her mother 40 Macs.

John WAN Gacy: Your child's worst nightmare: A network administrator, a basement, and a clown suit.

Originally posted to MOT - Morning Open Thread on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:30 AM PDT.

Also republished by J Town.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Good Sunday Morning, MOTliteers! (15+ / 0-)
    Photobucket

    Have a great day, everybuddy ;~D

    As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

    by JaxDem on Sat Oct 06, 2012 at 04:06:08 PM PDT

  •  Well.... (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Otteray Scribe, JaxDem, JanF, eeff

    I heard that Stewart won the debate over O'Reilly last last. I'm looking forward to somebody diarying it.

    "If this Studebaker had anymore Atomic Space-Age Style, you'd have to be an astronaut with a geiger counter!"

    by Stude Dude on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:37:26 AM PDT

  •  HAHAHAHA!! (7+ / 0-)

    That tombstone about not forwarding the message to 10 people is GREAT!! Proof, for sure, that you MUST always pester your friends with junk email.

    Great stuff, JaxDem. I really like the Rodney Dangerfield one: "There goes the neighborhood". For some folks, making people laugh is so important that they will forgo what might be considered a solemn moment to keep doing that ... for eternity.

     

    Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.

    by JanF on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:40:16 AM PDT

    •  Good Morning, Jan... (5+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      litho, JanF, DavidW, JKTownsend, Otteray Scribe

      Glad you enjoyed them.  I thought about you when I found the computer geek ones ;-)

      I see the Badgers won yesterday and my SC Gamecocks (ranked 6th) completely dominated the GA Bulldogs (ranked 5th).  What a relief of a game.  I waited until it was underway -- about 2/3 of the way through the 1st quarter -- to tune to that channel and what a surprise to see a 21 - 0 score for SC.  

      I will have to continue basking in that warmth of glory as the Jags (1-3) face the Bears (3-1) this afternoon.  ::gulp::

      The Pack are favored by a touchdown against the Colts...I'm hoping the Colts will be outta Luck again this week 0_0

      Enjoy your football today!

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:55:00 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  When I was flipping the channels, I saw your (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        JaxDem, JKTownsend, Otteray Scribe

        team was up by a significant amount and was relieved on your behalf.

        Our game started out badly with defensive lapses and (continuing) bad offense. The offense did not get untracked until the 4th quarter. I am not sure how we survive a good team, although maybe there are no good teams in the BigTen this year. We are lucky that the two teams winning in our division can't go to the BigTen Championship Game. Maybe we can back into our bowl game.

        Could you find some way to beat Da Bears? Your game may very well be on my TV because our local stations always show our division rivals games. That game will be on Fox Sports as the late game.

        Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.

        by JanF on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:17:36 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  Jackie represents goodness for me Jan... (0+ / 0-)

    in a world full of badness.  I'm sorry that seems creepy to you, but watching her career unfold has helped my perspective and attitude about things.

    "Really nice, but also very serious about his job." Jackie Evancho on President Obama 6/7/12

    by BarackStarObama on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:47:55 AM PDT

    •  BSO, I am distressed by what I have been seeing (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Otteray Scribe, JanF

      these last months.  You clearly display an obsession for this child.  

      I have a granddaughter the same age as this little girl which adds to my feelings.

      There have been two other MOT regulars or semi-regulars who have contacted me with concern about this.  One was a male and the other a female.  I was glad to have the validation to my feelings.

      It is not just Jan who is concerned and it is not just me, nor is it a case of an "old lady" clutching her pearls

      I am gravely disturbed and distressed to have watched this unfold.

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:03:14 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I think what folks have observed (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JaxDem, JanF

      is not just enjoying watching some good in the world unfold.  You seem to spend an inordinate amount of psychological energy following this child star.  My personal opinion is that her managers are pushing her to perform far beyond what a pre-teen should be doing.  Way too many appearances, instead of letting her be a kid and letting her voice develop and mature.  That part is not good for her and is not healthy.

      At any rate, there is a heck of a lot more good stuff out there that one can focus on, rather than just one pretty little girl.  You might try to look at the whole wide world for good stuff, rather than just one talented kid.  I agree with the other observations that this seems more like some kind of obsession rather than just interest.  

