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Meteor Blades reported recently that the Texas crybabies now number over 115,000 signatures on the White House petition to secede from the union.

That is more than 3 times the next leading contender of sore losers in neighboring Louisiana with 30 something thousand.

The population of Texas exceeds 25 million.
Louisiana has 4.5 million people according to the 2010 census

Texas votes for Romney were about the same as the population of Louisiana, 4.5 million. Louisiana gave Romney 1.15 million votes.

So, the knuckle draggers that have signed the petition to secede represent what percentage of the GOP in these states? I'm glad you asked, I have a calculator.

Texas:  115,000 knuckle draggers (some out of state, I know) out of 4,500,000 = 2.555%

Louisiana: 30000 knuckle draggers out of 1,150,000 = (amazingly) 2.60869%

Is this proof that knuckle draggers are a consistent component of the GOP from state to state? Probably. Does this mean that 2% of Democratic voters are similarly afflicted? No, shut up. Don't think about it.

Got me thinking of what should be the White House response, and I think it might be fun to get "y'alls" help on this. (what is the plural of "y'all"?)

The plural of y'all is

"all y'all"
So, let's look at some of the options for an official White House response to the knuckle draggers.
Governor Romney supported a program of "Self-Deportation". Please take his advice.
Enclosed is a compass, Mexico is generally "West, Southwest" Bring your landscaping equipment, we set up a jobs program for you.
Thank you for giving the election results so much thought, on behalf of the 99.98% of the rest of the population of your state, we have decided that history should repeat itself. Enclosed is your share of the deed to the TEXIANA RESERVE, located on the border of Texas and Louisiana. This half square mile of prime real estate is rich in natural resources. Mostly aquatic, with a high population of reptilian fauna and flora consisting of cypress and milfoil. Since you signed your real name, (unbelievably dumb of you) the relocation is mandatory. Yes, there will be a fence to keep the rest of us out.
Have fun, post your own "official White House responses", and don't take any of this too seriously. I hope I haven't offended the 99% of Texas and Louisiana that is capable of critical thinking. I especially hope I haven't offended any Native Americans by bringing up old wounds. If my 6am calculator proficiency is as fuzzy as my slippers, I apologize for any math errors.
Poll

How to handle the crybabies?

44%41 votes
40%38 votes
15%14 votes

| 93 votes | Vote | Results

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (8+ / 0-)

    We've been spelling it wrong all these years. It's actually: PRO-GOP-ANDA

    by Patriot4peace on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:01:30 AM PST

  •  My Response? (6+ / 0-)

    Sherman

    Next time:  No More Mr. Nice Guy.

    Ceterum censeo Factionem Republicanam esse delendam.

    by journeyman on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:10:58 AM PST

  •  keep in mind anyone can sign these (7+ / 0-)

    and they are, my roommate signed it from here in vermont, not cause he's a texan wanting to secede, but a vermonter wanting them to leave.

    A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people ... restore their government to it's true principles.

    by maddrailin on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:12:20 AM PST

  •  I think the White House should handle the (6+ / 0-)

    secessionists in the same manner one would handle a 2 year old having a temper tantrum because they were not allowed to have candy before dinner. Let them sit in the floor and scream and cry--while ignoring their behavior. Then when they have calmed down, and are ready to behave nicely, they can talk to the parents about what they would like to do next.

    •  Agreed 100% (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      tonyahky, Sue B, FiredUpInCA

      but since the White House is obligated to respond to this temper tantrum, what can they possibly say?

      "Thanks for sharing your valuable opinion"?

      We've been spelling it wrong all these years. It's actually: PRO-GOP-ANDA

      by Patriot4peace on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:19:06 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  That would be okay--or how about (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        PSzymeczek, TLS66

        "Awww, poor babies--do you need your binky now?"

      •  They are in no way obligated to (0+ / 0-)

        respond to these. I can't believe that somebody on this site would believe that they are. Just what law requires them to respond, in your estimation?

