The real consequences on The War on Women is the every day stuff (to borrow a term from our current Veep) that shows up on the news scene. What is missing from the discussion is that this War is the longest running war in history. I think it started a few millennia ago; some say it started when Adam threw Eve under the proverbial bus with God. Since then, women have made progress. Women have more freedom to choose their spouses and careers, but it's also true that the overall disrespect for women simmers under the surface. Usually I can ignore it. Sometimes I can't.
It's still true that when a woman meets a violent crime it's most likely to have occurred at the hands of her lover, father or brother. It's still true that women earn less than men and still deal with a glass ceiling. It's still true that many believe women need (or want pdf) more "guidance" in making life decisions then men need or want. The War on Women is more than controlling our reproduction. It's more than sexual freedom. It's about seeing women as more than a vessel or merely a receptacle for sperm. It's about celebrating our intelligence and getting the opportunities to exercise our skill sets as well as self determination.
I first came across the varsity squad's "Fantasy Slut League" on the NBC sports site. They barely touched the bases as compared with the account of it on the Piedmont Patch. The gist of the league is that varsity players "scored" points on documenting (sexting?) sexual contact with draftees (female students) who may or might not have known they were game pieces. The league's game plays featured strategies that included manipulation, intimidation, gossip, alcohol and all the things we didn't like about high school. This league is typical of how (despite the lip service) we regard women. Hunters and the hunted. Although there is some implication in the write ups that some of the male players weren't entirely comfortable with the League, they still went along with it. After thousands of years of the War on Women we still find a woman's primary selling point still remains to be her pussy.
Wow, I just wrote that. The words just flitted off my fingers. They sound bitter, but I'm really just resigned to the idea that women are devalued. Maybe that's the problem - complacency. "Boys will be boys." "Girls want it." "No really means yes" You know the stuff. Thinking of sex as a scored game is not new. How many times have we gossiped about "How did he score her?" or "She's out of his league?" or "What does She see in him?" Mutual respect doesn't make it to the field of play.
The half-full part of this glass is that the "open secret" of the "Fantasy Slut League" was disclosed to a Piedmont High School teacher after the students went to a Date Rape prevention play. The empty half is that the league was in play for 5 or 6 years before "discovery". Piedmont High says the program has been disbanded, but the cynic in me wonders if it was driven further underground. The cynic also wonders if the program was known to adults who didn't see the harm of its existence. Maybe some adults knew about it didn't blow the whistle because they were concerned about the consequences in store for the players. Perhaps some adults considered the league to simply be another sex/sports scandal to be managed.
The letter (reprinted below the fleur de Kos) sent to the parents of Piedmont High School is good step. The letter lays out what happened and asks the parents to call out the wrong doing and to encourage their students to stand against peer pressure. More importantly, the letter asks the parents to model the behavior they want their teens to emulate. The cynic in me is begging me to ask the question that what if these players are modeling the behavior they see at home? in the news? on television? in movies? in video games? on YouTube?
Is it any wonder that the "Fantasy Slut League" was created when we see and hear some of the bunk coming out of Congressional mouths? Pundit mouths? Loudmouth mouths? I question the models of the Catholic church that plays a shell game with their molesting priests. I question sports coaches that cover up sexually molesting assistant coaches. I wonder which "models" these students were emulating. Is it any wonder? really? seriously? with all the mixed signals we give kids that this league was a bad idea?
The fact is the "Fantasy Slut League" has been exposed. Years ago, something like this would have been hushed up. The school is proactively dealing with it. The fact that a student felt comfortable enough to talk about it after seeing an anti-sexual harassment presentation is encouraging. Most encouraging is that the Drama teacher is creating a new drama presentation that specifically addresses the sexual harassment done under the "Fantasy Slut League's" game play. I encourage her to include a segment on how to choose an effective role model.
