Once again I'm offering talking points our GOP friends will need in the wake of last night's election results.
HOW THIS HAPPENED
1. A significant number of Latinos failed to understand that self-deportation is a
good thing, kind of like a vacation.
2. A large number of women were confused by our efforts to eradicate evils such
as abortion, contraception, equal pay, etc.
3. The Democrats really worked the inner cities, handing out condoms, IUDs,
food stamps, liquor and wacky tabbacky.
4. Jesus was too busy working on other affronts to our Judeo-Christian heritage.
WHAT THIS MEANS
1. Obama the anti-Christ will rule on Earth for another 4 years.
2. Colored people will get more uppity.
3. Additional tax breaks for billionaires may be in jeopardy.
4. Gays and lesbians will get more uppity.
5. Jesus is punishing us for letting Terry Shiavo die.
WHAT WE SHOULD DO ABOUT THIS
1. Give another $100 million to Karl Rove super-Pacs
2. Get more aging white males into the American electorate; easing immigration
laws might help.
3. Encourage Rush Limbaugh to be more forceful and critical of the President and
those uppity women.
4. Remind Latinos that the next GOP President will deport them if they don't start
Well, that's my advice. Hope they're listening.