We, the people of the former American colonies, would like to offer our most sincere apology over that little misunderstanding we had 236 years ago. Had we known that we were going to be subjects anyway, we could have saved a lot of trouble and hard feelings.
We were under the mistaken belief that we would be free, sovereign citizens; we believed that our hard work would yield its own rewards without someone coming along and taking what we built in the name of "Fairness". We thought our laws and Constitution would protect us from a foreign born dictator, and our freedom to worship would prevent us from becoming a corrupt, morally bankrupt society (silly us).
Little did we know that our own free press would intentionally sabotage, deceive and withhold the truth from us in order to reelect a Socialist that still holds distain (sic)for our nation and contempt for its founding principles. Nor did we believe that there would be so many citizens dependent on government handouts that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.
Anyway, Your Grace, we are truly sorry and humbly sincerely beg your forgiveness. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us and take us back, we promise never to trade British oppression for Socialist tyranny again.
Your most humble servants,
The American People
Now my first response is, "Yes, please, take these jokers back." But then I think, England does not deserve that.
Of course, the letter is full of the usual tropes about illegal Socialist President and a country of takers, etc. Such nonsense. But it is hilarious how they are "apologizing".
(Yeah, that's French...Booyah!)
The one thing I truly find disgusting though is that the joker signed it "The American People". What the hell, didn't "The American People" just elect Obama? Oh wait, he means, you know the real "American People". Or, not people of color, not gay or lesbians, not atheists, not Muslims, not even White guys like myself who do not believe in the idea of there being a real American.
I'm sorry but fuck this guy. This guy may be the least American of us all. He hates Democracy, he hates opportunity for all, he hates equality. He hates almost everything America stands for.
But you know what, he is an American, we are all Americans. We do not all look one way or believe one thing. And our strength is in not dismissing others because they are different or disagree.
Its time for their side to grow up.