Skip to main content

2012 Electoral College map
Shocking to no one–except Republicans.
Poor, poor Republicans. They were so certain of their unskewed, non-gay math, and they're still reeling from the devastation of the completely predicted but nonetheless shocking to them defeat on Election Day. Like poor Beth Cox, a hardcore Romney campaign volunteer who was dumb enough to write "Victory Day!!" on her calendar:
She had devoted her life to causes she believed were at the heart of her faith and at the core of her Republican Party. She counseled young married families at church, spoke about right to life in area schools and became a stay-at-home mom with two daughters.

Now, in a single election night, parts of her country had legalized marijuana, approved gay marriage and resoundingly reelected a president who she worried would “accelerate our decline.”

Bless her little twisted Republican heart—she really believed Mitt Romney was going to save her from the eeeeeeeevil President Barack Obama. After all, her favorite sources of propaganda-as-news had told her he would. That's how she knew Romney's victory was all but certain; after all, she'd unskewed the numbers herself:
She turned on her computer and pulled up an electoral map that she had filled out a few days before the election. She had predicted the outcome twice — once coming up with a narrow Romney win and once more with a blowout.

Florida: red.

Colorado: red.

Virginia, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin: all red. [...]

Romney’s thorough defeat had come more as a shock than as a disappointment, and now Cox stared at the actual results on her computer and tried to imagine what the majority of her country believed.

“Virginia went blue? Really?” she said. “Southern-values Virginia?”

“And Colorado? Who the heck is living in Colorado? Do they want drugs, dependency, indulgence? Don’t they remember what this country is about?”

Cox, who is "not naïve" and "not ignorant," according to Cox, has some deep insights as to why her map didn't exactly pan out, and hopes that the party will stop being so white, stop saying crazy things about rape, and will "never again run a presidential ticket without including a woman or a minority." And since the party is pretty much all white and all male, that will totally happen. Especially if Cox is willing to set aside her "volunteering, her scrapbooking" and her "Godly life" to run for state office, as her fellow Tennessee Republicans have encouraged her to do because her kind of stupid is exactly what the party is looking for, apparently. (Come on, Beth, of course scrapbooking is really important to the fate of the nation, but your country and your party need you right now!)

And that seems like the right direction for the Republican Party to take. After the "shell-shocking" shellacking the party took on Election Day, and the so-called soul-searching it must now force upon itself to figure out why the GOP vision of America was rejected, finding more candidates like Cox—who think math has a liberal bias, Fox "News" is the best source of information, and someone had better step up and do something to save America from the gays and pot-smokers before it's too late—is definitely the best way for the party to change course and start winning back all those Americans it lost this time around.

Yeah, Republicans. Go with that.

Originally posted to Kaili Joy Gray on Mon Nov 12, 2012 at 08:45 AM PST.

Also republished by Three Star Kossacks and Daily Kos.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Bob Johnson, Superskepticalman, abarefootboy, Rolfyboy6, krwada, eeff, Pompatus, devtob, dpc, CoolOnion, paulitics, floridaprof, Texknight, hopesprings, Dube, Getreal1246, psnyder, TexDem, Damnit Janet, laughingriver, side pocket, randallt, Black Max, lyvwyr101, xxdr zombiexx, Longwing, Gowrie Gal, vcmvo2, democracy inaction, ccasas, TN yellow dog, bleeding blue, LNK, zinger99, mightymouse, third Party please, Dolphin99, irishwitch, kestrel9000, KenBee, luckydog, NBBooks, gpoutney, Dissentinator, Libby Shaw, bleeding heart, Cenobyte, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, Koleppski, Bernie68, mapman, Pandoras Box, fabucat, Habitat Vic, weneedahero, Matt Z, deepeco, US Blues, fight back, Newzie, millwood, shmuelman, gizmo59, rogerdaddy, JeffW, Involuntary Exile, bythesea, elwior, tofumagoo, Snarky McAngus, luckylizard, mellow yellow, Critithinker, J M F, litoralis, greengemini, Sarge in Seattle, Zotz, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker, papahaha, kevinpdx, PhotogHog, Larsstephens, Railfan, bronxcharlie, brentbent, trustno1, flitedocnm, sbbonerad, Crabby Abbey, BenderRodriguez, Polly Syllabic, RJP9999, gulfgal98, laserhaas, Kristina40, DiegoUK, kenwards, ericlewis0, txcatlin, fiercefilms, slice, annieli, mama jo, kevin k, thomask, BarackStarObama, KVoimakas, teloPariah, Caddis Fly, ratcityreprobate, Metalman68, googie, Chitown Kev, Mentatmark, Mathazar, Thousandwatts, Liberal Granny, OldDragon, anodnhajo, Jakkalbessie, la rocker sex chick, Eric Nelson, nellgwen, The Lone Apple, S F Hippie, a2nite, JGibson, xenothaulus, JupiterSurf, radical simplicity, Arahahex, Buckeye54, Isaacsdad, avsp, brook, Glen The Plumber, Candide08, TheLawnRanger, ForestLake, JayRaye, minnec, aresea, Bugsydarlin, bob152, IndyinDelaware, GrannyRedBird, Hey338Too, LilithGardener, JustGiaco, ChristineM, ekgrulez1, Guile Of The Gods

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site