Per my inbox, moments ago (bolded italicizations represent my inner thought bubble while reading it):
From: friend3
Hello Dear,
With Respect,
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.
(Ooh, I could use some extra cash, and this could help re-elect Obama by pushing down the 7.8% unemployment a bit further)
I know this mail may come to you as a surprise, since we have not known or written before.
Afer you receive this mail kindly contact me on my private Email contact below.
(Hmm, she's not really my type. She can't spell "after" and I'm a stickler for spelling. But I love the privacy; this is, just like conservatives said of young Palin's pregnancy, "a private matter")
introducing myself, I am Princess Sameera Michel Assemien Kassi the Only Daughter of late Chief Michel Assemien Kassi, I was a princess to him and I am the only person who can take care of his wealth.
(A perfect opportunity to push and pitch our socialist, distributionist President's master plan)
My father, He was a royal highness in my community town citizen titled him over 16 years before his death, and also economic operator, director (Manager) Company (Society) late Chief Michel Assemien Kassi. he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their business trips recetly and my mother was died on my tender Age I don’t even know her.
(Holy crap, that guy sounds like he couldn't hold a job down. Look at all those job titles.)
Before the death of my late father, He called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of $5.650,000.00 USD ( Five Million, six Hundred and Fifty Thousand US Dollars ) in a financial Bank here. deposited in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan ivory coast, that he used my name for the next of kin in depositing of the fund.
(Something looks fishy here. Why are there periods and commas interspersed among the numbers? Does she have five dollars and 650,000 cents? If so, this business deal's not gonna fly. I can barely even match Donald Trump's charitable offer from yesterday with that kind of money.)
I will need your assistance as follows:
1) To assist me in retriving this money from the bank.
2) To serve as the guardian of this fund.
3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country
to further my education and to secure a residential permit in your country.
(I'm getting a bad feeling about this. Sounds like a gold-digger. Tryina use me for my papers.)
Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account overseas.
(Never mind. That's not a bad deal. Maybe I ask Romney for advice on which overseas account to transfer the money to to avoid paying taxes on it.)
For more details reply to my private email box below: ( princess.sameera1@yahoo.com )
Anticipating to hear from you soon.
(That's a common error of diction. She should have said, "Anticipating hearing from you soon..." ah, we could work on that later)
Awaiting your urgent reply.
Regards,
Princess Sameera Michel Assemien Kassi
Note: please reply to my private e-mail box below: ( princess.sameera1@yahoo.com )
(Okay, I'm going for it. YOLO!)
Definitely the last thing I thought I'd see on here. Has this sort of thing happened to you? I'd heard about spammers and trolls but never ghost accounts that sign up to send out this sort of thing.