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Obama cancels White House Halloween festivities. FoxNews reports: "Obama Denies Food to Children Wandering the Streets"

When Donald Trump gets to Hell, Satan's going to fake a cell phone call to get out of talking to him.

I'll buy into the idea that mustaches are masculine and breasts are feminine when those things start becoming exclusive to each gender.

Our nations brightest minds are hard at work developing new apps to distract you from actual problems.

Men, if at the end of sex, her face doesn’t look like a rorschach test, you haven’t fucked her well enough.

How do Sex Addiction meetings not turn into wild orgies?

I know I shouldn't covet my neighbor's wife, but what about her boobs? Can I just covet those?

Pretty sure every woman that’s ever slept with me and never called me back was just using me for a free hooded sweatshirt.

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