Last night, Jon Stewart looked at Paul Ryan's fake photo op at the homeless shelter.
So apparently Ryan did wash dishes, but they were dishes set aside and left unclean, specifically so they could take pictures of him selflessly washing them, so that we — cuz we're so fucking dumb — believe that he's been caught in the act of volunteering.
Later, food was withheld from nursing home patients so that Ryan could arrive and reanimate them through the magic of applesauce. But you know what? I guess even self-aggrandizing cynical help is help the shelter welcomed.
WILLIE GEIST (10/16/12): The head of the faith-based organization told the Post no politicians have permission to stage events there. He accused the Romney campaign of "ramrodding its way into the building".
You broke into a homeless shelter to take a picture of you maybe or maybe not washing already-clean dishes! If you're going to try and manipulate people's emotions through prefabricated scenarios, put some oomph into it. That is the social contract between you and the voters. That even if you don't really give a shit about the homeless, at least give a shit about making us think you give a shit.
Don't phone in your cynicism. It'd be like Joe Biden putting on a hard hat and goggles, and then posing in front of a Cheesecake Factory, and going like, "Ah, fuck it. It says factory on the outside. Close enough."
I mean, for the love of God, I just want this to be over.
Video and full transcript below the fold.
Election Day's just three weeks away, or to put that another way, I cannot believe this thing is still three weeks away. We examine the nation's emotional state in our new segment, Please, For the Love of God, Make It Stop.
Controversy, once again, tonight on the campaign trail. Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan at a campaign stop in Georgia — I'm kidding, he was in Ohio. Is there another state other than fucking Ohio? Not in October there isn't!
Ryan, seen here in photos he for some reason signed to release for, or perhaps, these are outtakes from his Real World audition tape.
Anyhoo, Ryan was campaigning in Youngstown, Ohio, when he decided to volunteer at a homeless shelter. One little problem.
WILLIE GEIST (10/16/12): According to the charity's president, the candidate was washing pans that were already clean. And only after all the patrons had left the place.
(Jon facepalms) Do you know how hard it is to make volunteering at a homeless shelter look like a negative thing? And how dead inside does a national presidential campaign make you, that you could be handed clean dishes, and instead of saying, "Uh, you know these are clean, right?", you go, "Where's my scrubby sponge?"
But actually, there was more, as the story developed.
TAMRON HALL (10/16/12): As we understand it now, there were dirty dishes left for him that was originally reported these dishes were all clean, well now our team is reporting dirty dishes.
Great work, team. We'll have more on the status of these dishes later on in the program. So apparently Ryan did wash dishes, but they were dishes set aside and left unclean, specifically so they could take pictures of him selflessly washing them, so that we — cuz we're so fucking dumb — believe that he's been caught in the act of volunteering.
Later, food was withheld from nursing home patients so that Ryan could arrive and reanimate them through the magic of applesauce. But you know what? I guess even self-aggrandizing cynical help is help the shelter welcomed.
WILLIE GEIST (10/16/12): The head of the faith-based organization told the Post no politicians have permission to stage events there. He accused the Romney campaign of "ramrodding its way into the building".
You broke into a homeless shelter to take a picture of you maybe or maybe not washing already-clean dishes! If you're going to try and manipulate people's emotions through prefabricated scenarios, put some oomph into it. That is the social contract between you and the voters. That even if you don't really give a shit about the homeless, at least give a shit about making us think you give a shit.
Don't phone in your cynicism. It'd be like Joe Biden putting on a hard hat and goggles, and then posing in front of a Cheesecake Factory, and going like, "Ah, fuck it. It says factory on the outside. Close enough."
I mean, for the love of God, I just want this to be over.
Lewis Black then came on for a look on some news stories, like Lance Armstrong's disgraceful end.
John Oliver then had another in a continuing series of how a
Herman Cain presidency would look.
Meanwhile, after looking at some
new debate technology on CNN, Stephen talked about the
affirmative action Supreme Court case with Slate's
Emily Bazelon.
Stephen also covered the
fake Paul Ryan photo op.
Stephen talked with Newark, New Jersey, mayor
Cory Booker (D), and Jon talked with director
Eugene Jarecki about the prison-industrial complex, which went long. Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2