Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.
The debate last night was a frightening experience. Truly, this Biden fellow is a madman—or a warlock? I do not know what "malarkey" is but it sounded extremely sinister. He told Mini-Mitt that he was not similar to Jack Kennedy. He absconded with Mr. Ryan's religion and claimed it as his own. He repeatedly referred to Mr. Ryan as a "congressman," despite our negotiated agreement that he was not allowed to do that. At one point immediately after the close of the debate I was briefly concerned that Biden had even physically shrunk Mr. Ryan in his chair, but it turned out to merely be an appearance by Mr. Ryan's young son, Garbanzo.
I called Mini-Mitt to congratulate him for having survived the ordeal, but otherwise, I think it best to never mention this incident again.