Announced this morning on Fox News and Friends: MItt Romney is proposing an audacious plan to counter the Obama Administration's refusal to address the critical shortage of mounted infantry in the nation's current defense profile. Romney spox Eric Ferngully described Romney's plan to eliminate all shortfalls of ships, horses, and bayonets (compared to 1916 numbers). The Romney Administration, on day one, will commission 15 of a new class of warships: the Littoral Dressage Ship, or "LDS", each of which will carry a division of US Army amphibious dragoons, or "AmDrags", mounted infantry specially trained to conduct landings in the Persian Gulf region, and equipped with the powerful 30-.06 1903 Springfield Rifle with bayonet to give "cold steel" to centrifuge-spinning mullahs. The elite first regiment of the AmDrags will be the "Queen Ann's Own Lippizan Raiders," trained to perfom the "airs above the ground" upon landing to shock and awe local defense forces.
According to Ferngully, the first of the LDS class will be the USS Rafalca. Existing Marine units will be assigned to the LDS class to provide muck out and horse-holding during amphibious operations by AmDrag formations.