        •  WhiteHouse.gov terms of participation (0+ / 0-)
          AS OF OCTOBER 3, 2011:

          To cross the first threshold and be searchable within WhiteHouse.gov, a petition must reach 150 signatures within 30 days.

          To cross the second threshold and require a response, a petition must reach 25,000 signatures within 30 days.

          https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/...

          The choice of our lifetime: Mitt Romney, It Takes A Pillage or President Barack Obama, Forward Together.

          by FiredUpInCA on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:50:27 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  That is just what the White House (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            kpardue, Catte Nappe

            internet dept. wrote on their own website. They are not bound to do it just because they themselves said they would. You also forgot to mention the part where they say that there are some petitions that for legal reasons they are not going to comment on. This is all voluntary on their part; their is no law that says that the White House must even have a petitioning site, nor is there any law that says they must respond.

            If you are so convinced that they "must", what is it that you think happens to them if they don't?

            •  Gah! (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              raines

              Those crazy guys at the Internet Dept.  Who knows what they will be up to next?

              If they only knew that the penalty for making goofy statements  about internet petitions is death by beheading.

              Awww, you guys. I'm sure all will be forgiven if you just take the damn site down and say you're sorry. I know. I know. Who would have thought anyone would be crazy enough to believe that?

              Just a nice polite note to the Dept. of Ag., and include a small box of chocolates just to show sincerity.

              How the Hell would I know why the Dept. of Ag.? Just send the note. And promise not to do it again.

              There's real fruitcakes out there in the bushes and they are armed. When they get liquored up they might hurt somebody. So don't fool around.

              Facts matter. Joe Biden

              by kpardue on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 06:16:22 AM PST

              [ Parent ]

      •  Obligated to respond? (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        MKSinSA

        Not exactly. As I understand the deal they won't respond unless the petition reaches a certain threshhold of support, but they don't have to respond if they don't want to.

        "...you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem." Mitt Romney

        by Catte Nappe on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 10:20:17 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Y'all (6+ / 0-)

    is plural. It means you all (all of you), the southern version of you guys. The singular of you all is you.

    You is both singular and plural, of course, but people feel the need to be sure everyone feels included so they say you all or you guys.

    Facts matter. Joe Biden

    by kpardue on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:27:34 AM PST

  •  I would simply say ..Deal with it. (0+ / 0-)

    that is what I tell my kids when they don't get their way
    and are pouting.

    We the People have to make a difference and the Change.....Just do it ! Be part of helping us build a veteran community online. United Veterans of America

    by Vetwife on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:40:11 AM PST

  •  The White House should give them a 1-word reply. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    journeyman, erush1345, PSzymeczek

    "No."

    And if that doesn't work, there's always "What part of the word 'no' didn't you understand?"

    •  Or "Go" (0+ / 0-)

      Then what are they gonna do? Like a dog that chases cars actually catches one, Now what?
      @2.5%, it's not like they have a big block of territory that they would tear off of US.
      Like the pound of flesh, but not a drop of blood, they can leave but the 97.5% non-soreheads ain't budging.
      What would really be fun would be for DHS to send each of these idiots a detailed copy of their dossier complete with close surveillance on their place of work and their afterhours activities, maybe even some phone, text and eMails, scare the bejesus out of them and end the send with "Have a nice day". No threats or instructions for surrender, just a very detailed "Hi There!"
      The ones that don't spontaneously combust will probably self deport in a hurry.
      But that wouldn't be Obama's style, would it?

      If I ran this circus, things would be DIFFERENT!

      by CwV on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 07:15:59 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  The reponse is easy peasy (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    PSzymeczek, Patriot4peace

    In order to peacfully seceed the following conditions are imposed. You must hold a vote and the motion to seceed must pass by over 50% of the state registered voters.

    If the secession vote passes, then the following will occur. All people who choose to remain American citizens will be relocated to the Untied States at the expense of the seceeding state. This includes paying their current salaries until they find work.

