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After being off for two days because of Hurricane Sandy, Jon Stewart was back last night to talk about how government CAN work and be competent when politics is removed from the equation.

Did you know that people need government services, and they cost money?  Ask any job-creating billionaire capitalist who's been in a natural disaster.
MICHAEL BLOOMBERG (10/29/2012): New York City taxes itself and spends the money to protect us and to have the services that will keep us going, and I know of no other city that does that.  Which always annoys me when they say, "Oh, you're a high-taxed place."  Yeah, and we get something for it.
You think it's cheap to keep the Statue of Liberty's legs shaved?  It's not.  She's 200 feet tall, and she's French.  It's a big job!

But my favorite came straight outta New Jersey, whose Governor Chris Christie kicked crazy ass during the storm.  He's been one of Mitt Romney's most outspoken allies throughout the presidential campaign.  This is him just twelve days ago.

NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE (R) (10/19/2012): The President doesn't know how to lead. ... He's like a man wandering around a dark room, hand up against the wall, clutching for the light switch of leadership, and he just can't find it and he won't find it in the next eighteen days.
"Obama couldn't find a stack of old newspapers in an episode of Hoarders, I'm tellin' ya!  This guy couldn't find a container at the container store, I'm tellin' ya!  Obama couldn't lead a bunch of eels to the Sargasso Sea — their natural spawning grounds, so uh, you know.  Look it up."

But that was, of course, when America was still living with a pre-9-foot 11-inch storm surge mentality.

NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE (R) (10/30/2012): I want to thank the President personally for his personal attention to this. ... He accelerated the major disaster declaration for New Jersey without the usual red tape. ... The cooperation from the President of the United States has been outstanding. ... The President has been all over this and he deserves great credit.
Yeah, I guess he found that fucking light switch, huh?  (wild audience cheering and applause)

To his great credit, Chris Christie realized the storm was real, and that he had a job to do as Governor, so it was time to slalom down Bullshit Mountain and deal with this Obama...

... not this Obama.

Video and full transcript below the fold.

Anyway, it's been a harrowing couple of days for all of us.  Once again, a huge debt of gratitude, not only the first responders, who have risked their lives to save others — or, as they call it, going to work — but also the MTA, the power companies, the phone companies, public officials at every level, we thank you all tonight in our brand new segment, A Daily Show Tribute to Institutional Competence.  (wild audience applause)

It's amazing how once you remove political and partisan gamesmanship from a situation, performance improves dramatically!  Down the line, government's been on top of its stuff.  We're going to start with NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg — although, listen, I think we all agree, if these cups were still legal, maybe the city wouldn't have flooded at all.  (wild audience applause)  But that's not the point!  The point is, Mayor Bloomberg kicked ass at his job, and did it in two languages.

MICHAEL BLOOMBERG (10/29/2012): Por favor, quedense in sus casas.  No salir y no conducir.
All right, that may sound like what happens when you walk in on your rabbi practicing with Rosetta Stone, but when your city's flooding, that is as fluent as Antonio Fucking Banderas.  By the way, Bloomberg was talking three languages if you count the city's newest star, Lydia Callis, whose expressive sign language interpreting turned disaster press briefings into an Alvin Ailey sign language recital.

(in sign language)  I love you.  Call me.  (wild audience applause)

Awesome.  All across the region, sandy wreaked havoc on trees, communities, and political talking points.

NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO (D) (10/30/2012): There has been a series of extreme weather incidents.  Anyone, that's not a political statement, that's a factual statement.  Anyone who says there's not a dramatic change in weather patterns, I think, is denying reality.
"What you can do until reality is up to your fucking chest, do you understand what I'm sayin' to you people?"

Here's another one.  Did you know that people need government services, and they cost money?  Ask any job-creating billionaire capitalist who's been in a natural disaster.

MICHAEL BLOOMBERG (10/29/2012): New York City taxes itself and spends the money to protect us and to have the services that will keep us going, and I know of no other city that does that.  Which always annoys me when they say, "Oh, you're a high-taxed place."  Yeah, and we get something for it.
You think it's cheap to keep the Statue of Liberty's legs shaved?  It's not.  She's 200 feet tall, and she's French.  It's a big job!

But my favorite came straight outta New Jersey, whose Governor Chris Christie kicked crazy ass during the storm.  He's been one of Mitt Romney's most outspoken allies throughout the presidential campaign.  This is him just twelve days ago.

NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE (R) (10/19/2012): The President doesn't know how to lead. ... He's like a man wandering around a dark room, hand up against the wall, clutching for the light switch of leadership, and he just can't find it and he won't find it in the next eighteen days.
"Obama couldn't find a stack of old newspapers in an episode of Hoarders, I'm tellin' ya!  This guy couldn't find a container at the container store, I'm tellin' ya!  Obama couldn't lead a bunch of eels to the Sargasso Sea — their natural spawning grounds, so uh, you know.  Look it up."

But that was, of course, when America was still living with a pre-9-foot 11-inch storm surge mentality.

NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE (R) (10/30/2012): I want to thank the President personally for his personal attention to this. ... He accelerated the major disaster declaration for New Jersey without the usual red tape. ... The cooperation from the President of the United States has been outstanding. ... The President has been all over this and he deserves great credit.
Yeah, I guess he found that fucking light switch, huh?  (wild audience cheering and applause)

To his great credit, Chris Christie realized the storm was real, and that he had a job to do as Governor, so it was time to slalom down Bullshit Mountain and deal with this Obama...

... not this Obama.

Not everybody got the memo.

STEVE DOOCY (10/30/2012): Over the last couple of months, you have appeared throughout the country, Governor, on behalf of Mitt Romney. ... We hear that perhaps he's going to... Mr. Romney may do some storm-related advance.  Is there any possibility that Governor Romney may go to New Jersey to tour some of the damage with you?
You kiddin' me, Doocy?  Look at Christie.
NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE (R) (10/30/2012): I have no idea, nor am I the least bit concerned or interested. ... I have a job to do, I've got 2.4 million people out of power, I've got devastation on the shore, I've got floods in the northern part of my state.  If you think right now I give a damn about presidential politics, then you don't know me.
(wild audience cheering and applause)

If I know my state and my governor, I believe that is the point in the conversation where you are supposed to flip over a table and yell, "Prostitution whore!"

The Daily Show then took over an 8th grade student council election by inserting political strategists into the mix.
Meanwhile, Stephen also covered the aftermath of Sandy, and how it may affect the election.  He then demonstrated brilliantly why it was so incredibly stupid for Romney to claim it's better to leave disaster relief to the states.
He then offered Donald Trump an extension to his original offer from last week.  :-)
Jon talked with Jon Ronson, and Stephen talked with Lilly Ledbetter.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Thu Nov 01, 2012 at 06:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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