...which will eliminate the need for a violent bloodbath.
Election day can be a stressful time, so on Election eve I thought I'd bring some humor to my fellow Kossacks.
Enjoy.
Leonard Nimoy: The following tale of alien encounter is true; and by true, I mean false. Its all lies. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.
Kodos: My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!
Kang: The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again!
Lisa: Ralph can't be President! He's the dumbest person in the slowest reading group!
Homer: Lisa, being President is easy! You just point the Army and shoot!
Lisa: And Ralph is only eight years old! It says in the Constitution, you have to be 35!
Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the PATRIOT Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.
Homer: Ooh, the PATRIOT Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?