    All people remaining will give up their citizenship in the US. As a result, seceeding state citizes will no longer recieve Social security or any government retirements or health care.  They will never be eligible to become American citizens again.

    All current miltary bases in the seceeding state will be closed and the mitary personel relocated. In order to ensure you do not use that base against us, it will be destroyed completely.

    Businesses with Headquarters in a seceeding state will no longer be welcome to operate stores or offices in the US.  Employees of such businesses will also fall into the same support category as relocated US citizens. There will be a 50% tarriff on any goods produced in the seceeding state that are imported by an American business. We will send you a bill for your share of the national debt.

  •  Its my understanding that those petitions can (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    erush1345, PSzymeczek, Catte Nappe

    be signed by anyone from any state. If true, not only is the number of texans who signed that petition overstated, I suspect individual wingnuts went and signed multiple secession petitions.

    "I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth." --- Bill Hicks

    by voroki on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:47:22 AM PST

    •  Also liberals signed multiples (0+ / 0-)

      Indicating their votes for "yes, please go away".

      "...you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem." Mitt Romney

      by Catte Nappe on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 10:17:35 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  I think we should follow up and take them (0+ / 0-)

    seriously. There are across New Mexico checkerboards of Indian Reservations and they have sovereign rights.
    If they own their own home and the land it sits on, then they could border that off.
    We could work out a toll for using Federal and State roads. Excise taxes and Customs fee's will be tricky, but worked out. We could establish some kind of immigration reform to encompass the reintegration of young people who are too young to sign a contract at the time of secession, but those born afterwords would not have any special immigration status.
    Power, education and postal service could work, but it would have to be, at the very least, revenue neutral.
    Healthcare would be a big sticking point, we couldn't allow these people to give birth on US soil and if they become ill, quarantine may be necessary.
    I know I've only touched on the highlights, but I'm sure there are many more logistics to work out.

    "If you tell the truth, you won't have to remember anything", Mark Twain

    by Cruzankenny on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 05:54:18 AM PST

  •  I signed as many of the petitions as I could find (0+ / 0-)

    I'm happy to help the goppers look like the crybaby sore-loser whiny tinfoil-hat nutjobs that they are.  :)

    As for the White House response to all the secession petitions, I hope it consists of:  "Bye. Good riddance".

  •  Grammar and Secession (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    CwV, Catte Nappe
    Got me thinking of what should be the White House response, and I think it might be fun to get "y'alls" help on this. (what is the plural of "y'all"?)
    What you are looking for is the possessive, not the plural.  The word “y’all” is the plural of “you,” and “y’all’s,” as in “y’all’s help,” is the possessive plural.

    The expression “all y’all” is an inflection signifying, not plurality, but totality.  If I am in a room with five people, and I say, “I want y’all to come to my party,” the sentence is ambiguous.  I might mean the invitation to extend to only two or three of those present.  However, when I say, “I want all y’all to come to my party,” it is clear that I mean everybody.

    As for secession, this represents progress.  Back in the 1960s, the sort of people who now want to secede used to say, “Love it or leave it.”  It was their country, in their opinion, and if we didn’t like the way things were in America, we could just move to Russia or whatever.  Now, by petitioning for secession, they are saying, in effect, that this is our country, and they no longer want to be a part of it.  So let us fling the words back in their face:  “You don’t know how good you’ve got it in America, Bub.  So love it or leave it.”

  •  Not familiar with movement politics? (0+ / 0-)

    Getting 2-3% of a target population to actually sign a petition in two weeks is ver very fast.  The miost successful petition drive I ever worked on was the Nuclear Freeze and even that amazing success neither flew out the gate that fast, nor did the final numbers so vastly exceed (as a national percentage) what the Texas percentage already has.

    Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

    by ActivistGuy on Mon Nov 19, 2012 at 08:50:37 AM PST

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