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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

You Make the Call!

Major October Storm or Major October Political Battle?

> Grave predictions of doom.

> Promise of brighter days ahead.

> Gobs of mud and slime flung long distances through the air.

> Donations urgently solicited.

> Non-stop, ear-splitting noise.

> Gays blamed.

> Talking heads on cable TV dissecting every detail.

> BIG URGENT THEME MUSIC!

> Fight to maintain power.

> Moves left, then right, then left, then right, then…who the hell knows??!!

> Small segment of the population refuses to budge.

> Drives people to drink.

> Multiple debates over the direction in which things are headed.

> Estimated cost: Billions.

> When it's over everyone says "Thank God!!!"

To find the answer, beat your head against a wall until it comes to ya. That worked for me, anyway.

Info & Support:
Ready.gov
Red Cross
Weather.gov

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Note: Clarice!  I can hear the screaming of the lambs.  Can you hear the lambs screaming, Agent Starling?  Does it make you feel terr…  Oops, never mind, my bad.  I'm standing on the cat.

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By the Numbers:
Weeks 'til the 2012 general election: 5 4 3 2 1!!!
Days 'til the Days of the Dead in Mexico: 2
Minimum number of polls on the Obama-Romney race in Ohio since October 15: 18
Number of those polls that show Romney in the lead: 1 (by 1 point)
(Source: TPM)
Congress's overall approval rating when they were last in session and after being gone from Washington for the last month, respectively: 13%, 21%
(Source: Gallup)
Percent of Americans who say they put up Halloween decorations: 51%
(Source: National Retail Federation survey)
Percent by which the average stock-based mutual fund has increased in value since Bush's Crash finally hit bottom in March of 2009 and Obama's recovery took hold: 124%
(Source: USA Today)

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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:

I have supported and will continue to support Sen Inhofe, my Oklahoma Rep! Obama is one sick puppy! Just because he lives a hidden Homosexual Life, is a member of the Down Low Club for Homosexual Males, and has an arranged marriage to a woman no other man would touch, doesn't mean he is allowed to force his sickness on our Nation.

---Bwhit at WND

All together now: 1…2…3… Classy!

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Shameless lobbying

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Poster for the movie The Blob
Starring in the upcoming
remake: Sandy Storm.
JEERS to The Blob That Ate The Coast.  If you're in Sandy's "cone of woe" (like southern Maine is) we hope this finds you safe, free of trees in your living room, and fully juiced up this morning.  Not much else to say at this point except a huge swath of the U.S. is all discombobulated today (and it's not over yet), and we won’t know nothin' 'bout nothin' for a while.  It's just a BIG…EFFING…MESS.  But before anyone reaches for the torches and pitchforks, I wish to point out that the following had nothing to do with this stormageddon:
Sandy Duncan, Sandy from Flipper, Sandy Koufax, Sandy Hook, NJ, Sandy Cheeks, Sandy Dvore, Sandy the dog, sandy blonde hair and sandy beaches.
As well as any other Sandys not currently engaged in the promotion of cataclysmic meteorological mayhem.  As always, the best advice is to keep track of the storm as best you can, and continue to be vigilant for the triple threat: torrential rains, fierce winds, and Republicans holding FEMA hostage until their spending-cut demands are met.  (Not necessarily listed in order of severity.)

CHEERS to a serious man taking a serious situation seriously.  Needless to say, the 2012 presidential campaign is pretty much over at this point, seeing as both camps are self-suspending their activities for at least another day.  Yesterday we got a good look at Crisis-Manager-in-Chief Obama, who gave a sober and unvarnished assessment of the situation from the White House briefing room, adding: "The great thing about America is that when we go through things like this, we all pull together."  Meanwhile, it came as NO surprise to learn---or, rather, re-learn---that Mitt Romney ain't too sweet on federal disaster management.  Moral of this story: Vote Obama---at this point your life may literally depend on it.

JEERS to living down to our expectations.  If a major storm is slamming into the U.S. somewhere, that means there will be a rude little Bible thumper blaming it on the gays.  This is a classic:

Image of Newton's Principia Mathematica
The book the gays rely on
to create their hurricanes.
[John] McTernan believes that it is noteworthy that Hurricane Sandy is hitting 21 years after the “Perfect Storm,” because 3 is a “significant number with God”:

Twenty-one years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection.  It appears that God gave America 21 years to repent of interfering with His prophetic plan for Israel; however, it has gotten worse under all the presidents and especially Obama.  Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem.  Both candidates are pro-homosexual and are behind the homosexual agenda.  America is under political judgment and the church does not know it!

Our offer still stands as it has for 2,000 years: give us our limitless Gay-use-only ATMs and we'll leave your planet alone.

CHEERS to #2.  And happy 277th birthday to John Adams, born October 30, 1735 (and now proud owner of his own snarky twitter feed.  Here are a few toasts from his colleagues:

Portrait of John Adams
Johnny B. Fussy
"He's actually insane!" (Sec. of War James McHenry)

"Sometimes absolutely mad!" (Ben Franklin)

"He is vain, irritable, and a bad calculator of the force and probable effect of the motives which govern men." (Thomas Jefferson)

Okay, well, that was fun.  Pay your respects here.  But watch your words---he still thinks the Alien and Sedition Acts are in effect.

CHEERS to the land of the Giants.  Sorry, Detroit, but it wasn't meant to be this time.  San Francisco won the World Series in straight games Sunday and brought the 2012 season to a merciful close.  Given the shitty performance of the Red Sox this year after their shitty performance last year, I've given up on baseball.  P'tooey!  I'm through with the heartache and incompetence!  At least until spring training.  Which starts in 115 days.  But who's counting?  Not me!  I'm just keeping track for a friend.  His dog ate his abacus.

CHEERS to theatre of the mind.  Seventy three years ago today, on October 30, 1938, Orson Welles' The War of the Worlds aired on CBS radio.  By using fake news reports with deadpan seriousness, the broadcast caused a panic among listeners who thought the reports of a Martian invasion were true.  To this day it's Dick Cheney's favorite bedtime story.

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Four years ago in C&J: October 30, 2008

JEERS to throwing your teammate an anchor.  A fine running mate you chose there, Senator McCain.  Sarah Palin's so over you and your anemic campaign that she's publicly laying out plans to be the chief GOP poo-flinger in 2012.  But don't be too sad, sir---maybe she'll pick you to be her vice president!

JEERS to cherry-picking.  Gee, which Gallup poll numbers will Matt Drudge focus on today?  Registered voters?  Traditional likely voters?  Expanded likely voters?  Answer: whichever ones favor John McCain most.  I'm beginning to doubt the lad's impartiality.  I intend to file a complaint.

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And just one more…

Clippy the Microsoft paperclip as a communist-hunting eyeball.
Clippy's replacement?
CHEERS to something new out of the Gates.  I honestly couldn’t tell you the last thing Microsoft released that elicited an "Ooh" or "Ahh" out of me.  (If I had to guess I'd say Minesweeper.)  So I was pleasantly surprised when news of their new Windows 8 operating system raised one of my eyebrows by a few millimeters.  It's supposed to tie in with tablets and other touch-screen devices.  I haven't taken the official virtual tour yet, but I'm impressed by one particular feature.  It's an app that let's you throw Clippy into the volcano of your choice.  Mine: Fuji.

Have a tolerable Tuesday.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

"Unable to copy him, China tries building its own Bill in Portland Maine"
---Reuters

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Poll

Who do you trust more to handle natural disasters like Superstorm Sandy?

96%7904 votes
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| 8164 votes | Vote | Results

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