Mom was as self-sufficient and I don’t need anyone to help me as you can get. Even after almost dying of a heart attack she still believed she could do it all and didn’t want anyone babying her. You can imagine my shock when she asked me to move in with her and help take care of her. My brother was living with her but Mom admitted that there were things that a daughter could do that a son couldn’t. Thus I started my time as a caregiver.
Mom had only loved one man in her life and that was my Dad. When he died suddenly she was bereft. The problem was that no one wanted to talk to her about Dad feeling that it would upset her. She wanted to talk about Dad and I was willing to listen.
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
One of the hardest things for my Mom was admitting she needed help. She hated the fact that her body was failing her. She hated that she couldn’t go like a house on fire all the time any more. She was depressed and felt like she was no longer the person she once was. One of my main jobs was to try and keep her spirits up. I tried to come up with new and different ways to cheer her up. One year for her birthday I gathered email messages from my friends around the country and around the world. I printed off some information from where they were sending greetings from and made her a notebook. Another year I made up a mock newsletter from the date of her birth with news of what was going on in the world on that day plus the big news item of her birth. I found a beautiful glass bird in blue and bought it for her for no reason other then it was beautiful and she loved birds. I would take pictures and print them out so she could see the changing nature when it became too difficult for her to go for walks.
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you are a caregiver you not only have to take care of the body you have to take care of the mind and emotions too. I always tried to make sure that I let my Mom know that she was still beautiful even though age had bent her once straight back and arthritis has turned her feet and fingers into swollen claws. She was still my Mom and in my eyes she would never be anything but beautiful.
Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
I love Simon and Garfunkle. Their song Bridge Over Troubled Water is a caregiver’s mantra. We take care of our loved ones. We nourish their spirit. We are their bridge.