I'm encouraged that the league was exposed and ended. I'm encouraged to find out sexual harassment training works. Horrified that the league existed. That's sort of how I feel about the current laws drafted explicitly to affect women. Horrified that it's happening. Encouraged when some of the laws fail to be enacted. Alas, the fight is not over. I thought this stuff was settled. Reality bites again.
Important Notice from the Piedmont Unified School District
October 19, 2012
TO PARENTS OF PHS STUDENTS
I am writing to follow up on information that has surfaced recently as part of our annual "Date Rape Prevention" assembly. Every student and many parents at PHS have seen this assembly that grew out of real-life incidents experienced by Piedmont students.
We have recently heard of troubling incidents involving our students that I feel are important to share with all parents. Based on the "fantasy league" game concept, it has been reported that students on some of our Varsity Teams have set up a "Fantasy Slut League" in which our female students (unbeknownst to most of them) are drafted as part of the league. Male students earn points for documented engagement in sexual activities with female students. Although I was surprised and sorry to find out that this concept is not unique to Piedmont High School, it does not deter our responsibilities as an educational community to address it.
The Administrative staff conducted an investigation by interviewing students, parents and staff as to facts about such a league with the interest of identifying individuals involved, including student victims. We did not get any specific identification of male or female student participants. What we did gather prompted me to share information with parents so that you can be partners in reinforcing our mission to develop young people who treat each other with dignity, respect, and courtesy. Our information revealed:
General recognition that over the past 5-6 years such a league has existed in one form or another as part of "bonding" for some Varsity Teams during their seasons of sport.
Many students (male and female) were aware of it and participated.
Male and female students felt pressure to participate and/or lacked confidence to overtly stop it.
Participation often involved pressure/manipulation by older students that included alcohol to impair judgment/control and social demands to be popular, feel included and attractive to upper classmen.
A commitment from current Varsity Team members that there is none of the activity going on now (at least from this point forward).
Fear that participation in the league could have in-school discipline consequences and affect future college acceptance.
The entire Piedmont High School staff joins me in developing activities and conducting discussions to strengthen student integrity and the confidence to act in positive ways. The revelation that students expressed concern that the fallout could result in discipline and affect their college applications suggests an understanding by students that there is something wrong with the "Fantasy Slut League." While off-campus activities are not subject to school discipline, because it involves our students it involves us. At this point, because we do not have specifics about participants or victims, our focus is on education and understanding moving forward, not discipline for past activities.
Our Acting teacher, Kim Taylor, who developed the "Date Rape Prevention" assembly, is collecting personal stories from a variety of student (and adult) sources to develop a similar type assembly that addresses this issue and other related personal integrity issues. Afterward, facilitated structured discussions with students will occur in classes. We are also establishing a new meeting for athletes at the start of each season to address issues of sportsmanship, conduct, and integrity. Additionally, we will also discuss a more comprehensive way to address these issues as part of our PHS School Site Council goals.
What we are asking of parents:
The purpose of alerting parents to this type of activity is to encourage you to talk with your teen. Include allowing your student to share his/her perspective. Encourage your child to understand their personal boundaries and provide strategies how to maintain those boundaries. Support them in taking a stand in the face of activities they know to be wrong. Help them truly understand what respect for their own and opposite gender looks like. Model what you want of them. We will let you know when the assemblies are scheduled so that you can seize the opportunity to continue the dialogue.
You have heard me say "we are all in this together." We have to act in unison to help our students grow and develop into the young men and women we envision. We have an incredible group of students who are going to be tomorrow's leaders. Let us give them all of the support, education and tools they need to become who we know they are.
Please be bold in your conversations with your child. Feel free to contact me, Anne Dolid, Karyn Shipp and/or your child?s counselor if you have any questions or would like additional support. If you discover your child is in distress or has been taken advantage of, please contact the PHS Wellness Center so that we can provide him/her support.
Thank you for working with the Piedmont High School staff in providing the 360 degree support that makes Piedmont a community.
Sincerely,
Rich Kitchens and the PHS Staff