Well, it's all over but the Etch-a-Sketching, the groveling to deep-pocket donors, and the sanctimonious scolding from Queen Ann that "you people" had better stop beating up on her husband or, as [insert name of deity here] is my witness, he's going to do something you're all going to regret. I mean it. I am not kidding. This is hard! You want to try it? What. You do? Well, screw you.
Anyway... it's time once again for our Limerick Debate Wrap-Up, brought to you by Indigo Kalliope, where our entire library of poetry leans curiously to the Left. As always, you are welcome to add your own limericks to the mix, since it takes a village to fully cover the antics of the village idiot.
Candy Crowley was taking no shit
As she fact-checked the desperate Mitt
He had fire in his eyes
Spewing Benghazi lies
He did not like her comments one bit
This was supposed to be Mitt's killing blow
The remarks that would finally show
That Obama was weak
So that people would seek
Mitt the Mighty to lead them, but... no
As Obama heard Romney's attack
He ensured that the rope had some slack
Thinking "Geez, what a dope!
Now, I just have to hope
He does not have a Cranbrook flashback!"
Asked if women should get equal pay
Romney really had nothing to say
"But with flexible time
They should all see that I'm
Helping moms to wrap up their work day!"
When equality questions were raised
Mittens felt like a guy being hazed
"I've got binders - no bull!
They are truly chock full
Of great women - you would be amazed!"
As the Twitterverse carried each meme
Mitt was crushing the immigrants' DREAM
His great plan? Well, in short:
Let them all self-deport
(From Latinos emerged a loud scream)
Rising crime? Mitt was quick to proclaim:
Unwed mothers! They're really to blame!
If they don't have a Dad
Kids will all turn out bad
Joining gangs with some hideous name
But Obama (and "Big Dog" Bill C.)
Had been raised by great moms who we'd see
Both worked hard and ensured
That their values endured
(Maybe Mitt missed the clear irony)
Romney's bullying showed through all night
Interrupting and starting a fight
Like a petulant child
(With no Dad, running wild)
It was really a pitiful sight
In the wrap up, we'd hear Mitt declare
"For 100%, I do care!"
"47", we heard
Was Obama's last word
(We did not think that Mitt would go "there")
In the end, even Fox must admit
That last night was Barack's, and that Mitt
Was in over his head
Lacking any street cred
Like a two-year-old pitching a fit
In the spin room, Mitt quickly reversed
The positions that he had rehearsed
Reassuring his base
With a smirk on his face
Never grasping that he is now cursed
Still Paul Ryan cried out "My guy won!"
Sorry, "Sippy" to ruin your fun
But your big VP plans
Now have far fewer fans
Hit the road, Jack, your work here is done!
Last time 'round (we remember it still!)
Kossacks perched on an orange windowsill
"It's the end! Woe is me!"
"We're so screwed! This can't be!"
But this morning, they're filled with goodwill
Now it's your turn: you know the routine
Write some lines on what you folks have seen
I've provided a few
But it' now up to you
So go wild (if you know what I mean!)