Skip to main content

And steals all his jokes, leaving Norris a sad, broken man....well, that was already true anyway, but the jokes are below.

1) When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, Nate Silver had already assigned a 93.2% probability that he would do so.

2) Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Nate Silver is called punditophobia.

3) Nate Silver doesn't call the election wrong. The wrong election was held.

4) Nate Silver has a bearskin carpet in his room. Its really not bearskin, its Joe Scarborough's hide.

5) Republican ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Nate Silver stories.

6) There used to be a street named after Nate Silver, but it was changed because Nate predicted it would be and everyone was afraid to go against Nate's prediction.

7) There's actually a 2.5% probability that Nate Silver died 20 years ago...according to Nate Silver.

8) The latest trendline indicates that Nate Silver WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass...just because.

9) Nate Silver has already been to Mars...told the little green guys they were going to lose the election, so their civilization imploded.

10) Once a cop tried to pull over Nate Silver....but Nate knew it was coming, switched cars and the cop pulled over David Brooks instead.

11) Death once came knocking at Nate Silver's door...but Nate showed Death that it was statistically impossible for him to be dead, so Death went away sad.

12) Nate Silver knows within a .5% variance where Waldo is hiding.

13) Nate Silver's kindergarten teacher told Nate he would never amount to anything. Nate wrote a regression analysis equation and the teacher hasn't been seen or heard from since.

14) Nate Silver went into a maze... the maze realized how hopeless it was to try and confuse him and became a sidewalk.

15) There is no theory of evolution. Its just 10,000 simulations that Nate Silver allows to run endlessly back-to-back.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site