      Why not follow the career of people like Paul Potts or Susan Boyle?  Look inside yourself for the answer to that one.

      The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. - Sun Tzu

      by Otteray Scribe on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:21:02 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  It is a miserable cold rainy day in the Otteray. (7+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    litho, JanF, JaxDem, eeff, maryabein, DavidW, JKTownsend

    Cajun coffee is on, and I am thinking about making some biscuits, but don't feel like expending the energy.  And I don't need the bread anyway.  

    Loud noises were coming from the rear of the Jeep.  Our favorite mechanic drove it around the block, and determined the roaring noise started at about 20-25 MPH.  He suspected rear wheel bearings.  We left it with him and he said he usually worked most Saturdays.  Went by yesterday about noon and found the jeep on the rack, both halves of the rear axle pulled and the differential gear box disassembled.  Seems the pinion bearing in the differential was toast.  The big magnet inside the housing was covered with what looked like steel fur.  He was having to chisel the bearing race off the shaft.  When one bearing goes bad, that means the others are at risk, because despite the magnet, tiny shards of tool grade steel tend to get into them causing damage.  Once he got the chewed up bearing off the shaft, it was a matter of cleaning up the mess, getting bits of the destroyed bearing off the moving parts and sticking it back together.

    Now we come to the difference between taking your vehicle back to the dealer and a real mechanic.  They spent a bit of extra time chiseling the bearings off and replacing them.  If I had taken it to the Jeep dealer, they would have replaced the entire rear end assembly, which would have been a lot easier--and a heck of a lot more expensive.  Cost five hours labor and four new sets of bearings.   Beats $2,500 for a new differential at the dealer.    

    The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. - Sun Tzu

    by Otteray Scribe on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:53:08 AM PDT

    •  My coffee is perked and I have imbibed a (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Otteray Scribe, JaxDem, eeff, JKTownsend

      significant amount of it but I can't shake the cobwebs out. I overslept by an hour and what should have felt restful (getting more sleep!) has made me dumbified instead.

      My problem was that I napped during the evening college football game and that threw me off.

      A good mechanic can fix just about anything but it is easier to simply replace entire components rather than try to fix them. It is good to hear that you still have access to a good mechanic. I think they are becoming more rare.

      Good morning, Otteray Scribe!

      Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.

      by JanF on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:06:37 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  The guy who owns our mechanic shop (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JaxDem, eeff, JanF, JKTownsend

      is career Air Force (now semi-retired in the USAF Reserves)  His MOS is aircraft mechanic and certified inspector.  He can fix a B-52, a jet fighter, or your car the old fashioned way.  

      The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. - Sun Tzu

      by Otteray Scribe on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:12:53 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Good Morning, OS... (5+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Otteray Scribe, eeff, JanF, DavidW, JKTownsend

      What a shame to be hearing scary noises out of the rear of the Jeep.  I wish I could comment on the details that followed, but you seem to have written them in a language that is completely foreign to me ;-)

      I hate car woes.  I understand some things, but not a bunch.  I fear I wear a neon-like sign on my head that says "All Day Sucker" and is visible only to car mechanics.  

      Gotta keep the cars in top notch working order for that trip when the grandbaby makes his appearance!

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:14:23 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  So the diary posted immediately (6+ / 0-)

    after this one is titled "Trotsky's continuing relevance."

    Whistling in the graveyard, anyone?

    Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
    ¡Boycott Arizona!

    by litho on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:58:01 AM PDT

  •  I knew it!!! (5+ / 0-)

    New Study Finds Majority Of Bullsh*t Calls Go To Other Team:

    According to a study published Friday in the Journal Of Quantitative Analysis In Sports, an overwhelming majority of bullsh*t rulings made by NFL officials go in favor of the opposing team. “The data in our findings conclusively proved that most horsesh*t calls not only go to the other team, but also occur very late in games,” said lead researcher Dr. Alexander Ferguson
    The study, which confirmed that the majority of bullsh*t calls are game-changing decisions, also found that rulings that help your team are simply lucky breaks that would not have affected the ultimate outcome of the game anyway.
    Packers play at noon Central Time against the Colts in Indianapolis. If we can just get our offense and defense to show up on the same day, we have a chance. Rookie quarterbacks who arrive in the NFL with a lot of hype and don't do so well are scary ... because it is often just a matter of time before they "break out". I hope it is next week for Andrew Luck.

    Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.

    by JanF on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 03:59:36 AM PDT

  •  Speaking of tombstones (5+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JaxDem, JanF, DavidW, JKTownsend, emmasnacker

    Major General Sir Hector Archibald MacDonald (Fighting Mac) was goaded into committing suicide by the military establishment in 1903. There was a credible account of the King telling him it would be better for everyone concerned if he just went ahead and killed himself.  I wrote a story about him.  

    The British Army brass wanted to bring his body home from Paris, where he died, and have a hurried burial.  Word got out and 30,000 people showed up for what was to have been a small private and quick burial.  Then the people raised money and built a monument to Hector the Hero that stands over a hundred feet tall. Most Scots consider it to be a giant middle finger pointed at the Army officer corps and the royal palace.

    The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. - Sun Tzu

    by Otteray Scribe on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:09:15 AM PDT

  •  Good Morning (7+ / 0-)

    It's getting a bit nasty outside. I just heard a very loud boomer. It rained most of the night. Another one just Popped off!

    better hurry  ! Might just loose power

    Waves

    Hope your day goes well

  •  Very Good Article: (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JanF, JKTownsend, Otteray Scribe

    It's not just the economy: Why football and sharks can affect elections

    This is sad, but we're well aware of it's truth:

    IGNORANT BY CHOICE

    Ignorance makes sense for some voters when it comes to politics, said George Mason University law professor Ilya Somin.

    So...we should hope for football wins in swing states:
    'THE FOOTBALL STUFF, IT'S ALARMING'

    Voters seem to hold presidents accountable for events over which they had no control.

    One group of researchers found that incumbent presidents, senators and governors got an average boost of 1.6 percentage points if the local college football team won shortly before election day.

    The increased sense of well-being that a victory fostered among fans made them more likely to stick with an incumbent rather than vote for a challenger, the researchers found.

    The effect was more dramatic in areas where the local team had a large following. That could have implications in states such as Ohio, Florida and Michigan, which are home to successful college football programs and are likely to play a key role in determining who wins the presidency.

    "The football stuff, it's alarming," said Loyola Marymount University economics professor Andrew Healy, one of the study's authors. "It's good to know how voters actually think."

    As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

    by JaxDem on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 04:52:37 AM PDT

    •  Not surprising (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JaxDem, JKTownsend, Otteray Scribe
      The increased sense of well-being that a victory fostered among fans made them more likely to stick with an incumbent rather than vote for a challenger, the researchers found.
      When people feel good, they don't want to rock the boat.

      Although, 1.6% is statistical noise in most polls and always within the margin of error.

      Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.

      by JanF on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 05:16:42 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Great article for the hand wringers among us (4+ / 0-)

    30 Days Out: Fundamentals Still Favor Obama

    Here are the bullet points only:

    1) Voters are feeling (somewhat) better about the economy and direction of the country.

    2) Despite frustration with Obama, Romney is not seen as better able to handle the economy.

    3) Electoral map is shrinking, not expanding.

    4) Romney's image problem.

    5) The Money Gap.

    Good advice:

    When looking at polling that will come out over the next week, it's important not to obsess as much about the head to head numbers and to look "under the hood" instead. Has Romney moved ahead of Obama on the issue of who voters trust to do a better job handling the economy? Look also to see if he has improved his favorable ratings and moved the needle on perceptions of him as someone who is looking out for the middle class. After all, it's very hard for Romney to convince Americans to fire the President if they don't think the alternative will be any better.

    As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

    by JaxDem on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 05:22:04 AM PDT

  •  HA!! I just went back through the list of epitaphs (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JaxDem, JKTownsend, Otteray Scribe

    This one is hilarious:

    Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:  She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.

    Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.

    by JanF on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 05:22:37 AM PDT

  •  . (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JaxDem, JanF, Otteray Scribe, JKTownsend

    Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

    by Horace Boothroyd III on Sun Oct 07, 2012 at 06:11:09 AM PDT

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