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Part of an ongoing series of Facebook open letters written by my alter-egotist. Contains sensitive language not meant for delicate flowers.

My Dear Butthurt Republican Friends,

I have to confess. I denied it for months, but I can bear it no longer: you had me pegged. I admit it. I voted for President Obama, VP Biden, and the entire blue Democratic ticket (with only two odious choices, which I will get to later) because I wanted free stuff.

That's right. I wanted free stuff.

I wanted the free ballot. The one where my name and card they send me with my driver's license is good enough to ensure that when I get to the booth and sign my name on the ticket like I always do, I'm going to be able to walk in and cast my vote on a machine that can't be rigged to win a chess game or play PacMan. One that can't be purchased and reprogrammed by a candidate's son. I think that in the future, I'm going to get that, somewhere down the line, if not from this administration then others that come in its wake. So I voted for that free stuff. A free ballot.

I voted for the notion that corporate money doesn't have a place in politics. I think we should go right back down to the basics on this one. One person, one vote. Corporations are not people. So, I voted for that free stuff, too. As close to free elections as we can pare this motherfucker, right down to the bone. I want politicians to worry about whether or not their donation money comes from drug lords or casino moguls. Free elections.

I voted for some other free stuff. I want the freedom of making decisions about my body with the help of my doctor, and sometimes my husband, and not some politician who is way too obsessed with my vagina and any demon-spawn hellion I might one day unleash upon this world, instead of helping me find answers to, and treatment for, the current pre-existing issues with the vagina and the demon-spawn hellions I already have. It would be nice if those politicians showed a little respect for me and the only body I have to carry myself through this life. Even better if they showed my husband and demon-spawn hellions the courtesy of not killing me off, because those guys would never find anything in this house ever again. So I voted for that free stuff, I admit it. Freedom of reproductive choice without your nosy ass all up in my junk.

I voted for the free stuff like love and the security of bonding for life that happens when people get to marry each other no matter what your church thinks of it. I voted for the free stuff like the feeling of relief and a little more trust for authority people might be willing to grant when they don't have to worry about drug dogs sniffing your door frame, SWAT raids in suburbia, or being locked up for practicing botany or owning a leaf. I think that I will get that free stuff, again, if not immediately, then down the line. I imagine a world where there doesn't exist a huge prison-industrial complex whose only job is to lock up people for a leaf which has known therapeutic and fun values.

I voted for the free stuff I get knowing my mother won't be killed off by a medical voucher for private insurance on an open market that would reject a woman of her age and life experience faster than you can throw a wheelchair off a cliff. I voted for the freedom of knowing that her benefits will cover a nursing home, since I know very little about nursing. So, I admit. I voted for the free stuff of not worrying that something minor and preventable or ignorant on my part will kill my mom.

I voted for the free stuff I know I'm already getting from Obamacare. Well, we will still be paying about $500 a month for our premiums, like we do now, but I like being able to include two children on the plan instead of just one. I like the free feeling of not fearing for my kids. I like the freedom of being able to use our insurance without being denied because we've used it too much, while they still collect our premiums. I know, for that much jack I should expect an Aetna representative to come to my house and give me a monthly (censored, sex act) but then again, I don't expect the moon and stars. Adequate family coverage will do just fine. For now.

Dear Butthurt Republicans, I voted for all this free stuff and more. And I expect to get it, too. Well, except the Aetna rep.

Love and kisses,
 Joanie

P.S. I also voted for the freedom of my country to dig out of this morass without Grover Poopy-head Norquist sabotaging revenue increases. Make it so.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (6+ / 0-)

    Hortensio. Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples." (The Taming Of The Shrew; W. Shakespeare)

    by LibbyLuLu on Mon Nov 12, 2012 at 10:14:11 PM PST

  •  Please go check your other comments (0+ / 0-)

    You left an HR on a commenter in another diary, where you meant to hit the tip jar. Several people have asked that you remove the erroneous HR, and it is still there.

