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When I was a kid, Garanimals were fairly new on the market.  

I remember being fascinated by the freedom I would have to choose my own clothes, and to make them match.  We weren't really in a financial position for me to even consider getting new clothes, and thrift shopping wasn't cool, yet.  So I never got any.

The basic idea of the clothes is that they would have a matching animal on the tops and bottoms, and I, the young fashion plate, would be able to dud myself out in a way that would be pleasing to the other 6 year olds.  And perhaps, like in previous experiences, I would be able to attract the attention of the young ladies when we were out on the playground for our "Baby Dinos" games.  

The way to be a Conservative Jouranimalist is similar.  Instead of looking for the matching items that would make sense to reasonable people, you instead find distinctly unmatching items.  

Conservative Jouranimalism is rooted in one principle- Putting opposing ideas in one sentence makes you sound more smart.

For instance, you might see that Obama trounced Romney when it came to women voters, but instead of seeing this as a need to increase your awareness of women's issues, you would instead say something totally Jouranimalistic.  For example:

"It might seem like a crazy idea, but I'm just going to say it.  I think Todd Akin has a good shot at the 2016 nomination.  I realize that he has been beaten up by the drive by media, but he really has shown class since his loss.  

Think about it, he has national campaign experience as a result of his strong statements on women's healthcare issues, and he has developed a thick skin to shrug off the attacks on his character.  

If you put the right people in place behind him, he could have a good shot.   I'm not saying it's going to happen, but don't be surprised if you find this reposted in 2016."

They might notice that Obama won the election on a clear message about financial inequality in the US, and Romney was the perfect representation of this disparity.  

Jouranimalist says:

"I'm not totally sure on this one, yet.  I'll have to run the numbers, but I'm seeing that Romney was nearly able to win this election against a historically ethnic president, and idol of the poor and urban.  

Think about it, Romney nearly won against  a guy who had the entire media behind him, and not only that, but Sandy was extremely beneficial.  

His campaign management team was beyond bad.  If he had someone decent, like Karl Rove, he would have a great chance at taking California in the next election.

I'm not saying it's going to happen, but you might be mailing me your panties if I'm right."

To be jouranimalist, you have to take two opposing notions, and then make a completely counterintuitive leap.  

Americans don't like Romney, therefore, Romney would be a great candidate.  Make sure you use the term, "Just think about it."

Here's a good long time example of this jouranimalism that is deeply rooted in the conservative mind- tax cuts increase revenue.  

"So we have a deficit, right?  That means we need more money, right?  If you lower taxes, then you will bring more money in.  Tax cuts actually increase the amount of money the government takes in.  Think about it.  I'm not saying it's totally solid.  I'll have to run the numbers on it... (special note here.  YOu always have to use this word somewhere in the piece of jouranimalism)

And Kennedy.  "

And on religion-
"We have seen that Christianity is the most widespread religion in the US.  It is the most powerful force in many parts of the country.  Roughly 99.999% of all elected officials are Christian.  There are thousands of Christian TV and radio stations in the US.  

Christianity is under attack."

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Comment Preferences

  •  I have noticed (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    confitesprit, avsp, MKHector

    Many users on Dailykos will get hide rated if they use sexist language, or lie, or commit any number of other infractions.  

    What would I do if I were a jouranimalist?

    Streichholzschächtelchen

    by otto on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 01:37:31 PM PST

  •  Wait - you want me to mail you my panties? (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    otto, avsp

    I didn't think I was that kind of guy.  I'll have to run the numbers on that and get back to you.  What's your number?

  •  as a former journalist (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    otto, avsp

    I really think people need to understand the difference between a columnist, an opinion writer, an anchor, a commentator and a reporter.

    For instance, Karl Rove is on Fox and writes for the WSJ. He is a paid columnist and a partisan commentator. He is not a reporter and not a journalist. Same goes for Rubin. They might comment on news, they might try and break news, but they're not journalists.

    •  That's why they are jouranimals (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      avsp

      We'll have to leave it at that.

      Streichholzschächtelchen

      by otto on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 02:03:15 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  You're right but (0+ / 0-)

      most people probably assume Jennifer Rubin IS a jorno because she writes for a respected paper, alongside other jornos. She gets on TV to make commentary. So viewers/readers will assume she has some idea what she's talking about -- unless they do their own research.

      The civil rights, gay rights and women's movements, designed to allow others to reach for power previously grasped only by white men, have made a real difference, and the outlines of 21st century America have emerged. -- Paul West of LA Times

      by LiberalLady on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 02:28:26 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  which is why i say (0+ / 0-)

        people need to learn the difference.

        i hate it when people bash "journalists" because of what some opinion writer said in the NYT or WSJ or a blog or something.

        99% of journalist work their butts off every dayfor local stations and newspaper and radio stations covering stupid stuff like murders and groundbreaking ceremonies.

    •  I would also add transcriptionist nt (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      otto
  •  I think I have this down now. Do it like this? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    otto

    Jindal has definite chance at POTUS in 2016

    His extensive background in exorcism cements his Christian base while his ethnicity guarantees that minorities will flock to him.  

    Best of all, he is now reaching out to women in his base, ensuring that this huge block of voters will turn out for him. After all he is young, cute and has shown his sensitivity to women's issues by asserting that we should tolerating them when they are being silly

    http://crooksandliars.com/...

    Is this how you do it or did I leave too much truth in the mix?  I can try again.

    •  His experience in Church leadership (0+ / 0-)

      That's a bit nicer than exorcism.  

      Not only does he have experience with evil forces on Earth, but he has also gone to battle against spiritual politics as well.

      His diverse background give hims good standing in the Republican party.  Think about it.  

      Streichholzschächtelchen

      by otto on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 03:11:23 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  thank you; I think I am understanding now (0+ / 0-)

        A counterfeiter would be experienced in Treasury operations and functions while an embezzler would be a banking expert.

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