Willard Romney: [voice over] As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a president.
(Cut to Republican Convention): "I'm king of the world!"
On the Campaign Bus (voices a la Robert Altman):
"What a dump."
"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."
"Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!"
"Hiss...panics. Why'd it have to be Hispanics?"
Images courtesy Wikimedia Commons
Along the Campaign Trail:
Willard: Hello. I'm Willard. Willard Gump.
American Voter: Nobody gives a horse's shit who you are, fuzzballl! You're not even a low-life, scum-sucking maggot! Get your maggoty ass on the bus! You're in the army now!
Election Night Jump-cuts:
TV Anchor: "Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night."
Romney HQ: "Who's on first?"
Fox News: :"Houston, we have a problem."
Megyn Kelly to Karl Rove:"You can't handle the truth!"
"Are you crying? There's no crying! There's no crying in baseball!"
Viewer 1 (after midnight): "You're still here? It's over! Go home. Go!"
Earth to Romney: "Hasta la vista, baby."
Willard: Last Take
"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am."
"Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?"
"The horror. The horror..."
"Rosebud."
Ann: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn".
"Captain's Log, Star Date 110712.0106. This is the final cruise of the Starship Enterprise under my command. This ship, and her history, will shortly become the care of another crew. To them, and their posterity will we commit our future.
Our Future:
Image courtesy www.barackobama.com
(Dissolve to President Obama): "They call me Mister Tibbs!"