    I am posting this in your diary only because you haven't been back to see the 5 other comments left asking you to remove the HR from someone who didn't deserve it.

    Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. ~ Yoda Political Compass: -8.50, -6.46

    by Cinnamon on Tue Nov 13, 2012 at 04:19:42 AM PST

    •  So, can I HR your out-of-place comment? (0+ / 0-)

      Just kidding. I went to bed before the site EXPLODED IN AGONY. Hope it's fixed, now. Have a nice one.

      Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples." (The Taming Of The Shrew; W. Shakespeare)

      by LibbyLuLu on Tue Nov 13, 2012 at 06:59:35 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Wow, that was a really jackass thing I said. Sorry (0+ / 0-)

      Out of my many defenses, the pre-caffeinated portion of my moring is respectfully (fearfully) referred to as Don't Poke The Bear.

      Some weird site glitch. My apologies to Cinnamon, I didn't mean to swipe at you. I'm not even sure what happened in the first place. I meant to flag a spam post, typed I understood there was a problem, waited for a pretty good while for a reply, got nothing. Woke up to find I'd screwed somebody over. Still not actually sure whom. My apologies to the screwee---tell me your name, lover, and I'll make sure I make it up to you when I see you.

      In my defense, that I've been a trusted user for a good long little ol' while and am just now getting around to making my n00bie mistakes with it should say a little something about my respect and responsibility with HR capabilites.

      At any rate, feel free to use the messaging capabilities of the site at any time. There's no way to miss that, and it generally gets priority in reading.

      This particular diary was a concession I made for someone who couldn't share the original column on FB. I can count the number of pieces of writing I've shared here on one hand and a prehensile tail. Doesn't seem to be the market for what I do as a sometime-writer.

      Back to the woodwork!

      Again, my apologies,
      Joanie

      Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples." (The Taming Of The Shrew; W. Shakespeare)

      by LibbyLuLu on Tue Nov 13, 2012 at 08:34:34 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Well, I apologized and fixed it. (0+ / 0-)

      I didn't expect a response (something about checking comments, etc. etc. etc.). Thanks again for your zeal, and I'm glad I gave you something intellectually "meaty" into which to sink your teeth. I've enjoyed this off-topic exchange; in particular, the dead dog on a spike as a warning to intruders was a nice touch (at somewhere between 3-4 am CST, at that. Impressive! And so appreciated!).

      Love and kisses,
      Joanie/LibbyLulu

      Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples." (The Taming Of The Shrew; W. Shakespeare)

      by LibbyLuLu on Tue Nov 13, 2012 at 06:50:15 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Please remove your comment (0+ / 0-)

      As you took a thousand words or so to defend your reason for leaving it when you discovered the IM feature works, I would like to respectfully ask you to remove this off-topic spam comment from my post.

      Thank you in advance. And thanks for helping me understand how the HR button got screwed up. I won't make that mistake in the future, trust me. When I use it in the future, it will be intentional.

      Thank you for your prompt removal of your out-of-place comment.

      Love and kisses!

      Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples." (The Taming Of The Shrew; W. Shakespeare)

      by LibbyLuLu on Wed Nov 14, 2012 at 12:37:05 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  You have been asked to remove your vandalism. (0+ / 0-)

      Please LEARN what comments are for.

      Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples." (The Taming Of The Shrew; W. Shakespeare)

      by LibbyLuLu on Wed Nov 14, 2012 at 07:54:48 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  The King of freebies (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    LibbyLuLu, Cinnamon

    Yep, that's me. I collect a pension from three different government agencies. Free healthcare, dental and eyewear. About the only thing I am not eligible for are food stamps. I make WAY too much money to qualify for that. No doctor copays. Just a minimal charge for scripts at my local CVS. Free if I go to the Veteran's Hospital. Yeah, that is how I was injured. Serving on active duty in the Navy. And under what president did I receive these great benefits you ask? Why, none other the patron saint of all that is GOP, The Great Communicator himself, Ronald Reagan. I have only gotten minor COLAs from President Obama and this Congress.

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