Setting -- Classroom, presumably after class has ended. Mitt Romney is dressed casually, yet crisply in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and high-waisted jeans. The teacher is gathering his materials from the lecture.
Teacher: Yes, Mr. Romney, you wanted to speak to me about your test?
Romney: I got an A on the test.
Teacher: No, no you didn't. Not only did you give the wrong answer, you did not show your work, so I can't even give you partial credit.
Romney: I will give you the supporting work after you give me he grade for the semester.
Teacher: No, I need it to be able to give you a grade.
Romney: I have 6 studies that prove my answer is the correct one.
Teacher: You...have...studies?
Romney: Yes. (Hands the Teacher a piece of paper.)
Teacher looks over the paper.
Teacher: A blog post by someone pledging your fraternity?
Romney: That is a bipartisan study.
Teacher: This one says it could be true if the numbers in the problem were different.
Romney: Exactly.
Teacher: A tweet from your mom?
Romney: That is totally independent analysis. Oh look, here is someone else who can back up my answer...
Enter Paul Ryan wearing a backwards baseball cap.
Ryan: (very politely) Mr. Romney is correct.
Teacher: Have you seen the test question? How could his answer possibly correct?
Ryan: Because it is net. But it would take too much time to explain.
Romney: Also, I care about everyone. 100%. I give them $30million and some of them aren't even Mormons.
Ryan : Although some have been in fatal car crashes. And now we have to go to Logic class. I have a presentation about why women shouldn't have healthcare because my wife and I nicknamed our fetus daughter Bean.
Teacher: Hey we nicknamed our fetus Peanut!
Ryan/Romney together: So an A, right?
Teacher: Well...there is another test next week...you will back up you numbers for that one, right?
Ryan/Romney: Of course. Would we lie to you?
The End