From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Headlines You Won’t Read Today:
this thing called again?"
> Hurricane Sandy victims complain of too much reliefAnd you definitely won't read this one:
> Allen West gracious in defeat
> Speaker Boehner introduces jobs bill
> World weather forecast for 2013: calm, pleasant
> PolitiFact rates Limbaugh claim "TRUE"
> Petraeus-related sex jokes on late-night TV deemed fresh, funny
> Deaths from marijuana outnumber those from prescription painkillers
> Karl Rove issues refunds to donors for total election-night failure
> Gun owners wake up after Obama win to find their firearms replaced with arugula
> Bashar al-Assad "really really sorry for what I done"
> Gay rights movement grinds to a halt
> Secessionists praised for intellectual, emotional maturity
> Day-Lewis Lincoln portrayal leading contender for Razzie
> Paul Ryan hops locomotive, goes Galt
> President-elect Romney readies Day One plans to repeal Obamacare, approve unfettered oil drilling everywhere, cut taxes on the rich, declare economic war on China, pick Robert Bork as Attorney General, and freeze new regulationsThank God and the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Note: If someone knocks on your door and tries to sell you a subscription to Underwear On Head Digest, don't do it. It's a scam and you'll never get your magazines or your thousand dollars back. This also applies if the same person keeps coming back to sell you subscriptions to Underwear on Head Reports, Underwear on Head Review and The New England Journal of Underwear on Head.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Thanksgiving: 8
Days 'til the Netroots Nation Convention in San Jose June 20-23: 228
Rate at which Americans are arrested on a marijuana-related charge: 1 every 42 seconds
Percent of those arrests that are for simple possession: 87%
Number of marijuana-related cases that were instantly dismissed when WA voters passed a referendum legalizing possession of small amounts of recreational pot: 220
(Source: Think Progress)
Portion of Maine coastal counties that voted "Yes" on the marrage-equality referendum---which passed---on Nov. 6: 7-of-8
Portion of inland counties that voted "No": 8-of-8
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)
Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 4 Liberalisms and several animals that would definitely survive the apocalypse). Soul Protection Factor 16 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
Puppy Pic of the Day: In Buhler, Kansas, the fascinating saga of "Ditch Dog" comes to a fascinating conclusion.
CHEERS to Liberal Land, USA. Pop quiz: what does the number 6 have in common with the number 5? WRONG! The correct answer is: there are 6 states in New England, and that's one more than the number of New England counties that went for Mitt Romney last week. In fact, the drubbing the GOP got up here was more of a shellacking on top of a thumpin':
bag for New England.
Sen. Scott Brown, who electrified Republicans with his upset victory in a special election in January 2010 to succeed the late Sen. Edward Kennedy, was cast aside by Massachusetts voters in favor of Democrat Elizabeth Warren. Elsewhere in New England, Republicans lost every major election for Congress and governor. The six-state region will not have a single Republican U.S. House member, and only two Republican senators will serve in the next session. Only one of the six governors will be Republican.And now for an opposing view: "It's a dream," said me.
"It's a nightmare," said former Republican U.S. Rep. Chris Shays of Connecticut, a day after the election.
JEERS to An Army of Chickenshit. Remember back in May when it was discovered that an official Greene County, Virginia Republican Party newsletter ran this sweet little item? Here, I'll refresh your memory:
We have before us a challenge to remove an ideologue unlike anything world history has ever witnessed or recognized. . . . The ultimate task for the people is to remain vigilant and aware---that the government, their government is out of control, and this moment, this opportunity, must not be forsaken, must not escape us, for we shall not have any coarse [sic] but armed revolution should we fail with the power of the vote in November.Yes! There is no coarse [sic!] but armed revolution! And then there's this guy from the Hardin County, Texas Republican party:
“We must contest every single inch of ground and delay the baby-murdering, tax-raising socialists at every opportunity.”And even this guy, who lives right up the road in Bath, Maine, just had to tell this to the world in a letter to the Portland Press Herald:
The next four years will be the most horrific disaster in our country's history. In 2014, when the force-fed Obamacare kicks in, we will see the largest across-the-board tax increases known to man. Small businesses will continue to fail. It is time to perform a bit of personal economic stimulus and stock up on emergency supplies, food, guns and ammunition because the economic collapse of America is coming.President Obama is a center-left pragmatist with mainstream, next-door-neighbor views, and he's driving the Republican paranoids absolutely crazy. It's not enough to oppose his policies. They demand secession and call for armed revolt and vow to hunker down in their fortified, Spam-stocked bunkers until the the Barackolypse passes. If this is how they act after he wins two terms, all I can think is: damn, I wish he could run for a third.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. USA Today asks: Why do the powerful cheat?
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
JEERS to results at the speed of snail. Oh, hey! Let's check in and see how the vote counting is going in Arizona:
"Eight hundred nineteen thousand seven hundred and sixty two….Eight hundred nineteen thousand seven hundred and sixty three…Eight hundred nineteen thousand seven hundred and….um….er….oh, crap, not again. [Sigh] One…Two…Three…"Awesome.
Four years ago in C&J: November 14, 2008
CHEERS to going solo. President-elect Barack Obama's career as a Senator officially comes to an end Sunday. Reason: he says he wants to spend more time with his family. All 300 million of us.
CHEERS to gravity defiance. The space shuttle Endeavour is lifting off just as soon as the flight attendants brief the crew on the locations of the exits and how to use their seat cushions as a flotation device. They'll spend 15 days at the International Space Station, where guest passenger Joe the Plumber will install a new bathroom and then be jettisoned into deep space, where the Hubble telescope will mistake him for the star baby in 2001. Science rocks.
And just one more…
CHEERS to a gaggle like no other. The First United States Congress, which met in 1789, consisted of a bunch of white protestant dudes in wigs and knee stockings conducting business on behalf of all Americans, by which I of course mean white American protestant dudes in wigs and knee stockings. What fun to imagine how they'd react if they could get a load 'o the place come January 3rd. Women! Blacks! Hispanics! A Buddhist! A Hindu! Gays! Pretty cool:
Have a nice Wednesday. Here, watch Mitt Romney's Facebook page---it's melting! Mellllllting! Oh what a world…! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Bill In Portland Maine Removed From "Cheers and Jeers" For Dusting
---Jonathan Turley Blog