This is the first election I've ever experienced where I felt scared.
As an 18 year old self-identified-Democrat who voted for the first time just a few weeks ago, it's also the first election where I've really had a hand in it. I actually decided, I actually made my choice, I actually went in and filled out a ballot that meant something.
Elections have always mattered to me - I've grown up in a family that keeps up to date on politics. My parents talk to me about politics; we watch news-centric shows at dinnertime. I've always felt a responsibility to pay attention... but more importantly, feeling educated gives me joy.
So yes. I've been staying alert to the campaigns, and I've watched debates. I've listened to varying opinions from varied people, be they from the internet or in the daily setting of my high school. I've done my very best, as a young citizen, to keep informed and aware.
And if there's one thing I can tell you, it's that I'm scared.
As much as my young'un heart wants to believe that (insert your 'good will always win' cliche of choice here), I'm absolutely frightened out of my boots, because I thoroughly believe that Mitt Romney could be our next president.
Am I a sparkly-eyed optimist who believes Obama's every single move is golden? No, certainly not. I'm in no way small-minded enough or devoted enough to ignore that he had his trip-ups over the last four years and we're not in the most perfect of places now as a country and as an economy.
But let's re-visit that question the Republican party was so eager to pose.
(And, as a high school student, I'd like to point out the largest mistake my English teachers ever pointed out in the writing of a persuasive essay: never pose a question that allows your readers to come to a conclusion you don't want them to.)
"Are we better off?"
I think the more important question is "Will we be better off?", because regardless of where Obama has taken us economically and socially - although I personally believe Obama has made strides to improve both counts -, my concern tonight is where our new president is going to take us over the next four years.
Be it socially (for LGBT and women citizens), economically (for middle and lower class), or in foreign policy (for actually knowing where countries are), Romney's policies are one long tumble down a hill we've been struggling to climb for years.
Watching the election coverage tonight is like peering into a chasm. I'm scared, for my future and the future of people around me and the people I know - I am terrified.
In a way, I am regretful that my first election is such a brewing cauldron of fear and nerves. I wish it were an experience of hope and excitement, something I could be sitting here beaming about.
But the rest of me is glad I'm here. I voted in this so, so important election. This election could be the difference between rolling miles backwards, or continuing on our path forward.
I was here.
Nervous or not, trembling or not, I was here.
I'll always be glad for that, no matter how it ends.
Good luck, everyone.